Smoking the Drapes

It’s Halloween, and the dress code was simple. Not everyone followed it. Some of us came dressed for the occasion, some of us came with excuses, and one of us wore a bedsheet with two eyeholes and expected a costume contest trophy. What follows is a strange trip through the movies that ruined us, the ones we’re still too scared to finish, and a few strong opinions nobody asked for. Along the way, there are old fears, new obsessions, and at least one tangent that goes somewhere it really shouldn’t. Some topics are scary. Some are just uncomfortable. Some are a little of both. All of it is a little spooky, a little unhinged, and fairly harmless. Take a break from being smart. Lock the doors. Press play. Apex NC Tour of Frights

Five friends tackle heist movies and immediately agree on one thing: Mission Impossible is terrible. Beyond that, it's chaos. They defend Jackie Brown's brilliance, debate whether Snatch is just a Guy Ritchie movie remake, and James drops some knowledge about his take on Las Vegas. Somewhere between roasting Tom Cruise's height, arguing Julia Roberts vs. Sandra Bullock, and spiraling into stories about Oregon Trail, they might actually make a compelling case for what makes a heist movie work, or they might just make you laugh too hard to care.

Andrew and James bring in Billy and Fast Eddy for a full lineup of sports movie talk, and things go sideways almost immediately. What starts as a debate over Kingpin and Foxcatcher turns into an Oakland A's history lesson, a Tony Gwynn stat that will break your brain, and a surprisingly deep dive into a censored line in Major League that never worked. Moneyball gets picked apart, Jerry Maguire quotes fly around the room, and somewhere in there the guys land on what has happened to the NBA with load management and tanking. Then it turns into a real conversation about sports betting, in game odds, and how fast that habit can sneak up on you. This show still doesn't have a point, but at least this week you'll learn some trivia.

Andrew and James are back with a comedy podcast episode that covers a suspicious dad, a Christopher Nolan movie that somehow will be even longer, giant robots with unresolved personal issues, and a government infrastructure project that appears to have been invented on a coffee break. This is what happens when two people have access to a microphone and no adult supervision. Funny, weird, and completely off the rails, just the way we like it.

Andrew and James dig into 1970s American television. The golden age of shows that had no business being as good as they were, and plenty that had no business existing at all. This comedy podcast episode is a loving, slightly unhinged tribute to the decade that gave us wood paneling, questionable fashion, and TV writing that somehow still holds up. If you grew up glued to the set or just want to understand what people mean when they talk about 70s TV, this funny conversation is for you.

Will we have an early spring or six more weeks of Winter? It's Groundhog Day, and Andrew and James have questions, mostly about why we let a rodent run our meteorological lives. In this comedy podcast episode, the guys break down the strange, wonderful tradition of Punxsutawney Phil, shadow-based forecasting, and whether any of this actually predicts the weather (spoiler: it does not). Funny, absurd, and weirdly informative, this is the Groundhog Day discussion nobody asked for but absolutely needed.

Andrew and James take on travel; the good, the bad, and the deeply unnecessary. In this comedy podcast episode, the guys debate the best and worst ways to get from Point A to Point B, including a deep dive into road trips, questionable transportation decisions, and why bicycles are either the greatest invention in human history or a death wish on wheels. A funny, rambling conversation about getting around that goes everywhere except on schedule.

Andrew and James review the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Hollywood's most gloriously unhinged attempt to turn a beloved video game into a gritty action film nobody asked for. In this comedy podcast episode, the guys try to make sense of Bob Hoskins as Mario, Dennis Hopper as a lizard king, and a script that appears to have been written by someone who had only heard Super Mario Bros. described secondhand. Funny, baffling, and oddly affectionate, this is the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie review you didn't know you needed.

Andrew and James take a comedy podcast detour through Kansas, the state that is either America's most underrated road trip destination or proof that the universe has a sense of humor. The guys discuss driving across the flattest place in the continental US, the strange peace that comes from zero visual distractions, and the thoughts a person has when there is literally nothing else to look at. Funny, philosophical, and oddly therapeutic, no mountains required.

Andrew and James welcome Velvet Aquarium to the comedy podcast for a conversation that gets strange fast. This funny, freewheeling episode covers the phenomenon of remembering things that haven't happened yet, surreal personal stories, and the kind of confessions that only come out when the recording light is on. Equal parts humor podcast and fever dream, and somehow both at the same time. If you've ever felt like you've been somewhere before you've been there, this one's for you.