Not Supposed to Hurt Here

Church hurt transcends mere offense or discomfort. It encompasses betrayal, judgment, manipulation, exclusion, and sometimes even abuse at the hands of fellow believers or church leadership. In this raw and honest conversation, Jess and Steph share their personal journeys through church hurt, from the subtle exclusion after divorce to the blatant marginalization as single adults in family-focused congregations.

Jess reveals how after her divorce, she continued attending her ex-husband's church only to find herself systematically excluded from service opportunities and community events. "As soon as the ink dried on the divorce papers, everybody started treating me differently," she explains, describing the isolation she felt sitting alone Sunday after Sunday in a crowded sanctuary. Meanwhile, Steph recounts her heartbreaking experience with a church that explicitly prioritized married couples with children, leaving her feeling unwelcome and eventually driving her away from church altogether for several years.

These experiences reflect a troubling reality within many faith communities: people are walking away from church—not because they've lost faith in Jesus, but because they've been wounded by His followers. The consequences are devastating, as believers attempt to maintain their relationship with Christ while disconnected from community, often leading to a "slow fade" from faith.

Yet hope remains. Both hosts emphasize that Jesus was never the problem—He's the healer, not the source of hurt. They encourage listeners to acknowledge their pain without allowing it to destroy their relationship with the One who never fails.