350 – The Xavier Protocols

Ah, the age-old question: would you scissor your clone while yelling? (Uncanny X-Men #367) In which the Magneto War comes to a close. X-PLAINED: X-Men #86-87 Uncanny X-Men #367 Quite a few other things, which we'll add to this post tomorrow! NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey meets Generation X! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party. X-PLAINED: Several rather pointed allusions X-Force #86 Uncanny X-Men #365 X-Men #85 Almost Reno, NM Where mutants come from The Aguilar Institute (more) (again) Abandoned towns Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again) Odysseus Indigo The Damocles Foundation Sibling names The Fundamental Attribution Error A haunting Christmas beer Christmas ghost exquisite corpse Bill Jones A rescue mission Essential stories of the ‘90s Our weird favorites Siege Our upcoming 10th birthday party (more) (again) NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! RSVP to our birthday shenanigans! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Jay is dealing with an ongoing family medical emergency, so episode releases may be somewhat unpredictable for the next few weeks. Thank you for your patience!

In which we walk down X-Plain Memory Lane; everyone needs Bitch Planet; HoX/PoX wouldn't stay on shelves; we learn how to make sure a comic doesn't get canceled; Marvel should have kept publishing those Krakoa-era anthology TPBs; X-Men is indeed a soap opera; and you can jump in here 'cause we're all confused. X-PLAINED: The most crowded X-year Books With Pictures, official best comics shop in the world Our upcoming 10th birthday party Katie Pryde’s X-history Prioritizing marginalized nerd identities Lapsed X-readers X-sprawl The Dawn of X books that worked (and the one that didn’t) The frustration of discontinued collection formats The perfect number of X-books (again) Drama and kissing What we want after Fall of X Readers’ single issue vs collection preferences The power of the preorder Katie’s (naming) origin story Readers versus speculators How to organize a comic book store Non-X recommendations for X-fans The glory of Judge Dredd X-Men who can be trusted to watch a comic book store NEXT EPISODE: Deviants, Christmas ghosts, and Magneto! LINKS AND FURTHER READING: Books With Pictures in Portland, Oregon The Books With Pictures Podcast RSVP to our birthday shenanigans! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Marrow remains a connoisseur of dead rats; Jay has opinions about the NYC Subway system; U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M. are snazzy dressers; Doctor Doom gets excited about Onslaught; Magneto can have a rocket pack if he wants; villainous game recognizes villainous game; weird retcons are the best retcons; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and Miles die in this episode, they die in real life. X-PLAINED: Dracula as a universal standard Earth-441 Generation X #48-49 The missed potential of 13,000-year-old teenager Gaia The Jay Faerber run of Generation X Emma and Banshee’s forgotten X-friendship That time that Moira ripped off Banshee’s skin and wore it like a Halloween costume (again) Cordelia Frost, Emma’s younger sister Adrienne Frost, Emma’s older sister Interpersonal arguments by way of Asgardian combat scenarios Jubilee, fox; versus M, scorpion Alaska, moping capital of the Marvel Universe Clever scene transitions Constantine Francis Slaughter IV and his mustache Puberty as body horror Husk’s breakup haircut Slug emulation Generation X / Dracula Annual 1998 The Council of Cross-Time Draculas Chamber’s goofy face Vampire fonts Jubilee’s bunny slippers Charlie Brown in Snow Valley Count von Count (again) Monsters as class metaphor What would happen if Synch synced with Legion Who would pronounce Cable like Britta Perry pronounces bagel NEXT EPISODE: Victor Von Doom X-Plains the X-Men. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

From organic steel to organic... whatever that is. (X-Men #83) In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies. X-PLAINED: The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2 Babies and/or ghosts Chekhov’s repowering X-Men #83-84 Uncanny X-Men #364 Cerebro / Cerebro Prime Cerebrite Alpha Cerebrite Beta X-Men serial numbers What Gambit’s friends call him How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit Evil robot sperm Mary Purcell Multiple-monitor displays A computer with a computer AI The Florida facility Post Pile-Driver X A glimpse into the butt of all humanity Comics for babies Name-based powers NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy. X-PLAINED: Mary Purcell (sort of) The re-defaulting of the X-Men Uncanny X-Men #362-323 X-Men #82 Nebraska Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness Legacy Virus variations Going home again Running back and forth in quarries Marrow, who’s come a long way The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies Cerebro (the evil one) San Francisco and Tajikinistan Asphalt ball pits A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell Nina the Mannite Desire, love, loss, and fear Skulls and spines The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants Cerebrites Alpha and Beta A lost, smelly fish Ambiguous art Blood, sweat, and fears Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings Hopes for post-Fall society NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.