S5E12 - Firsts Vol.5: The Art of Cruising

Enjoy this bonus episode of the podcast series Nuances: Our Asian Stories.  Hosted by Lazou, Nuance's latest season is titled Queering Premodern Asia and each episode explores different aspects of sexual diversity in premodern Asia with commentary and personal stories from guest scholars and artists.  Lazou reached out recently and, because our podcasts have a lot of themes in common, we decided to share an episode of each other’s pod with our listeners.  Just so you know, Lazou’s structure of the episodes: first a guest scholar talks about some really interesting queer history of ancient Asian cultures and then, after that, a guest talks about their own personal history and experiences. As you may have guessed, this is my favorite part of the episode. This first episode of the Queering Premodern Asia series is titled “In search of Prince Charming…and his King!” and the first half is full of swoon-worthy love stories of gorgeous male lovers of kings and saints!  Then there is a conversation between Lazou and guest Edmond Chan, a native of Texas who is also a professional musician and scholar. Edmond's conversation with Lazou is really real and raw and it sounds a lot like a Fruitbowl interview so check it out and, if you like the show, subscribe to their feed! Here’s a LIST of their queer-themed episodes! Fruitbowl will return in September with new Season 5 episodes. Hope you’re having a great summer!  xo Dave.

You graduated high school. You packed up all your things and you’re moving into a dorm room or your first apartment. Finally, you have the chance to define life on your own terms. For many queer people, leaving our family and getting our own place is the chance to finally seek out the experiences we’ve always wanted but weren’t allowed to have when every move, every decision we made was scrutinized by the family that we grew up with.  In this final volume of our “Firsts” series we hear from Fruitbowl contributors about a variety of firsts: first “intimacies,” first boyfriends, first gay bars, first kisses; coming out, going in again, coming out a second time; all the things we wanted to do for so long and finally got the chance.  List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: 1.Tai (S3E7) - “Well, I wanted this and it’s stupid intense.” 2. Adam (S2E3) - Visiting The Cock. 3. Karilla (S3E15) - First time with a guy. First time with a girl. 4. Aditya (S2E2) - Coming out, going in and coming out again. 5. Ari (S4E3) - First time with college girlfriend. 6. Carlos (S1E2) - First boyfriend Kevin/Kathy. 7. Breona (S4E18) - Pregnant with Baby Jesus? 8. Josh (S3E1) - The Hot Barista. 9. James (S1E2) - Twizzler Nibs. 10. Andre (S3E17) - Sober Vegan Pride Party for 2. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Danny Tayara edited the music and final mix. Thanks Danny! Fruitbowl will be on hiatus this August but will return with fresh episodes in September. Have a great rest of your summer everyone! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

These days, thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to hook up; but no app can provide the rush you feel when you lock eyes with someone in person and you know, without any verbal communication, that there is a mutual interest. In this episode, our interviewees share first-time stories of cruising as well as other anecdotes about the art of cruising and what we’ve lost now that it has become less common. List of contributors and links to their full episodes: Justin (S4E1): The basics of cruising; Nathan (S3E4): Flipping a B in Glendale; Patrick (S3E12): The benefits of in-person hookups; Nayland (S2E4): Cruising at the Adonis; Stephen (S2E10): Cruising at the David; Jerry (S1E4): The Piers; Stephen (S2E10): The Piers, The Trucks, The Rambles; Nathan S. (S3E13): Grand Central Hotel, second floor bathroom; Adé (S2E11): Denver’s Tabor Center Food Court. Tom (S1E3): Anchorage’s Diamond Mall; John C. (S4E17): The mall bathroom; Dave (S4E15): Wichita’s Mall Bathrooms, Public Parks and first person description of an assault (listener discretion advised.); Dan (S3E16): A successful first flirtation; Jason (S1E1) - White Rock Lake bathroom. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

Let’s end Pride 2024 with a bang! For this episode, Dave is taking a break from his series on First Times and he’s selected a few of his favorite moments when interviewees shared profound thoughts about queerness, community, identity and, of course, there are a lot of things to say about sex. So put your rubbers on because tea will be spilled, mics will be dropped and truth bombs will be detonated. Here’s links to each contributor’s individual episode: Jason (S1E1): Don’t waste your time on the chase. Sam (S1E1): I could be a gay man. Jerusha (S2E1): Not trying to sell myself. Adam (S2E3): The bottom is in control. Ji (S2E5): You’re enough. Joshua G. (S2E7): Have more sex. Drew (S4E4): Big bellies at LA’s Eagle. Isabella (S2E9): Your body is your own. George (S1E7): Ask for what you want. Adé (S2E11): I believe in love. Josh (S3E1): Give yourself permission. Karilla (S3E15): Self love includes body acceptance. Erik (S3E9): Find your tribe. Mike (S3E19): Your race does not determine your preferences. Saira (S3E21): It’s okay to need people. Debra (S4E8): Wear clean underwear and other advice. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

There’s a tendency to devalue first times that come as a result of the internet. There’s no meet-cutes; no love at first sight. The getting-to-know-you window happens on your device. Most of them are one-offs we will never see ever again. But, like it or not, this is the way most of us find first time partners now though there are signs that dating apps are losing users and people are starting to rely more on in-person opportunities. The most compelling part of first time internet hookups is when we finally act on the desire that burns deep inside of us and we decide to finally follow through. Expectation collides with reality. We might meet sex partners who have the potential to excite us and fulfill all of our fantasies or they could be spectacular flame outs that send us into shame spirals. Most hookups land somewhere between these two extremes. We just never really know which it will be. Either way, they’re proof of the boundless optimism and fierce bravery of queer people. Section 1: 1975 Newspaper Personal Ad - Mike B. (S4E10) Section 2: Campus Intranet Bisexual Bear Chef - Stephen (S2E10) Section 3: Chat Rooms. Hairy Gay Florida Hookup - Alex (S3E10): Fixing a Daddy’s Sound Card - Tom (S1E3); Ann Arbor Pizza Date - Nathan (S3E4); Cemetery Hookup - Shavit (S3E8); India Chats with Portland, Maine - Aditya (S2E2); Richie Makes a Housecall - Mike (S3E19); A Man in a Van - Patrick (S3E12). Section 4: Anime Predator - Isabella (S2E9). Listener discretion advised. Section 5: Online Personals. This is a Hand - Tai (S3E7); Cis Straight Dude Caesar Salad - Lee (S1E4); Best Western on Denny - Ryan (S1E11); A Study in Two Daddies - Gabe (S1E8). This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Enter code “FRUITY” when you buy tickets online for half off Northwest Film Forum’s screenings of I SAW THE TV GLOW and BORN IN FLAMES this month. And remember to reserve your free ticket for the secret pride screening Thursday June 27 at 7pm.  https://nwfilmforum.org/series/pride-month-2024/ Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

As I was building this second high school hookup episode, I realized that many of the stories have striking similarities. People who grew up thousands of miles apart, often in different decades, had similar coming of age experiences. So I decided to create an entire episode featuring story pairs that are like fun-house reflections of each other; further proof that, even though queer adolescence is often full of deep insecurity and loneliness, there is likely someone out there who is going through the same thing you are. Here’s a list of excerpts featured in this episode along with a link to their full length episode. Section 1: Camping Adventures. Jon (S1E12) & Adam T. (S3E20) Section 2: Exploring communities outside of high school. Dan (S3E16) & Salvador (S3E6) Section 3: Playful flirtations evolve into something more. Anders (S2E6) & Saira (S3E21) Section 4: Bad boys who feel good. Kenny (S4E6) & Andrew (S4E11) Section 5: Falling for step-siblings & discouraging hookups. Steven M. (S4E14) & Donovan (S3E18) Section 6: Transitioning from high school to college. Justin (S4E1) & Paul (S3E5) This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl. Bayley Boecker edited the music and final mix. Thanks Bayley! Tickets and screening times for Fruitbowl & Northwest Film Forum’s pride month film series Time (Dis)Oriented: Radical Queer Pasts, Presents, and Futures are at https://nwfilmforum.org/series/pride-month-2024/ Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

For queer people, our sexuality is not something that just switches on one day. It reveals itself over time - usually during adolescence - and the experience is often internal and private. Our first explorations into physical intimacy with other people often serve as a kind of test to see if we like it and help us start to define the role that sex will play in our lives as adults. High school is “go time” for these explorations and life quickly becomes a steaming stew of hormones, insecurities and hurt feelings. These first experimentations with friends or acquaintances and people that we know happen to many of us, yet we rarely share these stories with each other as adults. In this first of four episodes dedicated to first times, Dave collects stories from thirteen different interviewees whose first time was with people they already knew.  Next up will be another high school episode followed by one about internet hookups and a fourth “first time” episode that collects stories about old-school “cruising.”  So prepare yourself because things are going to get … awkward. Here’s a list of excerpts featured in this episode along with a link to their full length episode. Section 1: AFAB First Times. Ji (S2E5) First PIV; Isabella (S2E9) German Boyfriend, Sleepovers With Open Door; Lizzie (S4E13) First Time Boring Boyfriend, First Time Gym Girl.  Section 2: Cis Guys High School Flame Outs. Jason (S1E1) Friends with Benefits; Drew (S4E4) Horniness Wins; Zachery (S4E16) Owning It; Puddin (S4E9) Just the One Time. Section 3: First times with different bodies. RC (S2E8) Best Friend’s Girlfriend Fix Up, Home Alone Bunk Bed; Elliott (S3E11) Exploring both Male and Female bodies.  Section 4: Alan (S3E2) The Secret Fort. Listener discretion advised. Section 5: Sex in the Wild. Jerusha (S2E1) The Handicap Stall; Anders (S2E6) Home-Coming in the Pool; Pete (S1E13) Steamy Car Threeway in the Parking Lot. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of IG: @Paperwombat.

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Who was your first crush? That first intense infatuation with someone special? A famous actor? A singer? An Athlete? Or was it someone you knew like another student at your school, a hot neighbor or a teacher who gave you extra attention? Whoever it was, first crushes are often the first indication that we have queer tendencies. This can be validating but also a little scary. In case you’re a size queen and want an extra long version of this episode, our Patreon subscribers will get exclusive access to the UNCUT version of this episode that is 30 minutes longer and includes every single response to Dave’s questions about crushes. Learn more at Fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Dave did not include each person’s personal introductions in this episode, but here is a list with links to their full length episodes in case you want to learn more.   So sit back and enjoy this Crush Parade! Cold Open; Anders (S2E6) Robin Hood & Maid Marion; Jerry (S1E4) Dukes of Hazard; Lee (S1E4) Fat Camp Love. Section 1: Fictional Characters; Justin (S4E1) Superhero Nipples and Bulges; Isabella (S2E9) Tommy the Green Power Ranger; Mike (S3E19) Tommy & Chris O’Donnell. Section 2: Famous People; Carlos (S1E2) Peter Lupus; Aditya (S2E2) Tom Selleck; Breona (S4E18) Jonathan Taylor Thomas; RC (S2E8) Buffy; Karilla (S3E15) Sarah Michelle Gellar; Dan (S3E16) - Mary Stewart Masterson; Sam (S1E1) Leo and Johnny; Ari (S4E3) Mariah. Section 3: Personal Crushes; Alan (S3E2) The Boy With the Earring; Ji (S2E5) Playing Hercules; Karilla (S3E15) Hot for Teacher; Debra (S4E8) Flute Girl; Dave (S4E15) Son of a Preacher Man; Saira (S3E21) Surprise Pansexuality; Nathan S. (S3E13) Quarterback Fantasies; Donovan (S3E18) The Dork. Section 4: Coworkers, Acquaintances; Debra (S4E8) Beth’s Abortion; Tyler (S1E6) McDonald’s Manager. This episode was edited by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Hosted by Ryan Weadon who also did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat. The artwork for this episode was created by Alegra Figeroid.

Help support independent queer media. Get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with more than 30 extra minutes of stories by joining Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Note: the descriptions of this episode were altered to avoid censorship by the major podcast platforms. America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of "self-love" is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years, coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.   "Self-love" is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about "self-love" and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations. Here's a list of the interviewees whose stories are featured along with links to their original, full interviews. Cold Open: Sam (S1E1) School yard talk.  Section 1: "Self-love" as experienced by AFAB interviewees (Assigned Female at Birth). Anders (S2E6), Elliott (S3E11), Isabella (S2E9), Ji (S2E5). Check out my short film, MORE THAN A FEELING. https://vimeo.com/790585520 Section 2: Furry Innovations. Dan (S3E16) Homemade female anatomy; Karilla (S3E15) CD Rack Love. Section 3: Stuffed Animal Lovin’. Andrew (S4E11) My Little Buddy; RC (S2E8) Teddy Bear. Section 4: Swimming Pool Jets. Breona (S4E18) Like a little starfish. Section 5: With a Little Help From Friends. Mike B. (S4E10) Friendly Circle. Section 6: Puddin’s Cousin. Puddin (S4E9).Section 7: "Self-love" and self-discovery. Adam (S2E3) Bullying, self-acceptance and self-love; Adam T. (S3E20) sometimes the journey is better than the destination. This episode was edited by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Music editing and final mix by Ryan Weadon. Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat. The artwork for this episode was created by Alegra Figeroid.

Patreon members get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with 20 extra minutes of stories. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Many of us grew up in families and communities that never once acknowledged the existence of queer people: no exposure to queer authors, filmmakers, artists. Pornography is often the first media we see that acknowledges queer sexuality. In this episode, you will hear stories of pornography found under rocks, in dumpsters, behind medicine cabinets. Grainy, distorted porn that emerged from scrambled cable channels. Porn that validated feelings that may have been impossible to articulate. Porn that provided a starting point to begin deciding what turns us on and what doesn’t. Here’s a list of the excerpts featured in this episode with links to the original, full length episodes: Section 1: The Porn Is Coming From Inside The House. Jason (S1E1) Dad’s Secret Porn Stash; Lee (S1E4) Medicine Cabinet Secrets; Section 2: Finding Porn. Alex (S3E10) Under A Rock; Adam T. (S3E20) Toni Braxton Did That?; Section 3: Erotic “Literature.” Kenny (S4E6) Michael & Michelle; Lilian (S4E5) Sexy Sci-Fi; Salvador (S3E6) Lingonberries; Section 4: Porn Theaters. Nayland (S2E4) Times Square Memories; Section 5: VHS Home Porn. James (S1E2) Daisy Chain Pool Party; Joshua (S2E7) Breaking & Entering; RC (S2E8) Amazon Girls of Go Go; Isabella (S2E9) High School Porn Vendor; Mikey (S1E10) Catholic School 8th Grade Grad Porn Party; Jerry (S1E4) Scrambled Grainy Porn Viewing; Jaelynn (S1E5) Emanuelle; Salvador (S3E6) Vegas Viewing. Section 6: The Internet Revolution. Sam (S1E1) Family Computer = No Privacy; Ryan (S1E11) Sex Can Be Anything; Aditya (S2E2) School Computer Porn; Breona (S4E18) Blame Little Brother; Gabe (S1E8) Three Strikes; Nathan S. (S3E13) Beware of White House Porn; Mike (S3E19) Finding Sister’s View History. This episode was edited & mixed by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat.