146. Making Peace with Rest

Anesthesiologist and physician coach Dr. Melissa Welker joins me for an honest conversation about living authentically inside imperfect systems and showing up as the imperfect humans we are.Melissa is a board-certified anesthesiologist who specializes in obstetric anesthesia and also works in healthcare leadership. COVID sent her looking for ways to bring the humanity back into medicine. That search led her to Stoic philosophy and Buddhist teaching, and eventually to founding Aligned Physician, where she helps physicians build careers that fit who they are.In this episode:- Why life moves in seasons, how to trust your own rhythm, and why rest is the hardest season for high achievers to accept- How medicine trains us to ignore our own bodies, and how that affects our connection with others- Radical accountability and radical self-acceptance, and why every goal needs both- The "glasses" we see through, including the ones we borrow from other people- Polarity, the space between two poles, and how to choose where to stand- How Melissa helps patients feel calm in the few minutes before anesthesiaConnect with Melissa:https://alignedphysician.com/LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-welker360Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alignedphysician/

Get ready for an absolute treat, friend!Our guest is Dr. Sunny Smith - who is a family physician and the founder of  Empowering Women Physicians (EWP), which has had enormous positive impact for so many women. Sunny is a former Clinical Professor at UC San Diego School of Medicine, where she was honored for excellence in teaching and humanism in medicine. Her work on physician wellness has been featured in Forbes, JAMA, and the documentaries Struggling in Silence and Do No Harm. Through EWP’s coaching programs, she helps women physicians enjoy the lives they worked so hard to create.We talk about all the things! Especially learned helplessness in medicine and how physicians can start reclaiming their choices.We discuss:- Sunny’s recovery from her 2017 accident and how a coaching podcast changed her thinking- How medical training wears away autonomy, and what Seligman’s learned helplessness research shows us- Radical responsibility and Viktor Frankl’s space between stimulus and response- The research behind physician coaching, and why most physician coaches stay in medicine- Living each day in line with what matters mostConnect with Sunny: https://empoweringwomenphysicians.com/Please share this episode widely:)

Have you ever had a moment in meditation that felt bigger than you, and you had a hard time describing it? Most of us come to meditation for the science-backed benefits. I did too, decades ago. But I've been fascinated by the mystical side of meditation and life for my entire life, actually.  In this solo episode, I talk about what people actually experience in meditation and how to hold it gently.Want a personal deep dive? Schedule here:)https://calendly.com/rashmi_schramm/activateinnerpower1-1_30minsIn this episode:- Light, a subtle hum, vastness, tears with no story attached: experiences mystics across traditions have described for centuries- The last three limbs of yoga (dharana, dhyana, samadhi) and the siddhis from the Yoga Sutras- A story about one of my early students and her spreadsheet, and why chasing these moments gets in the way- Abhyasa and vairagya: steady practice, gentle letting go- Where the real gift shows up: more patience, more ease, less grip from the anxious voice- Grounding after big experiences, and when to reach out for supportMentioned:Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda; the Yoga Sutras of PatanjaliReference:https://www.rashmischramm.com Instagram @dr.rashmischramm

Content note: This episode includes discussion of serious illness, dying, and a parent's decision to end his life.When someone we love is seriously ill, most of us go straight into doing. We research, we call more doctors, we clean the closets. Anything so we don't have to sit with how scary it feels.In this conversation, my friend Dr. Delia Chiaramonte joins me. She's a board-certified integrative palliative medicine physician, a medical educator, and a coach for caregivers. She shares what she's learned from years with patients and families facing serious illness, and from living it herself. She was a family caregiver for several years, and she lost her father last year.We talk about why we avoid talking about illness and dying, what that silence costs us, and how to stay connected to the person you love, and to yourself, through one of the hardest seasons of life.In this episode:- What to say when you don't know what to say- Why "don't talk like that, stay positive" can leave someone worrying all alone- Letting fear "sit on the couch" so it loses some of its power- Why the plan-it-and-fix-it approach of high achievers doesn't work here- The child-vs-caregiver question: are you 90% nurse and 10% daughter?- Loving boundaries, and why they make you a *more* loving caregiver- The marathon and the gas tank: getting more help than you think you need- Self-compassion: what would you say to a friend in your shoes?- Palliative care vs. hospice, and why starting the meaningful conversations early matters- Life review and legacy projects, including the coffee table book Delia made of her father's artConnect with Dr. Delia:- Caregiver programs and resources: https://www.doctordelia.com- Speaking and consulting:https://www.integrativepalliative.com- The Integrative Palliative Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1617730043- Book: Coping CourageouslyResource:https://www.rashmischramm.com/clarity2027

Solo episode! I just got home from hosting my Sedona retreat, and I’m sharing three lessons while they’re still fresh in my body. We talk about what happened when laughter yoga turned into tears, why our nervous systems were built to settle each other, why slowing down is where so much of the medicine is, and the permission to be playful and serious in the same breath.You’ll also get a simple practice for this week: greeting your feelings like guests, with one long, slow breath before you decide what to do next.Dreaming about Sedona 2027? Email me at [email protected] and you’ll be the first to know when invitations open.Reference: https://www.rashmischramm.com

Embodying divine feminine power is not about gendered ways of being or acting. In this episode, we're exploring Shakti, the divine feminine energy that lives in all of us through Durga, Lakshmi, and Saraswati. We’ll talk about the power of protecting what matters, learning to receive, and trusting the wisdom and creativity that arise when we stop forcing.I’ll also share a simple practice to help you notice what you need most right now: to protect, to receive, or to express.Let's keep using the spreadsheets and the to-do lists, and also welcome and incorporate intuitive wisdom that shows up as divine feminine power.Reference:https://www.rashmischramm.com

In this conversation, I’m joined by physician, coach, physician leader, and fellow joy-seeker Dr. Chrissie Ott to talk about what happens when we stop following the life we’re supposed to want and start paying attention to what actually feels alive.We talk about visioning, the body as a compass, trusting the things we know before we can explain them, and taking tiny steps toward what feels more resonant. Chrissie also shares why joy isn’t about bypassing suffering—it’s about creating a life with enough alignment, agency, and delight to hold all of it.This one is about self-trust, synchronicity, serious play—and letting the path reveal itself as you walk it.How to find Dr. Chrissie Ott:https://www.joypointsolutions.comhttps://www.thephysicianscoachingsummit.comPodcast: Solving for Joy

Solo episode!We're exploring the Ayurvedic concepts of agni and ama as a lens for understanding modern information overload. Mental exhaustion and brain fog may sometimes just mean that you need less input. You’ll learn a simple practice for creating more space, discernment, and clarity in a world of endless information.Because information isn’t wisdom. Wisdom is what happens when we digest what we’ve received.Reference:https://www.rashmischramm.com

I got to sit down with award-winning international improviser and teacher Jonathan Pitts, co-founder of the Chicago Improv Festival and longtime Second City teacher, to explore what improvisation can teach us about being human.I've experienced Improv as a way to connect to being more present, playful and intuitive, and mostly just alive. He shares his experience and wisdom on this. We talk about improv as a mindfulness practice, the healing power of play, why “accept and build” goes far beyond the stage, and how Jonathan’s own experiences with trauma and recovery shaped the way he understands connection, boundaries, and creativity.We also explore the fascinating social-work roots of modern improv, why Jonathan believes improv can be therapeutic without being therapy, and what AI may never be able to replicate about human wisdom, intuition, empathy, and play.At its heart, this conversation is about learning to meet life the way a great improviser meets a scene: present, curious, responsive, and willing to say yes to the adventure.How to find Jonathan:https://www.globalimprovwalkabout.comInstagram @jpitts1028Reference:https://www.rashmischramm.com

What if rest doesn’t actually feel restful?In this short Labor Day episode, I’m sharing why stillness used to feel deeply uncomfortable for me—and why our nervous systems can become so accustomed to urgency that busy actually feels safer than slowing down.We’ll explore rest as a practice, the wisdom beneath all our doing, and why healing requires moments of relaxation and restoration.This Labor Day, consider this your permission to discover what rest looks like for you—even if it feels a little awkward at first.Reference: https://www.rashmischramm.com