Ashley John-Baptiste: Rejection, aspirations, and a lack of hugs

It’s important to live without regrets, to try everything, but also to know when to quit. Jon Bon Jovi feels leaving a legacy isn’t about competing with others, but about being able to say you’ve been the best version of yourself. In this chat with Fearne, Jon talks about why he reckons being hard working trumps talent, and why he continues to demand excellence from himself, even 40 years into his career. Jon also opens up about the reality of working with a bandmate with addictions, and how he’s been able to steer clear of rock’n’roll excesses (for the most part) himself. Are you good at celebrating your successes? Between them, Fearne and Jon wonder if the Americans are better at boldly owning achievements than Brits... Bon Jovi’s new album, Forever, is out now.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is the world ready for free women? Paloma Faith feels society grooms girls and women to make themselves smaller, to take up less space, and to dismiss their own needs... and she’s calling bullshit on it. In this chat Fearne and Paloma discuss the exhaustion that can come with being a nurturer – whether you’ve got children or not. They also talk about how over-achievers are often preoccupied with being seen as everything – smart, funny, caring, sexy, independent – and why it’s too much for one person to take on. How can we learn to ask for and accept help from others? Paloma opens up about why she chose to carry on working while miscarrying, and the pressure that miscarriage put on her relationship. Plus, why does Paloma really hate the expression “you’ve got this”? Paloma’s book – MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love, and F*ckery – is published by Happy Place Books, and is out now.CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains frank chat about miscarriage, so do take care while listening. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fearne’s written a novel! It’s called Scripted, and it tells the story of Jade – a thirty-something who, out on a run, stumbles upon a script that seems to predict likely scenarios and relationship dynamics in her life. Having been given a sneak peek at her future, can Jade now speak up, and rewrite her own destiny? You’ve been DMing and voicenoting Fearne, asking her questions about the writing process, who inspired her characters, and whether she’s included her wealth of mental health knowledge in the novel... Plus, there’s an exclusive listen to the entire first chapter of the Scripted audiobook! Scripted is out now. The audiobook, read by Erin Doherty, and brought to you by Penguin is also available: https://adbl.co/3U7EP1P  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How big do you let yourself dream? BBC broadcaster Ashley John-Baptise grew up in care, and knows all too well that love can help cultivate aspiration. In this chat with Fearne, Ashley talks through his childhood, from being bounced between foster parents and care homes, to ending up with a history degree from Cambridge University. He explains how he became a colder and more detached child as protection against constant rejection. Ashley also talks about the very real impact not having access to touch and attachment to a primary care giver can have on a person’s future outcomes. Fearne and Ashley chat about the huge influence kind and persistent adults can have over a child’s life. You don’t have to be a parent to positively impact a child; teaching, mentoring, and community work will make a huge difference to an individual, and as a result, society too... Ashley’s memoir, Looked After, is out on June 13th. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being deep in the middle of therapy can be draining. Ultimate Fighting Championship athlete Molly McCann has been working hard to understand her more toxic traits and behaviours, and her vulnerability has made her a stronger fighter. In this chat with Fearne, Molly talks about how she’s learnt not to fear failure, and how to overcome self-sabotage, as well as the very physical way her trauma has been released. She explains how she knew she wanted to break her family’s pattern of addiction too. Fearne and Molly also chat about the movement towards female athletes taking their menstrual cycle into consideration during training, and the fickleness of fandom – how we put people on a pedestal only to tear them down again. How can we learn to seek internal rather than external validation? Molly McCann returns to the Octagon for UFC® 304: Edwards vs Muhammad 2. Tickets for UFC® 304 go on sale at 10am BST on Friday, 7th June via Ticketmaster.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sociopathy should be understood as a spectrum disorder. It’s a disorder that affects roughly 5% of the population – similar to the number of people who have depression or anxiety. Patric Gagne is a sociopath. In this chat with Fearne, Patric explains the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. Sociopaths have access to inherent emotions like sadness and happiness, but struggle with learned social emotions like remorse, guilt, empathy, and love. There’s also a huge feeling of apathy for Patric, which in the past led her to anti-social behaviours like stealing cars and breaking into houses. Fearne also points out the benefits of not caring what others think of you; while she people pleases a lot, she can see the freedom in having a lack of a filter. They chat about how to function in a relationship when you have to communicate any kind of mental disorder or illness too. Patric’s memoir, Sociopath, is this month’s Happy Place Book Club read. Come and be part of the Book Club discussions on Instagram @happyplacebookclub. Sociopath is out now. Listen to Book Club Meets: Jo Cheetham Listen to Book Club Meets: Jennie GodfreyThanks to Bluebird (an imprint of Pan Macmillan) for the Sociopath audiobook extract.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nobody’s worse off than you; everyone just experiences things differently. This is what 27 year old Ashleigh has come to understand about her own trauma. Previously, she minimised her own experiences, thinking it can’t be that bad, but learnt that until she acknowledged her own pain she couldn’t move forward. In this chat with Fearne, Ashleigh explains how PTSD led her to develop facial tics and a stammer, isolating her personally and professionally. They talk about how to cope when those around you don’t understand what you’re going through, plus, how the Prince’s Trust have given her game-changing support to start her own business helping others with mental health struggles. Fearne is a Goodwill Ambassador for Mental Health and Wellbeing for The Prince’s Trust. They help support young people aged 11-30, and believe that every single young person should have the chance to succeed, no matter their background, or their personal challenges. They offer support into education, training, and jobs; that’s exactly what they did for Ashleigh. As well as catching up on Ashleigh’s progress, Fearne has a very special surprise for her at the end of the episode... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How’s your mental health doing today? Do you ever wish people understood what was actually going on in your mind? As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, Fearne looks back at some of the conversations she’s had on Happy Place that shine a light on particular mental health conditions. There’s OCD with Tuppence Middleton, cyclothymia with Matt Edmondson, and psychosis with David Harewood. Plus, neuroscientist TJ Power chats about how to increase serotonin levels, and sleep physiologist Stephanie Romiszewski talks through how to combat insomnia. Hopefully you’ll find a moment’s solace from connecting over stories you might recognise if you have any of these mental health conditions yourself, and if you don’t... you may well know someone who does... CONTENT WARNING: as David recalls racist abuse, this episode contains offensive and distressing language. Watch Stephanie Romiszewski Listen to Tuppence Middleton Listen to Matt Edmondson Listen to David Harewood Listen to TJ Power Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It can be tiring being anything but yourself. Musician Zayn has learnt to lean into what really makes him content. In this chat with Fearne, Zayn talks through the quiet lifestyle he loves in Pennsylvania: painting, being outdoors, spending time with his daughter, and staying off his phone. He also explains how fatherhood has changed him, whether he's the parent he thought he would be, and what impact the new depths of emotion he feels has had on his music. They chat about how to find the balance between sharing enough information with others to really connect on a deep level, while keeping some things private just for you. Plus, Zayn gives Fearne a very thoughtful gift... Zayn’s new album, ROOM UNDER THE STAIRS is out now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you turn to food for comfort? Actor Rebel Wilson spent a lifetime using food to numb herself from difficult emotions. In this chat with Fearne, Rebel shares why she felt safe using her body as a barrier to true intimacy, not having sex until she was 35. Knowing that she was medically obese, Rebel made 2020 her ‘year of health’, but it was working through her trauma that made the most difference, not a specific diet or exercise plan. Fearne also shares the realities of her bulimia, including the secrecy and isolation that can come with shame. Rebel talks about feeling like a ‘loser’ at school and making a concerted effort to become popular through speaking to five new people each day, and being a part of theatre and sports teams for connection. Plus, Rebel explains why it felt so important to speak her truth about what happened on certain sets in her memoir... Rebel’s book, Rebel Rising, is out now.Listen to How To Laugh When You’ve Been To Hell And Back Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.