Scriptures of Trump feat. Pete Holmes

The blue wave is hitting people in the face over and over but they are loving it!Join us this week as we discuss the prominent rumor that there are actually 200 million people in New York City and see if we can improve on our first date with some perfect first date question.

We all know that hypocrisy is annoying, which bothers us because we all do it. You know what else bothers us? Amy Poehler ahead of us in the podcast rankings. You know what to do Highly Amusing fans: kidnap Amy and bring her to us like that one scene in Christmas Vacation, and then we tell her how we feel and she gives us big enough bonus to put in a pool.

Have you ever said a church founder was a pedophile? Why not? A ton of them are. Anyway, it can save you up to 10% of your income. Keep listening to learn more. Today Dayna also pitches everyone on the idea of a laundromat that is nice and doesn't let poor people in. She thinks they should sleep in dirty bedding for at least a year. Intrigued? Offended? Either way, stay tuned!

You may have heard that we are in trouble with the Mormons, but if you're reading this there's also a chance you're the little tattle tale who told the Mormons. Don't worry, the flack you'll get in this mortal plane for being a little loser is worth it considering the new fourth tier of heaven you'll be granted in the afterlife. And it comes with unlimited baby making with Joseph Smith or Brigham Young.

What does it mean to be unlicensed? Does it matter? How does that make you feel? Well you just got unlicensed therapied. You're welcome. You are now unlicensed as well.

What if you realized one day that you were a narcissist, but it was okay, because you were a narcissist in a new way that made you better than all the others?We explore this and other ideas, but not too many, so don't get yourself all worked up.It's October now, so we also preview two scary movies that are older than you are. It's spooky. Spooky-- scary! Boys becoming men; men becoming wolves.

We know why you're here. It's not for the friendly conversations or the laughs-- it's for cold hard facts. That's why we talked about CERN, and that's why we talk about the science of a man dying and then being a squirrel later, because we love science. So come get your degree in little kids saying weird things and their moms thinking they're a Victorian witch.

Sometimes a book comes along that is so bad, you need to form a book club to cover it. We did it, and now we're a full time book club podcast. In fact, if you're illiterate, you're not allowed to read these description. We don't need no illiterations just racking up our listener totals because they can't read our podcast the way Joseph Smith intended.

You ever get lost in the woods? Sure, as a kid-- we all did that, but have you ever been courageous enough to do it as an adult? Few are foolish enough to even attempt it, but we go there. And we can't find our way out. Tell your friends! What should you tell them? IDK, I'd probably have friends if I stopped asking them to subscribe in real life.

Book of Donald Stories that my Fox News tells to me!Pete, we're so glad you're here. This was all for you, sorry that we forgot to talk about you as much as we wanted to, but we hope that it'll help you on your journey toward finally kicking the pot habit. But seriously, text me. Also Dayna's period abruptly ends during this pod. It's exciting to hear.