29: Oops I… Spiraled Again

Ok, have you ever noticed that something you used to LOVE, something you actually NEEDED at one point, just doesn’t hit the same anymore?And nothing really changed. So wth happened?WHY do we keep doing things the way we’ve always done them, even when they don’t feel quite right anymore?HOW did we become the person who needed that life in the first place? Like, wth did we go through to get here?And WHAT IF we’re still following instructions written for a version of ourselves who doesn’t even exist in quite the same way anymore?🎙️ Ep31: THE FUTURE HAS A PASTCome walk with me. ❤️https://linktr.ee/JenerallySpeakingHair?utm_source=linktree_profile_share

WHY is it that we can feel SO ready for the next chapter of our lives… and still have no fucking clue where we’re going?Like, we’re ready. We’ve got ideas. We’ve got plans. We’ve practically decorated the place in our heads. So why does it still feel like we’re all dressed up with nowhere to go?HOW do we know whether we’re finishing one chapter, beginning another, or just standing somewhere in the middle wondering what the hell we’re supposed to do with ourselves?And WHAT IF the part we’re so damn impatient to get through is hiding something we haven’t even thought to look for?This week, 6 unexpected words came flying out of my mouth after a 10 hour drive… and sent me down a rabbit hole I did NOT see coming.We’re talking changing seasons, old habits, the lives we imagine, and a ridiculous little challenge that might reveal more about us than we’d like to admit. 😂Grab your curiosity. You might want to grab some candy, too. 🍭https://linktr.ee/JenerallySpeakingHair?utm_source=linktree_profile_share

Ever have ONE thing happen… and suddenly your brain wants to unleash every unresolved issue since 2007? 😂This week we’re talking emotional pileups, crash-outs, open tabs, tears, hormones, grief, exhaustion, and why one feeling doesn’t get to become spokesperson for your whole life.Maybe you’re not broken. Maybe your system just needs a minute to catch up.And if YOU wanna go for a walk:https://linktr.ee/JenerallySpeakingHair?utm_source=linktree_profile_share

What happens when one part of your life is popping off… while another part is completely under construction?This week, walk with me through the weird reality of having one foot on the gas and one on the brake — and somehow still moving.And somewhere in the middle of this conversation, I realize something about what I’ve actually been doing on this podcast every week — and it turns into something I definitely did not plan before I hit record. 😂Maybe you don’t need another person telling you what to do.Maybe you need a question you haven’t thought to ask yet. 😉Let’s walk:https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=40661530

Some of us got really good at being easy.Easy to live with.Easy to accommodate.Easy to clean up after.Easy to blend into the room.We picked the safe color.The practical thing.The neutral version.We learned not to take up too much space.But if you keep editing yourself out of your physical life…how will the people who love you know it’s you?And on the flip side… if your life is so full of random stuff that the things that actually feel like you get buried…how will they find you there either?This episode is about the strange little clues we leave behind in our colors, smells, spaces, rituals, objects, food, clothes, and choices — and what it might mean to become more recognizable while we’re still here.HOW WILL THEY KNOW IT’S YOU?

What if “I don’t need much” isn’t always freedom?What if sometimes it’s programming?What if wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful?What if desire isn’t the problem?What if the problem is how quickly we shame it?This one is taking us somewhere… yowzers!

How much of your life is still happening somewhere no one else can see?The conversations you rehearse.
The ideas you keep circling.
The style you love but never wear.
The things you keep saying you’ll try “someday.”And what happens when one of those things finally crosses over?This week, a very mundane dinner moment somehow cracked open a much bigger question about the invisible worlds we carry around inside us… what we let out, what we keep in, and what might be waiting for a chance to become part of our actual life.

After last week’s episode about my suicide/ideation history, a few loving comments stopped me in my tracks.Not because I disagreed with them.Because something in my chest kept saying:Wait.I didn’t understand why at first.Then I did.And once I heard it whisper, a prayer I’ve known almost my entire life suddenly sounded completely different.This episode goes into spirituality, faith, Heaven, Earth, the things we run from, the things we run toward… and a question I honestly can’t believe I hadn’t asked before.“ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN?”————————————————————————TEXT OR CALL 988 when life’s challenges feel too heavy to walk with on your own. https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=oneboxIn support of suicide awareness, join a walk near you this September/October:https://afspwalks.donordrive.com/OOTDWalksHave a “Box of Hope” sent to a family who just lost someone to suicide or simply donate to all the ways they are helping others “Out of the Darkness”https://www.outofthedarknessfoundation.org/

2 years ago, I sat in a certification course to become a “Mental Health First Responder”. I was there to learn how to help OTHERS recognize the signs, right?But then we got to the section on suicidal ideation. And somewhere in that, I recognized something in MYSELF… not a memory, but something current, something I’d been carrying and just calling by gentler terms.It shocked me. Because I thought that chapter of my life was long closed.There was a version of me (back in high school) who was carrying something heavier than anyone around her realized. 3/4 of those HS years, I had quietly decided this wasn’t a life I planned to stay in. I know how that sounds from the outside but it’s my truth, and it’s my story to tell.Something shifted by my Sr year, and I stopped planning to leave. Butttt 2 years ago, in that certification course, I learned that deciding to stay and actually wanting to be here aren’t the same thing… and that the space between them still had a name I hadn’t known to give it.This episode is that whole story... High school…What changed it…The years after……And what I found out two years ago that I didn’t expect to still be true.If you’ve ever whispered something internally, that you’re at peace with [God/Universe/Life/Creator] taking you at any time simply bc you’re just OVER how this life works…Press play. And if this hits home, please don’t sit with it alone… 988 is available to text or talk thru the life stuff with you, and I’ve linked more resources below.🩵💜We’re all just walking each other home.TEXT OR CALL 988 when life’s challenges feel too heavy to walk with on your own. https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=oneboxIn support of suicide awareness, join a walk near you this September/October:https://afspwalks.donordrive.com/OOTDWalksHave a “Box of Hope” sent to a family who just lost someone to suicide or simply donate to all the ways they are helping others “Out of the Darkness”https://www.outofthedarknessfoundation.org/

Why do good vibes make us nervous?Why do we say things like don’t jinx it, knock on wood, and don’t get too excited?I followed that anxious lil whisper this week, through upbringings, the American culture, & lived experience… and ended up somewhere I did not see coming.🎧 New episode of Jenerally Speaking out now.Ep22: “Too Good To Be True?”