23: Breaking Free: Unlearning Old Patterns

Have you ever wondered whether there is anything deeper going on behind a simple conflict such as “You never take out the trash!”? In this episode, we explore a powerful tool for working through conflict based on the concepts of roles and role switching. We walk you through step-by-step: How to start with what looks like a “me vs. you” disagreement,  to finding deeper “roles” underneath, to arriving at a place of shared understanding, intimacy, and resolution.. . .Special discount for listeners! Check out Magic Mind, the delicious all-natural elixir of mood-boosting, focus-making energy (without the jitters) that Lisa has been raving about! Made with matcha green tea + adaptogens + nootropics (brain food)! 100% money back guarantee, no questions asked.Discount code: INTWODEEP Link: https://magicmind.com/intwodeepWrite us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Patterns develop in our long-term relationships that can be very difficult to break. Oftentimes, these patterns are due to trauma (big or small) from our childhood leaving a hole of unmet needs that we bring into our adult relationships. We long for the perfect listener, caretaker, or champion that we never had. We unconsciously treat our partner as the one who can finally meet that need and fill that hole, not realizing that this creates deep-seated patterns that place constraints on our partner, on our relationships, and on ourselves. In this episode, we talk about how to bring more awareness to these deeper needs and patterns and how to live in other parts of ourselves longing for freedom and expression.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Somewhere deep inside us, we may dream that our "perfect" romantic relationship will be a kind of Eden—a safe space where we enter fully healed and are met with unconditional love from a partner who meets all of our needs. The problem is, romantic partnership is not that place and our partner is not that perfect person. Then what? In this episode, David and Lisa take a deep and serious dive into what they mean by "maturity" in relationship—becoming humbly self-aware of your wounds, history, deal-breakers, "hot spots," and shadow side. It also includes recognizing and expressing your needs while knowing it is not your partner's job to meet them, but rather to make intimacy from this place.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Ever find yourself or your partner getting defensive whenever you're having a conflict? In this episode, we unpack "defensiveness" and offer three cures: have regular fights with your inner critic so you don't project it on to your partner, create a team spirit atmosphere when you're working on issues your partner brings to you, and add big doses of humor and grace.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

How do you find intimacy together in the midst of a conflict, without re-escalating? In this episode, we explore what we call The Walk & Talk. Using an example from our own relationship, we model how to create spaciousness by walking side-by-side together instead of sitting across from one another, tabling the content of the conflict for another moment, and using your self-awareness to share what comes up for each of you emotionally, psychologically, and historically that contributes to the extra "heat" you each feel around a particular conflict.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Forbidden communication. Uncomfortable topics. Self sovereignty. Taking the road less traveled. Emotional intimacy in relationship asks us to go outside our comfort zones, to go over edges in our identities and bring in feelings and experiences that we normally would keep to ourselves. In this episode, we discuss these issues and the roles they play in deepening intimacy. Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Instead of focusing solely on the goals or intentions you’ve set forth for the new year, find out how your nighttime dreams can offer meaningful shifts for your intimate relationship. In this episode, Lisa and David each explore one of their recent nighttime dreams and its meaning for their relationship to deepen the learning for listeners.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Welcome back for Season 2! Let's jump right in. Many of us have internal voices that tell us things like “Don’t be selfish,” “Put your needs / impulses / desires away,” “Listen more,” “Share everything with your partner” or any number of messages that serve to imprison us, shame us, or tell us we don’t matter. We then project these internal "ghosts" on to our partner as if they are the culprit who has stopped us from following ourselves. When this happens, resentment builds. In this episode, we go deep in unpacking these common "ghosts" in relationship. For more on this topic, check out on Ep. 2 & 3 Ghosts and Ancestors.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

Join us for the Season 1 finale where we pause to debrief and share our reflections on this co-creative podcast project. We unpack how we've addressed criticism (both inner and outer), how we've danced with our different communication styles both on and off-mic, how we've wrestled with a sense of responsibility to deliver the next episode on time vs. a desire for spontaneity, play, and fun. We break it all down for you in our first ever 100% untouched, unedited episode. Thank you all for being in our listening community! Please join us in July when we kick off Season 2!Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!

“Why do people break up, and then turn around and make up?” Al Green sings in “Let’s Stay Together." Is there an intelligence behind the cycle of coming together, coming apart, and then coming back together again?Yes, there is! In addition to our powerful efforts to make a forever break from an unhealthy relationship, we all look to create a place of security and safety—a place that allows us to deeply bond—and then we shake the walls of that safety so that we can be a yet more whole version of ourselves. In short, we create a “status quo” made from a multitude of conscious and unconscious agreements which support a sense of harmony and security but at another moment become a box that we seek to break out of. Sometimes this 'breaking out’ is done less consciously through arguments, affairs,  addictions, or acting outside of our agreed upon way of relating. But we can learn to break out more consciously by taking intentional steps towards deepening of our relationship’s emotional intimacy.Join us for a lively, deep, and playful conversation on the making and breaking of the bonds that bind us.Write us a review on Apple Podcasts!Follow us:Instagram: @the.lisa.blair and @david.bedrickFacebook: Lisa Blair and David BedrickTo learn more, visit: www.intwodeep.comDonate to IN TWO DEEP!Thanks for listening!!