What Are You Strengthening in the Next Generation? The Legacy Loop Series w/ Rhiannon NIlson

Episode 060: Should we help our kids buy their first homes—or would that take away an important struggle they need to experience?Rhiannon and I are both proud that we saved for our first home without help from our parents. Working toward that goal taught us discipline, patience, and the satisfaction of earning something together. At the same time, our kids are entering a world where education and housing cost significantly more, and we would love to give them a responsible head start if we’re able.In this episode, we share the first of our three strategies for strengthening the love of family: a first-home down-payment match. We discuss why we want our kids to have skin in the game, how a written letter could create gratitude and clarity, and why each child’s readiness matters more than treating everyone exactly the same.We haven’t implemented this strategy yet, and we’re still wrestling with the details—especially when future spouses enter the picture. Our goal isn’t to make life easy for our kids. It’s to ask whether our help will strengthen their responsibility, relationships, and future families.Money is just a tool. The question is what our giving makes possible.

Episode 059: What is your family trying to strengthen in the next generation?Most successful organizations have a clear vision, but few families take the time to define where they’re going together. In this episode, Rhiannon and I share how we created our family vision statement: to strengthen endless generations of Nilsons in their love of family, health, and meaningful work.We discuss why the idea initially felt a little corporate and cheesy, how our stories helped reveal the values that mattered most, and why changing one word—from supporting our children to strengthening them—completely changed the way we thought about our legacy. We also explain how we nearly left health out of our original vision, even though it had shaped so much of our lives.Our vision statement isn’t perfect or permanent. It has evolved as we’ve grown, and it may continue to change. Its purpose is to give our family a shared direction and a practical filter for decisions involving our time, energy, and money.A family vision should be simple enough to remember, meaningful enough to guide decisions, and flexible enough to grow with the people it represents. The goal isn’t to create the perfect sentence. It’s to put a direction on paper, begin talking about it with the people you love, and start moving toward it together.

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Episode 057:  How do you decide what your family wants to strengthen—and choose practical ways to live it out?In this episode, Rhiannon and I share how we created our own Legacy Loop around three principles: family, health, and meaningful work. We explain why every family should use language that connects with its own experiences, values, and vision rather than simply copying ours.We also explore the difference between principles, strategies, and techniques. Principles define what matters. Strategies provide a consistent path for strengthening it. Techniques can change as our lives, resources, and family members change.Using family vacations as an example, we discuss how our stories revealed what mattered to us and helped us choose a strategy that brings our family closer. We also talk about the role money plays in the process—not as the goal, but as one of many tools we can use to strengthen what matters most.You don’t need a large inheritance or a perfect plan to begin. You can start by asking what you want to strengthen in the next generation, examining the stories that shaped you, and choosing a few intentional ways to put those values into practice.

Episode 056: What are we really passing down to the next generation? In this episode, Rhiannon and I explore a definition of legacy that goes far beyond money or inheritance. To me, legacy is generational strength—what we strengthen today so the people, families, businesses, and communities we care about can continue growing long after we’re gone. We also introduce the Three Levels of Legacy. It begins with Connection: strengthening the relationships that hold people together. From there, we build Capacity by helping each person grow stronger in mind, body, and spirit. Finally, that strength creates more opportunities for Contribution.  For our family, we simplify those levels into three words: family, health, and meaningful work. Your words may be different, but the goal is the same—to define what matters most and intentionally strengthen it. Legacy isn’t something we leave behind someday. It’s something we’re building right now. 

Episode 55: How much financial help should you give your kids? In this episode, Rhiannon and I introduce the Resistance Triangle—a practical framework for making thoughtful parenting and money decisions. Using back-to-school shopping as a real-life example, we explore three questions: What is the purpose? How ready is the child? And what is the appropriate amount? We discuss why treating children fairly doesn’t always mean treating them equally, how gratitude and maturity should influence financial support, and why the right answer may change as each child grows. The goal isn’t to find one perfect formula—it’s to make intentional decisions, learn from the results, and adjust along the way. 

Episode 054: In this episode, Rhiannon and I explore two timeless principles that shaped my career as a strength coach and continue to influence how we raise our kids: resistance and growth.In the weight room, too little resistance makes an athlete weaker, while too much can overwhelm or injure them. Parenting works much the same way. Our challenge is to meet each child where they are, provide the right amount of resistance, and allow them to work through difficult experiences without taking over.We share some honest examples of times we may have pushed our kids too hard, made life too easy, or disagreed about the best way to help them grow. We also discuss why growth is never a straight line, how strength can fade when we stop practicing it, and why comparing siblings to one another can rob us of the opportunity to appreciate their individual progress.We certainly don’t have parenting figured out, but these principles have helped us become more intentional about preparing our kids for real life—and reminding ourselves that every person is on their own growth curve.

Episode 053: How do we make good decisions when there are endless options and no obvious right answer?In this episode, Rhiannon and I unpack the PST process—principles, strategies, and techniques—the most powerful and useful decision-making framework I’ve ever applied to my life. I first learned it through my strength & conditioning mentor, Gary Gray, and it helped me stop chasing the newest exercises and start anchoring my decisions to the principles behind them.We explain how principles give us a foundation, strategies provide direction, and techniques give us the flexibility to respond to different people, seasons, and circumstances. We also explore the difference between universal truths and the values that are personal to each family, and how a strategy such as family vacations can be used intentionally to strengthen relationships.Rhiannon shares why the language of PST confused and frustrated her for years—and why she eventually discovered that the framework wasn’t as rigid as it initially sounded. Once we understood it together, it gave us a shared language for evaluating our choices and asking a better question: Does this decision strengthen what matters most to us?This is the same framework I’ve used in training, parenting, relationships, and money—and the framework I used to build the Legacy Loop.

Episode 052: What if the greatest gift we can give our kids isn’t an easier life, but the right amount of resistance to help them grow?In this episode, Rhiannon and I explore the inheritance trap—the danger of allowing money to remove the challenges that build confidence, work ethic, gratitude, and purpose. We reflect on the seasons when we had less, why working toward something can be more meaningful than finally getting it, and how difficult it is as parents to watch our kids struggle when we have the ability to help.We also discuss how both too much and too little financial support can weaken the next generation. Using college as an example, we wrestle with how to help our kids without removing their responsibility or forcing them to carry unnecessary burdens alone.Ultimately, we stopped asking, “How much money should we leave our kids?” and began asking a better question: “What do we want our money to strengthen?” That shift is helping us think more intentionally about using money to strengthen our kids, their relationships, and the values we hope will continue for generations.

Episode 051: In this episode, Rhiannon and I look back at the dreams we wrote down when we had very little money—and the fun we had watching many of them come true. We talk about our 101-goal lists, traveling to places we had never been, my early Save/Invest/Give coffee cans, and eventually building the dream house we had pictured for years.But achieving that dream left us with an unexpected question: Now what are we saving for?We explore why money should never become the goal, how dreaming can create incredible memories, and why enjoying life today and building something meaningful for tomorrow don’t have to compete. The deeper question isn’t simply what we want to accomplish or acquire—it’s what we want our money to strengthen.This conversation ultimately sets the stage for an even harder question: If struggle helped us grow, how much of it should we remove from our children’s lives?