Q&A: Is Masturbation Wrong if My Spouse Can't Please Me? (+8 more), #623

"I guess  I'm just one of those women who can't." That's exactly what our guest believed early in her marriage when she struggled to experience orgasm. Have you ever thought the same thing? And what if you're wrong? What if there are things you just haven't been taught about your body, your anatomy, your arousal, and the way God designed you for pleasure? This week, we tackle the myths and misconceptions surrounding female orgasm and offer practical steps and encouragement for women who want to experience MORE in the bedroom.  God's not embarrassed by this conversation–so pull up a chair and join  us! Guests: Alana Martens and Tiera Reed Follow-up Resources: Finishing Well: Navigating Her Orgasm Together by Kingdom Sexuality (online course) Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life by Authentic Intimacy  Five Things You Need to Know About Women, Orgasm & Intimacy by Juli Slattery (blog) Q&A: Why can't I orgasm? with Dr. Juli Slattery (video) Other episodes you might like: #504 Painful Intercourse, Orgasm, and Aging Sex: Answers to the Most Popular Sex Questions #600 Why Sex Feels Hard (& How to Make It Amazing Again) #262 Experiencing Sexual Pleasure Part 1 #263 Experiencing Sexual Pleasure Part 2 Follow Kingdom Sexuality at @kingdomsexuality Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy            

How do you navigate conversations about sexuality and identity without letting fear, politics, or the pressure to have all the answers get in the way of loving people well?  This week, Juli sits down with Laurence Koo to talk about why questions of identity can feel so overwhelming, and how you can walk alongside someone even when you don't have all the answers. They also challenge the way we think about the "culture wars," explore what it means to see sexuality through the lens of the gospel, and offer a refreshing perspective on singleness, marriage, and authentic community.  Guest: Laurence Koo   Follow-up Resources: #576 Q&A with Jackie Hill Perry & Laurence Koo #297 FInding Freedom In the Midst of Brokenness #298 Sexual Identity Is Big; Identity as God's Child Is Bigger  What's the Most Important Thing the Bible Says About Your Sex Life? (blog by Juli Slattery) Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery  Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy    

What if God isn't asking you to fix every feeling before you come to Him? What if you could bring Him your anxiety, your frustration, your insecurity—even the parts of yourself you wish weren't there? This week, Juli's talking with Dr. Alison Cook about learning to notice what's happening inside us without immediately judging, fixing, or shaming our inner thoughts. Plus, you'll hear how understanding our own inner world can change the way we show up in marriage, parenting, and our relationship with God. Guest: Dr. Alison Cook Follow-up Resources: The Secure Soul by Dr. Alison Cook The Best of You (Dr. Alison's daily podcast) Take this free quiz from Dr. Alison to discover the role you took on in your family. Follow Dr. Alison Cook at @dralisoncook Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy    

How much have you already thought about your body today? For many of us, the answer is… a lot. This week, we're talking about the ways body image can quietly shape our mornings, our marriages, our dating lives, our parenting, and the things we're willing to do. What if our bodies were meant to give us freedom, not keep us stuck? Guests: Hannah Nitz & Val O'Brien Follow-up resources: Being Sexy Has Nothing To Do with Your Body by Juli Slattery (blog) Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready by Juli Slattery (blog) 3 Ways that Loving Your Body Builds Intimacy in Marriage by Joy Skarka (blog) Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Val O'Brien at  @_val_obrien Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy  

This week, Juli's answering your real questions about sex. Here's what's in the line up:  "What do I do if I don't find my husband attractive?" "Before marriage, I thought I was dying for sex. Now, it's a chore. Why?" "I've never had an orgasm and I don't care. Is that wrong?" "Is it wrong to please myself if my husband can't do it?" "How does sex point us to God?" "How do I seduce my wife?" "What do you do if your spouse decides they "don't actually need" sex?" "Nothing is off limits. No question is too awkward. Grab your Java and listen in!" Co-host: Hannah Nitz  Follow-up resources: Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Cliff & Joyce Penner The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Mind Ready (blog) Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready (blog)  Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Bedroom Ready (blog) Masturbation: Is It Wrong? (blog) "Is Masturbation a Sin?" You May Be Asking the Wrong Question (blog)  Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy    

Have you ever found out that a Christian leader you trusted had a major moral or sexual failure…and suddenly wondered, What am I supposed to do with everything they taught me? Can I still read their books? Can I trust what I learned? Does this mean I could fall too? This week, we get honest about what happens when someone who shaped your faith falls, and how to remember that Jesus—not our favorite pastor, author, or teacher—is the one we ultimately follow.  Guests: Hannah Nitz, Josiah Bogue   Follow-up Resources: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Josiah at  @josiahdlb  

Sex is never just about sex. That's why simple conversations about it can bring up shame, rejection, past wounds, and seriously different expectations. In this classic Java with Juli conversation with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, he and Juli talk about why couples need more than a shared bedroom—they need a shared language.   You'll learn how to: • Talk about sex when it feels awkward • Create words that feel safe and meaningful to both of you • Know what to do when a word or request becomes triggering Listen in now! (Even better—grab your spouse and listen together!) Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau   Follow-up Resources: Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life God, Sex, and Your Marriage  by Dr. Juli Slattery A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Doug Rosenau  

What if the question your teenager is asking isn't really the question they need you to answer? This week, we're talking with Val O'Brien of the 10,000 Questions Project about what she's learned from collecting thousands of questions from teens. And here's the surprising part: some of the hardest questions about sex and God are really questions about pain. Instead of jumping straight to an answer, what would happen if we got curious? Asked another question? Sometimes the most important thing a teen needs isn't more information. It's to know, "Do you still love me? Do you see me? Can I tell you the truth?" Guests: Val O'Brien, Hannah Nitz   Follow-up Resources: The 10,000 Questions Project Sex & the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery (updated & expanded edition) Follow Val O'Brien at @_val_obrien_ Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy  

What happens when a pastor has no accountability? Or when scripture is used to justify sexual abuse within marraige? When mental health problems are overlooked? Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife raises some hard questions—and they're questions the church can't afford to shy away from. So we're talking about them. Co-host: Hannah Nitz   Follow-up Resources: Ep. #319: Is Good Sex a "Right" in Marriage? Video Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly But My Spouse Isn't Satisfied. What Do I Do?  Video Q&A: Is It My Responsibility to Meet My Spouse's Needs?  A Church Called Tov by Scot McKnight & Laura Barringer Find a Christian Counselor  MyCounselor.Online The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE, or you can text START to 88788 Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz  Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy  

We're taking a break for Labor Day Weekend and we hope you'll get some rest too. In the meantime, check out these popular episodes from this year: #595 4 Lies We Believe About Sex  #603 5 Ways to Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marriage #612 How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy   We'll be back right here next week. See you then!