Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for a raw and nuanced conversation about stalking, leaked intimate images, deepfake abuse, consent, shame, sexuality, healing, OnlyFans, bisexuality, and reclaiming agency after trauma.Topics Covered:Norma Buster’s experience with stalking and image-based abuseWhy “revenge porn” is an inaccurate and harmful termThe evolution of image-based sexual abuse lawsVictim blaming from judges, police, and societyTrauma, shame, and psychological impact after leaked intimate imagesCA Goldberg Law and victims rights advocacyThe federal Take It Down ActWhy intent-to-harm clauses make prosecutions harderFree speech debates surrounding image-based abuse lawsAI deepfakes and nudifying appsDeepfake abuse affecting women, minors, and studentsConsent, impact vs intent, and digital privacySupporting friends through stalking or abuseVictim vs survivor terminology and trauma identityPurity culture and sexual shameBisexual awakening during the pandemicDating couples and exploring non-monogamyThreesomes and alternative relationship dynamicsHealing through sexuality and sex positivityStarting an OnlyFans after surviving image-based abuseSex work stigma and online identityReclaiming agency and personal autonomyAdvice for survivors struggling with shame and harassmentFollow Norma Buster:Instagram: @normabuster_CA Goldberg Law: cagoldberglaw.comFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaSponsor:Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting.Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex.Topics covered:Ethical non-monogamy & swingingWhy Kate rarely wants other partnersBeing a sex educator while datingBeing intimidating or “unapproachable”Emotional labor in open relationshipsUsing escorts and sex workers as a coupleNegotiating fantasies and boundariesWhy paying for sex can be simpler than datingOutsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interestsJealousy, communication, and trust in marriageMale vs female sex workersExploring kinks safelyWhy group sex stopped being excitingRealistic female orgasms vs porn fantasyAging, hormones, and changing libidoOnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention onlineKeeping long-term relationships excitingMatching underwear subscriptionsCruise playrooms and glory hole adventuresNovelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with… herself for a raw, unfiltered solo episode catching you up on everything from life on a Temptation Cruise to her evolving dating standards, sexual boundaries, and relationship mindset.Alexa shares what it’s like attending a Temptation/Desire-style cruise solo for the first time (people-watching couples, navigating swinger culture, and breaking down exactly how playrooms, workshops, and non-monogamous dynamics work in real life). She dives into her personal shift away from casual sex and into intentional dating, explaining why she’s now prioritizing emotional connection, aftercare, and partners who genuinely meet her needs, especially when it comes to oral sex. The episode explores deeper questions around monogamy vs. non-monogamy, whether one partner can meet all your needs, and how exposure to different relationship styles can expand your perspective, whether you ever practice them or not. She also shares behind-the-scenes insights into her workshops, from pussy worship to anal education, and what it’s like teaching pleasure in a fully immersive, hands-on environment.Topics CoveredSwinger cruise culture: Temptation & Desire breakdownPlayroom rules, dynamics, and etiquetteWorkshops: pussy worship, anal 101, handjob techniquesObserving newbies vs experienced couples in non-monogamyCommunity, connection, and friendships on lifestyle cruisesUsing pleasure and joy as a form of balance in a difficult worldTransition from casual sex to intentional datingSexual dissatisfaction and unmet needs in casual dynamicsThe importance of oral sex and prioritizing female pleasureThe orgasm gap and stimulation differences during penetration“Real eater only” mindset and not settling sexuallyMonogamy vs non-monogamy reflectionsFluid relationship identities and changing over timeLearning from different relationship structuresExpanding social circles: queer, kinky, celibate, non-monogamous perspectivesMasturbation and solo pleasure practicesBehind-the-scenes of sex workshops and teaching live experiencesSTI education gaps and common fearsOrgies, private room dynamics, and cruise experiencesCommunity vs sex focus in lifestyle spacesBuilding a career as a sex educator and coachThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexaTemptation Cruises InfoDesire Cruises Info

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Ashley Manta to explore the world of energetic sex: what it is, how it works, and whether you can actually feel pleasure, connection, or even orgasm without physical touch.They break down the concept of the energetic body vs the physical body, how breath, presence, and visualization play a role in directing energy, and how practices rooted in tantra, mindfulness, and somatic awareness can expand what we think of as sex. Ashley explains how energy can be shared between partners (with consent), how couples can sync breath and build intimacy without touch, and how techniques like eye gazing, chakra visualization, and intention-setting are used in workshops.The conversation covers everything from solo exploration to partnered experiences like “energetic penetration,” heart-to-heart connection exercises, and combining touch with energy to enhance sensation. They also discuss real workshop experiences where beginners reported feeling physical sensations, emotional releases, and even orgasms while fully clothed.Topics discussed:What “energetic sex” isEnergetic body vs physical bodyBreathwork and presence in sexual experiencesVisualization and directing energySolo energetic pleasure practicesPartnered energetic connectionEye gazing and breath syncingChakra system and energy movementHand energy exercise (feeling energy between palms)Energetic “penetration” conceptCombining physical touch with energyWorkshop experiences and beginner reactionsReports of no-touch orgasmsEmotional and somatic responses (shaking, release)Building confidence in energetic practicesEnergetic kink and power dynamicsEnergetic restraint and roleplayTuning into a partner’s “frequency”Feedback cues and responsivenessBreath orgasms vs other orgasm typesLaughgasms, coregasms, and non-traditional orgasmsExpanding definitions of pleasureSelf-pleasure and manifestation practicesUsing orgasmic energy for intention-settingLonger orgasm experiencesTantra workshops and festivalsTantric massage (what it may involve)Skepticism vs opennessLong-distance energetic connectionPhone sex using energy and visualizationAlexa’s personal experiment and results

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Star Stone to unpack her real-life experience inside OneTaste, the controversial “orgasmic meditation” (OM) community often described as a sex cult.Star shares how she was drawn in while searching for better sex and multiple orgasms, what “OMing” actually is, and how quickly curiosity turned into something much more complex. From communal living and blurred consent to coercion, confusion, and trauma bonding, this episode dives deep into the psychological dynamics of cult-like environments and how they operate under the guise of empowerment and sexual wellness.We talk about why people join, how boundaries get blurry, what makes leaving so difficult, and what healing looked like afterward. Star also opens up about rebuilding her relationship to sex, safety, and intimacy after the experience.We also cover the recent sentencing of OneTaste founder Nicole Daedone and what accountability, justice, and systemic change actually look like in cases like this.Topics covered:How Star first discovered OneTaste What “orgasmic meditation” actually is and how it worksWanting to become multi-orgasmic and seeking better sexThe structure of OM classes and partner pairingWhy the first experience didn’t work but still hooked herMoving into communal “OM houses”Sharing beds with strangers and lack of privacyHouse rules and daily OM expectationsConfusion as a control tactic in cult dynamicsPressure to override boundaries and say yesConsent vs coercion in group environments“Lean into discomfort” and loss of autonomySexual dynamics, power, and unsafe partner experiencesTrauma bonding and cycles of abuseWhy it’s hard to leave cult-like environmentsThe role of belonging, community, and vulnerabilityLeaving the house vs leaving the organizationTherapy, treatment, and understanding narcissistic abuseProcessing trauma through art, comedy, and storytellingLife after OneTaste and rebuilding sexual safetyHow the experience impacted her sex life and relationshipsLearning boundaries, discernment, and partner selectionMoving to Costa Rica for healing and nervous system resetWriting and performing her one-woman showHumor as a tool for processing traumaCult psychology and why smart people still joinJustice vs systemic change in cases of sexual exploitationAt the time of this episode, Star chose not to speak in detail about the legal case.However, here are the key verified facts:Nicole Daedone was sentenced to 9 years in federal prison in March 2026 for forced labor conspiracyCo-defendant Rachel Cherwitz received 78 months (6.5 years)Prosecutors said the organization used psychological, emotional, and financial coercionVictims were allegedly pressured into unpaid labor and sexual acts with clients or investorsThe court ordered $12 million in forfeiture and nearly $900,000 in restitution to victimsThe case followed a five-week federal trial in 2025If you want to read more:DOJ sentencing announcementGuardian coverage of the caseThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.”From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them.They cover:sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable patternspontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happenwhy initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)obligation sex vs genuinely wanting itthe role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfiresthe orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulationwhy couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationshipscommunication struggles and how to actually say what you wantturning complaints into clear desiresbuilding anticipation, tension, and erotic connectionpractical tools like the “willingness window”how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian Tina Friml to talk about:Growing up with cerebral palsy and dating insecuritiesBecoming a successful comedian even without a drivers license Bullying around desirability and sexHaving sex for the first time at 26Slow burn vs instant chemistry in datingNavigating ambiguity and attractionMaking dates go to her comedy showsUsing comedy to express kinks and boundariesBad sex due to lack of communication/understandingPolyamory vs monogamy experiencesSex parties and explorationDiscovering a love for restraint and being tied up (Shibari)Sex toys and accessibility issuesMisconceptions about disabled people being non-sexualEmotional labor of making others comfortableRejection and people avoiding honestyGreen flags in dating disabled peopleThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, and the very real phenomenon of post-nut clarity.We get into how sex parties are evolving beyond just hooking up, and why community might be the most important part of modern sexuality. From mixers and workshops to co-working spaces (yes, really), we explore how people are using these environments to build real connections, not just get laid.We also talk about:Why community comes before sex (and how that changes everything)How kink and non-monogamy have become more visible The rise of switches and why rigid dom/sub roles are fadingWhat people still get wrong about power dynamicsPost-nut clarity, what actually happens psychologically and physically after orgasm, and why so many people completely drop the ball right after they comeWhy private orgies > big parties (sometimes)How to approach people at events without being weirdThe reality of running a sex party businessThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it directly impacts your sex life.From feeling “seen, heard, and safe” to understanding why some people need emotional connection before sex (and others after), this episode breaks down the real dynamics behind intimacy, desire, and long-term connection.Alexa and Gaby explore how disconnection happens  (even in good relationships) and how couples can rebuild it through communication, attunement, and intentional effort. They also unpack why relying on your partner as your only emotional outlet can kill attraction, and how having a “menu” of support systems actually strengthens your relationship.In this episode, we cover:What emotional connection actually meansEmotional vs physical connection and how they influence each otherWhy some people need sex to feel emotionally connectedWhy emotional safety is the foundation for intimacyReconnecting after a fight (without forcing sex)Meeting your partner in the middle instead of rejecting bids for connectionExpanding your “menu” of emotional support beyond your partnerWhy relying on your partner for everything kills attractionHow to feel connected again when life gets busyWeekly check-ins and “heart to heart” conversationsThe importance of non-sexual touchAppreciation, praise, and feeling seen in relationshipsCreating novelty (why hotel sex hits different)Why good sex doesn’t equal emotional connectionResentment as the biggest relationship killerOne-sided effort and what to do when your partner isn’t trying“We accept the love we think we deserve”Outgrowing relationships and evolving needsHow to know if a relationship is worth savingDating tips to assess emotional compatibility earlyWhy safety is essential — even in casual sexAttunement: the sexiest relationship skillThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel the need to be the funniest person you’ve ever met.From prank culture to competitive humor between partners, Billy and Alexa unpack the difference between being funny, being fun, and trying way too hard. They discuss why some people struggle to accept being the “joke receiver,” why men can feel threatened by funny women, and why humor can help smooth conflict.In this episode we cover:Why humor matters in relationshipsThe difference between being funny vs being funWhy trying to be funny often backfiresMen feeling pressure to be the funniest person in the roomWhy some men get uncomfortable when women are funnierHumor competition in datingThe role of banter and shared humor stylesWhy prank humor often crosses the lineAccepting that you might not be the funny oneHumor as a tool to diffuse conflictDifferent types of humor compatibilityWhy forcing jokes is unattractiveHumor as part of flirting and connectionWhy being playful may matter more than being funnyThe pressure comedians face in datingDating when humor is part of your identityThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa