Ep# 142: Of Course You Feel This Way
Have you ever caught yourself saying things like:
I don't know why I'm so overwhelmed.
I should be handling this better.
Why don't I want to do the things I know I need to do?
Why am I so tired?
Today, I want to offer you a phrase that might change the way you respond to yourself.
“Of course.”
Of course I'm overwhelmed.
Of course this feels hard.
Of course I don't want to do one more thing for somebody else right now.
Of course I'm tired.
Of course I'm having feelings about this transition in my life.
These two words are the difference between fighting your experience and acknowledging it.
What Are We Really Saying When We Say "Of Course"?
When you say, "Of course I'm exhausted," you're giving yourself permission to acknowledge the demands you've been carrying.
When you say, "Of course I don't want to do one more thing," you're allowing yourself to recognize that your capacity has limits.
When you say, "Of course I'm overwhelmed," you're acknowledging that there may be more coming at you than you can comfortably process right now.
And when you say, "Of course I'm struggling with this transition," you're making room for the fact that something can be good and still be difficult.
These statements don't mean you're helpless. They don't mean you can't change anything.
They mean you're starting from an honest assessment of your experience instead of an argument about what you should be feeling.
And that can create room for a different response.
Saying "of course" isn't just about giving yourself permission to feel something.
It also asks you to consider what that feeling might be telling you.
If you're exhausted, perhaps you need rest, support, or a more realistic set of expectations.
If you're overwhelmed, perhaps you need to reduce the number of decisions you're making or decide what can wait.
If you don't want to keep giving to everyone, perhaps you need to examine your boundaries and figure out which commitments you're choosing and which ones you're carrying out of obligation.
If you're feeling unsettled now that your children are grown, perhaps you need space to explore what you want this next season to look like.
The feeling doesn't dictate the answer. But it deserves to be heard before you decide what to do.
And sometimes, when you stop criticizing yourself for having a feeling, you can finally get curious about what you need.
When you hear yourself saying, "I should be handling this better," pause.
Try finishing one of these sentences:
Of course I'm feeling this way, because...
Of course this is hard, given...
Of course I don't want to do this right now, because...
And then ask yourself:
Given how I'm feeling, what would be a helpful and honest next step?
Maybe it's doing the task.
Maybe it's postponing it.
Maybe it's asking for help, setting a boundary, getting some rest, or acknowledging a feeling you've been trying to talk yourself out of.
The answer will depend on the situation.
The important thing is that you're responding to yourself with curiosity instead of criticism.
And remember, giving yourself permission to feel something doesn't mean you have to act on every feeling. It means you can acknowledge what's happening without shaming yourself for it.
You can be overwhelmed and still make a plan.
You can be tired and still honor an important commitment.
You can love your family and need some time alone.
You can be grateful for your life and still want something to change.
Two things can be true at once.
So the next time you find yourself wondering why you're struggling, try a different opening.
Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?"
Try asking, "Given everything I'm carrying, of course I'm feeling this way. What do I need to understand, and what would help me now?"
You don't have to earn the right to have feelings.
You don't have to prove that you're struggling enough to deserve some compassion.
And you don't have to turn every difficult moment into another opportunity to improve yourself.
Sometimes the first step forward is simply to stop fighting where you are.
Of course this is hard.
Of course you're tired.
Of course you're figuring things out.
You're a human being living through a season of change.
Start there.
Until next time, give yourself the same curiosity and compassion you would offer someone you love.
And if you're listening to this and thinking of a friend who might need this conversation… please share this episode with her.
Because sometimes the most comforting thing you can say to another woman is simply:
"It's not just you."
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