Fruitbowl: An Oral History of Queer Sex

It’s tempting for queer people to want to conceal our kinks in an effort to be more acceptable to straight society. Acting like vanilla heteros is just one way to live in peace during this era of government-sanctioned hostility towards queer people. But bible thumping conservatives don’t really differentiate between kinky and non-kinky queer people. So we may as well let our freak flags fly. In this first episode of a two part series on kink, we’ll hear a variety of stories about kink discovery, kink education, kink acceptance and first-person descriptions of amazing communities and relationships that grew from a shared interest of kink. Below is a list of contributors for this episode along with a brief description of their segment and a link to their full length episodes. Saira (S3E21) - The go-to, kinky sex-pert; Anders (S2E6) - discovering kink classes and communities; Adam (S2E3) - pixxing down my throat; Nayland (S2E4) - “I’m too old to sleep with boring people”; Saira (S3E21) - Impact play at theater camp; Paul (S3E5) - The origin story of Rain City Jacks; Anders (S2E6) - Public play, bathhouses and house parties; Carlos (S1E2) - playing dress up with “straight” guys; Drew (S4E4) - Embracing men’s imperfect bodies; Ryan C. (S3E14) - Describing Gainers; Drew (S4E4) - Big Body at the Eagle; Anders (S2E6) - the importance of aftercare; Saira (S3E21) - breath play and safety; Tyler (S1E6) - old-timey white boxer briefs; Drew (S4E4) - embracing a new body; Saira (S3E21) - the challenges of being an experienced BDSM top. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod. Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Religion has a terrible track record when it comes to queer members and issues: condemnation, rejection and often, in the case of the Catholic church, exploitation and excommunication. While not all religions are anti-LGBT, most everyone I interviewed for Fruitbowl had negative experiences with their faith, especially in their coming of age years when we didn’t have the agency to decide for ourselves if religion was something we actually wanted to participate in. Instead, it was thrust upon us and, as a result, many queer people became disenfranchised and suspicious of faith based institutions and the many self-righteous followers who feel empowered to judge us. Editor’s Note: not all the interviewees identify themselves for every anecdote that is shared in this episode, so here is a comprehensive list of all the featured interviewees along with some description of each of their sections: Andre (S3E17) - “I can’t lie to God!”; Alan (S3E2) - Growing up in the Cult of Mormon. Gabe (S1E8) - Freezing time in church; Puddin (S4E9) - Gay is the ultimate sin; Josh (S3E1) - Machismo, Christianity and self-punishment; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Christianity in the Egyptian-American community in New Jersey; Ari (S4E3) - The perfect Christian family…not.; John C. (S4E17) - Hot for preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - A letter to myself & my Vaseline jar; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Self love and Mr. Smiley; Dave (S4E15) - Cruising after choir practice; Elliott (S3E11) - Falling in love at church; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon missionary and The Dragon; Puddin (S4E9) - The Campus Crusade Leader and his Accountability Partner; Alan (S3E2) - Breaking the BYU “Honor” code; Puddin (S4E9) - Exodus and the “ex-gay” community; Alan (S3E2) - Saved by my theater family; Puddin (S4E9) - Saved by Doubting David; John C. (S4E17) - Massaging the megachurch preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - Dad’s funeral; Jason (S1E1) - Overnight with the wrestler from church. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

To be trans in America right now is to live day to day knowing that your very existence is considered a provocation, a threat. But for the next hour and 13 minutes, I invite you to leave all the chaos and vitriol of our current political climate behind and listen to these trans and non-binary interviewees share some of my favorite Fruitbowl stories about identity, community, sex and intimacy. Not just trans stories. Human stories. Just listen and I can guarantee you’ll find something you identify with. You’ll notice that many of the interviewees describe very specific physical details about their gender transitions and how sex changed for them after their bodies healed. Most of these stories came up in the part of the interview where I encouraged the interviewees to go off script and talk about any topic of their choice. The fact that they trusted me enough to talk about intensely personal subjects so that I could share it with my listeners is profoundly meaningful to me. I knew a long time ago that I would eventually want to collect these stories in just one episode and now, finally, here it is. Here’s a list of the different interviewees with links to their full-length interviews.  Sam (S1E1) - The Move™; Anders (S2E6) - Notes on a transition and kink; Elliott (S3E11) - Getting to know slutty Elliott and other reflections on hooking up with cis dudes;  RC (S2E8) - “I did that for the D?!”; Adé (S2E11) - Sex is great but Love is greater; Andre (S3E17) - Notes on cruising bathhouses while trans; Lilian (S4E5) - Transition revisions and sex; Ari (S4E3) - Becoming The Beast. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Love is complicated and for queer people, it's even more so.  Queer love rarely resembles traditional romantic stories. And while our representation is getting better, the lack of realistic queer adult love stories can make sorting through those complicated emotions and feelings a struggle. Many of this episode’s stories describe a certain kind of gratitude for the experience of first love, oftentimes the interviewees describe becoming close friends after their relationships ended. If a romantic bond eventually dissolves, we still see a reflection of ourselves in that other person; a recognition of all the struggle, bravery and honesty that it took to get to a place where we can admit that this is who I am and this is how I express love.  Ari (S4E3) - First love on the lunch shift; Steven M. (S4E14)  - Falling for the troublemaker & “Are you a rice queen?”; Adam T. (S3E20) - Practicing piano & learning how to love; Josh (S3E1) - An older, wiser first love; Breona (S4E18) - obsessed with love; Joshua G. (S2E7) - Learning about love and what not to do; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon love in the Inland Empire; Justin (S4E1) - Punk Love at the urinal; Adam (S2E3) - Sex is easy, Love is difficult; Mike (S3E19) - Love & Polyamory. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult hormones, it's no wonder so many of us find ourselves falling in love for the first time at college. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Shavit (S3E8) - the hike from hell in Nepal;  Jerusha (S2E1) - Freshmen Orientations;  Dave (S4E15) - Love at first puke; Paul (S3E5) - Frustrations with JB; Karilla (S3E15) - Falling for the F Boy; Drew (S4E4) - Exes dating Exes; Lilian (S4E5) - Gender and Polyamory explorations; Donovan (S3E18) - The Best Friend, the Sailor and the blindfold; Aditya (S2E2) - Professor Bear. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

This episode is the first of a three part series about first love. Specifically, the messy, inconvenient, heartbreaking chaos that first love often inspires for people in high school as well as all the sweetness, optimism and exciting feelings of discovery both about ourselves and that special someone. Mix in the big feelings of emerging sexuality and you can understand why so many of these interviewees remember this time in their lives like it was yesterday. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Alan (S3E2) - First Love in the tenor section; Zachery (S4E16) - Never got to see that D; Ji (S2E5) - A moment of blooming on the beach; Patrick (S3E12) - Love in the hot tub; Deaunte (S3E3) - Finding love on the party line, souf end style; Erik (S3E9) - Best friend shut down; Kenny (S4E6) -  This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

Enjoy this bonus episode of the podcast series Nuances: Our Asian Stories.  Hosted by Lazou, Nuance's latest season is titled Queering Premodern Asia and each episode explores different aspects of sexual diversity in premodern Asia with commentary and personal stories from guest scholars and artists.  Lazou reached out recently and, because our podcasts have a lot of themes in common, we decided to share an episode of each other’s pod with our listeners.  Just so you know, Lazou’s structure of the episodes: first a guest scholar talks about some really interesting queer history of ancient Asian cultures and then, after that, a guest talks about their own personal history and experiences. As you may have guessed, this is my favorite part of the episode. This first episode of the Queering Premodern Asia series is titled “In search of Prince Charming…and his King!” and the first half is full of swoon-worthy love stories of gorgeous male lovers of kings and saints!  Then there is a conversation between Lazou and guest Edmond Chan, a native of Texas who is also a professional musician and scholar. Edmond's conversation with Lazou is really real and raw and it sounds a lot like a Fruitbowl interview so check it out and, if you like the show, subscribe to their feed! Here’s a LIST of their queer-themed episodes! Fruitbowl will return in September with new Season 5 episodes. Hope you’re having a great summer!  xo Dave.

You graduated high school. You packed up all your things and you’re moving into a dorm room or your first apartment. Finally, you have the chance to define life on your own terms. For many queer people, leaving our family and getting our own place is the chance to finally seek out the experiences we’ve always wanted but weren’t allowed to have when every move, every decision we made was scrutinized by the family that we grew up with.  In this final volume of our “Firsts” series we hear from Fruitbowl contributors about a variety of firsts: first “intimacies,” first boyfriends, first gay bars, first kisses; coming out, going in again, coming out a second time; all the things we wanted to do for so long and finally got the chance.  List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: 1.Tai (S3E7) - “Well, I wanted this and it’s stupid intense.” 2. Adam (S2E3) - Visiting The Cock. 3. Karilla (S3E15) - First time with a guy. First time with a girl. 4. Aditya (S2E2) - Coming out, going in and coming out again. 5. Ari (S4E3) - First time with college girlfriend. 6. Carlos (S1E2) - First boyfriend Kevin/Kathy. 7. Breona (S4E18) - Pregnant with Baby Jesus? 8. Josh (S3E1) - The Hot Barista. 9. James (S1E2) - Twizzler Nibs. 10. Andre (S3E17) - Sober Vegan Pride Party for 2. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Danny Tayara edited the music and final mix. Thanks Danny! Fruitbowl will be on hiatus this August but will return with fresh episodes in September. Have a great rest of your summer everyone! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

These days, thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to hook up; but no app can provide the rush you feel when you lock eyes with someone in person and you know, without any verbal communication, that there is a mutual interest. In this episode, our interviewees share first-time stories of cruising as well as other anecdotes about the art of cruising and what we’ve lost now that it has become less common. List of contributors and links to their full episodes: Justin (S4E1): The basics of cruising; Nathan (S3E4): Flipping a B in Glendale; Patrick (S3E12): The benefits of in-person hookups; Nayland (S2E4): Cruising at the Adonis; Stephen (S2E10): Cruising at the David; Jerry (S1E4): The Piers; Stephen (S2E10): The Piers, The Trucks, The Rambles; Nathan S. (S3E13): Grand Central Hotel, second floor bathroom; Adé (S2E11): Denver’s Tabor Center Food Court. Tom (S1E3): Anchorage’s Diamond Mall; John C. (S4E17): The mall bathroom; Dave (S4E15): Wichita’s Mall Bathrooms, Public Parks and first person description of an assault (listener discretion advised.); Dan (S3E16): A successful first flirtation; Jason (S1E1) - White Rock Lake bathroom. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

Let’s end Pride 2024 with a bang! For this episode, Dave is taking a break from his series on First Times and he’s selected a few of his favorite moments when interviewees shared profound thoughts about queerness, community, identity and, of course, there are a lot of things to say about sex. So put your rubbers on because tea will be spilled, mics will be dropped and truth bombs will be detonated. Here’s links to each contributor’s individual episode: Jason (S1E1): Don’t waste your time on the chase. Sam (S1E1): I could be a gay man. Jerusha (S2E1): Not trying to sell myself. Adam (S2E3): The bottom is in control. Ji (S2E5): You’re enough. Joshua G. (S2E7): Have more sex. Drew (S4E4): Big bellies at LA’s Eagle. Isabella (S2E9): Your body is your own. George (S1E7): Ask for what you want. Adé (S2E11): I believe in love. Josh (S3E1): Give yourself permission. Karilla (S3E15): Self love includes body acceptance. Erik (S3E9): Find your tribe. Mike (S3E19): Your race does not determine your preferences. Saira (S3E21): It’s okay to need people. Debra (S4E8): Wear clean underwear and other advice. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.