FAF Mortem: Thirst & Bone Tomahawk

Returning director, Henry Selick (Monkeybone, Nightmare Before Christmas) hits us this week with the spooky stop-motion, modern classic, Coraline. Adapted from the Neil Gaiman book of the same name, we follow a girl of the same name into the perfect reality she'd always dreamed of. But with all perfection, usually comes a heavy price. In Coraline's case, perfection might just cost her her soul. Ooooohhhhh *waggles fingers all spookily*

This month we finally talk about America's Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock. Not to be confused with America's Other Sweetheart, Brendan Fraser. You can tell them apart by seeing that they are two entirely different people. We cover 1995's wholesome, holiday comedy, While You Were Sleeping and 2007's sad trainwreck, Premonition. It's dumb, but luckily, it's also needlessly confusing! Listen as we put the puzzle pieces together to fabricate a script worthy of Sandy, and While You Were Sleeping's breakout star, Joe Jr. 

This time around, we discuss the 2012 action cult hit, Dredd. It's the directorial debut for now notable director, Alex Garland (Ex Machina, Annihilation, Devs), and what a debut it is. It's corny, it's violent, it's style is unapologetic and confident, and above all else, it's use of slow-mo might be the most appropriate implementation in any movie ever. It's one of Brandon's favorite action movies, so he couldn't help but prattle on about it for a while. 

Another bloody double feature, and no, I'm not British. *Pause for laughter* This time around, we dimmed the lights and put on some Burt Bacharach because we get romantic with Park Chan Wook's vampire love story, Thirst. After that, we take a trip to the old west to save a damsel in distress from a tribe of cannibalistic troglodytes in S. Craig Zahler's, Bone Tomahawk. 

We made it to the dirty 30's! Rarely do we get a competent sequel to a slasher film almost 30 years after the original, but that seems to be the hot thing to do lately. People like to say that movies like 1992's Candyman are more relevant now than ever, but the truth of the matter is, things just haven't changed much in the last 30 years. That's why getting a reboot makes so much sense. 

One of the most seasoned and hardest working actors in the game, Samuel L. Jackson is coming at you hot with America's first introduction to satire, Snakes on a Plane. A movie destined to be panned by critics and time. But we couldn't do him dirty like that, so we also cover the wonderful 1998 thriller, The Negotiator. I know what you're thinking, how do you combine Snakes and Negotiating? Well, if you find out let us know because we have no idea. 

In honor of the release of Squid Game, we decided to go back to the source and talk about 2000's Battle Royale. Kids murdering kids and two dumb Americans pronouncing Japanese names wrong for an hour and a half. What more could you want? 

Have you ever loved someone so much that you couldn't let them go? That's the real story this week, as we discuss love, and how far those things will take someone that might be predisposed to murder and mutilation. 

This week, we discuss the 1979 cult classic 'The Warriors', almost entirely while doing pitch perfect New York accents. Every character sounds the same as far as we know and you can't tell us otherwise. Because the episode is already recorded and uploaded. 

Before he was a pirate, Tim Burton's crush, Johnny Depp, was a cocaine kingpin and a C-Movie film director reaching for the stars... What happens when you take a movie about selling cocaine and a movie about making a movie and put them together? Well. You get a movie about making a movie about selling cocaine of course! It's as simple as that.