Becoming the Brahman: What Changed After the Void
Gareth Duignam shares a personal account of a later spiritual shift he calls becoming Brahman, distinguishing it from his earlier experience of the void during Nirvakalpa Samadhi. He describes how the experience stabilized, how perception and identity changed for about six months, and why he sees it as a deeper step than temporary unity states.
In this episode, Gareth explains the trigger for the shift, the disorienting aftermath, and why he considers it the first true stage of enlightenment. He also contrasts fleeting spiritual absorption with a permanent change in identity.
Key topics
Gareth distinguishes Brahman consciousness from the earlier direct experience of the void, saying this was a later stabilization, not a one-time visit.
He says the shift began on September 25 after 108 repetitions of the Mahashidasi Mantra, followed by a 30-minute chanting recording that intensified the meditation.
Gareth describes hearing the inner phrase “Now he is you” and seeing Shiva on a snowy mountaintop, which he interpreted as Brahman.
He says the key realization was that direct experience plus clear knowing were both required for the shift to fully lock in.
He describes a prolonged period where objects, people, and places felt as though they only existed while he looked at them.
He says family, friends, and even his home felt unreal when not in direct perception, and he could go days or weeks without thinking about his parents.
Gareth frames Brahman as the canvas of creation, with everything, including gods and goddesses, appearing within it.
He emphasizes that this was not a temporary spiritual high, but a change in identity: “the knower of Brahman becomes Brahman.”
He says his sense of devotion, personal karma, and investment in the story of a separate self dissolved during this period.
He reports the state lasted about six months, after which there was a gradual return of love and a slow re-entry into ordinary perception.
📖 From my book: Waking Up from the Dream
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Timestamps
00:00 - Intro
01:39 - The trigger: 108 mantra repetitions and deepening with a chant recording
02:09 - The mantra merges with awareness and the vision of Shiva appears
03:08 - Why direct experience and clear knowing both matter
03:55 - The world begins to feel real only when looked at
04:24 - Family, friends, and home seem to vanish when attention moves away
04:53 - Brahman as the canvas in which all creation appears
05:50 - Why this is not a temporary visit but a permanent identity shift
06:20 - What changes when part of awareness remains one with the absolute
07:29 - Why temporary absorptions differ from becoming Brahman
08:19 - Devotion and personal karma dissolve
09:23 - The six-month duration and gradual return of love
09:52 - Why Gareth sees this as a deeper stage than unity consciousness
10:50 - Closing reflection and invitation for others to share similar experiences
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