Episode 5: “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” and Processing Sexual Trauma

In this episode, I unpack the lyrics of “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” by Taylor Swift from the 2022 album, Midnights, through the lens of grieving the loss of your childhood self after enduring trauma.Childhood ends for everyone, but if you experienced trauma at a young age, you might have been forced to grow up way too young. As an adult, we can look back at our past with sadness, grieving the ways we were prevented from being the children we were. I see “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” as an ode to this grieving process - in addressing the fact that we never deserved the trauma we went through, we can let go of shame that we somehow deserved it. This is a heartbreaking song and episode, so please be gentle with yourself when listening. Resources:Check out my website for free resources and ways to work together: emmymarie.comLow-cost membership for survivors: https://blooming-together-community.mn.co/Blooming Relationships Course: https://www.emmymarie.com/blooming-relationshipsInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest, Marisa, of @littlebent_notbroken and I unpack the lyrics to “The Way I Loved You” from Taylor Swift’s album, Fearless (throwback!). We discuss our interpretations of the song through the lens of what it’s like to be in a new relationship after a toxic or abusive relationship. Some topics we cover in the episode are:- missing someone even though they were toxic or harmful in your life.- when dating after abuse feeling boring or lackluster compared to the high highs and low lows of a past relationships.- why you’re attracted to the chase of someone inconsistent.- what you learn from relationships that pair love with pain.and so much more!I hope you enjoy the episode!!Resources:Interested in working with me? Check out my website here: https://www.emmymarie.com/Follow me on Instagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyFollow Marisa on instagram: @littlebent_notbroken and check out her website: https://www.littlebent-notbroken.com/ and podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mhmthepodcast Got feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest Sara Aird of @breakingdowncptsd and I unpack the lyrics to “My Tears Ricochet” from Taylor Swift’s album, Folklore. We discuss our interpretations of the song through the lens of what it’s like to walk away from a toxic or abusive family system. Some topics we cover are the duality of loving people but knowing you need to walk away from them, feeling misunderstood for making boundaries, and creating your own home base.Content note: suicidal ideation is mentioned briefly around the 12-minute mark, in addition to discussions of abuse (non graphic) throughout. Please take care of yourself when listening!I hope you enjoy the episode!!Resources:Interested in working with me? Check out my website here: https://www.emmymarie.com/Follow me on Instagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyFollow Sara on instagram: @breakingdowncptsd and check out her website: https://www.saraaird.com/Got feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, I unpack the lyrics of “peace” by Taylor Swift from the 2020 album, folklore, through the lens of being in a relationship when you’re a trauma survivor.Relationships take work for everyone, but when you’re a trauma survivor or living with mental illness, it’s easy to question if what you can give to the relationship is going to be enough for the other person to stay. In this episode, I consider the ways Taylor’s lyrics convey the doubt, the desire, and the compromise of dating when you’re on your healing journey.In addition, I share a bit about my course, Blooming Relationships, which I created to help trauma survivors create safe, empowered, and joyful relationships without needing to “get over” trauma. Learn more and join Blooming Relationships here: https://www.emmymarie.com/blooming-relationshipsResources:Check out my website for free resources and ways to work together: emmymarie.comInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest, Jessie, and I unpack the lyrics of “evermore” by Taylor Swift from the 2020 album, Evermore. In this episode, we explore a realistic timeline of healing from an abusive relationship - because it’s usually not all sunshine and rainbows after you leave. This episode is about the aftermath: processing the trauma, trying to figure out what exactly happened, and the cycles of self-blame when the world tells you to get over something you can’t. We discuss the complex experience of freedom: feeling lost in addition to experiencing the loss of something that meant the world to us. Despite the darkness of grief, we unpack the parts of this song that point to the magic and power of survival. Resources:Interested in working with me? Check out my website for free resources, 1:1 coaching info, and more! emmymarie.comInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, I unpack the lyrics of “The Great War” by Taylor Swift from the 2022 album, Midnights through the lens of inner child healing.In the first verse and chorus, I interpret the battle described as the struggle for survival in an abusive relationship, reflecting on my own feelings of powerlessness and self-blame. Moving to the second verse, I discuss the challenges encountered during the healing process, including self-destructive tendencies and the difficulty of trusting safe individuals. The bridge serves as a pivotal moment of realization, where I unpack the manipulation and betrayal endured when we have been convinced to fight against ourselves. The final verse describes the commitment to healing, honoring the journey, and vowing to never return to the horrors of the past. I conclude the episode by reflecting on the personal significance of embracing my inner child and the profound wisdom that emerges from within.Resources:Check out my website for free resources and ways to work together: emmymarie.comInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest Ali Kates and I unpack the lyrics of “The Archer” by Taylor Swift from the 2019 album, Lover. In this episode, we explore the desire to express anger and fight back as a trauma survivor after attempting to secure connection through fawning or performing doesn’t work. We shed light on the very real urge to self-sabotage during intense dysregulation. We discuss finding your authentic self beneath the urge to fight, flee, and fawn. Finally, we highlight some of the struggles when it comes to being high functioning and basing your image on being strong and confident when you feel anything but.Resources:Check out Ali’s website: https://alikates.co/Follow Ali on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alikates.co/Interested in working with me? Check out my website for free resources, 1:1 coaching info, and more! emmymarie.comInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest Sallie Keena and I unpack the lyrics of “Delicate” by Taylor Swift from the 2017 album, Reputation. In this episode, where we delve into the intricacies of relationships, particularly for folks with anxious attachment styles. We explore the nuances between patterns of dropping everything for someone who isn't reciprocating enough and the thrill of a new crush, and the fragility of friendships turning into something more. We also examine the assumptions we make when our trauma has conditioned us to think we are "too much" for others.Do you ever wonder if you're too much for someone or fear overwhelming them with your feelings? We discuss the oscillation between confidence and self-doubt when a relationship is yet to be defined. Additionally, we highlight the obstacles of not knowing the label of a new relationship and the lack of security that comes with it.Join us as we navigate the complexities of relationships and delve deeper into the anxious attachment style.Resources:Interested in working with me? Check out my website for free resources, 1:1 coaching info, and more! emmymarie.comInstagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, I unpack the lyrics of “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” by Taylor Swift from the 2022 album, Midnights. Content note - this episode discusses sexual abuse, grooming, and self-harm. Please take care of yourself when listening.In the episode, I recount my experience of experiencing sexual abuse as an adolescent in my first real relationship. I delve into the dynamics of being in an abusive partnership at a tender age, shedding light on the emotional coercion, violation of boundaries, and the yearning to be accepted. Additionally, the episode delves into the long-term repercussions of such trauma, including the burden of PTSD and grappling with resentment towards those who subjected you to such ordeals at a vulnerable time in your life.Resources:Blooming Relationships is open for enrollment! https://emmymarie.com/blooming-relationships to learn more and sign up!Instagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyGot feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]

In this episode, my guest Sara Aird of @breakingdowncptsd and I unpack the lyrics to “Death By A Thousand Cuts” from Taylor Swift’s album, Lover. We discuss our interpretations of the song, ranging from walking away from a toxic family after the accumulation of hurt becomes too much to ignore, to reckoning with the end of a “situationship” you thought was going to be more than it was.Resources:Blooming Relationships is open for enrollment! https://emmymarie.com/blooming-relationships to learn more and enroll!Follow me on Instagram & Tiktok: @bloomingwithemmyFollow Sara on instagram: @breakingdowncptsd and check out her website: https://www.saraaird.com/Got feedback? Contact me via email at [email protected]