Episode 156: Strength and Vulnerability

[This episode originally aired on December 20, 2022] One of my favorite nursery rhymes contains quite a bit of wisdom: “Row row, row, row your boat gently down the stream; merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream”  •  if we think of the stream as a stream of teachings, then we could consider the Buddha as the source of the stream  •  from that beginning a great river continues to flow over thousands of years  •  where does this stream flow? It flows into an ocean, which you could say is the awakening of the practitioner  •  you have a boat to carry you down this stream, and you have a set of oars to row with  •  what kind of effort do you apply? it's a steady effort, but it's also a relaxed effort: you're rowing gently, but regularly and persistently  •  and how are you doing all this? you're doing it merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily  •  it's not a big struggle; there's a sense of delight  •  in fact it could be dreamlike because it's not so solid, it's not so frozen  •  we're in a shifting and changing world; it's so dreamlike and so unreal in so many ways, but so beautiful and colorful at the same time. 

[This episode originally aired on January 15, 2024]  The phrase, “When you lose your mind, come back” describes a lot of what happens in meditation: repeatedly losing our minds, and repeatedly bringing ourselves back  •  the moment we’ve noticed we’ve lost it is the moment we can return  •  what are we returning to? the simplicity of the present moment  •  another phrase Trungpa Rinpoche used quite a lot was, “Don’t think too much”  •  what are the benefits and what are the limits of thinking and conceptual understanding?  •  in the Buddhist tradition scholarship is highly valued  •  however, to be a realized person, to live a dharmic lifestyle, you don’t need to be a scholar; you don’t need to be all that clever  •  “coming back” in this context could mean coming back from the tangle of conceptual notes and fascinations to something immediate and basic and close to the heart  •  Trungpa Rinpoche used the term “intellect and intuition” when referring to these two streams  •  they are not in opposition or at war; there’s a sense of sophistication in the interplay between these two. 

[This episode originally aired on January 8, 2024]  At our core is our tender heart, tinged with a touch of sadness  •  it is sweet and vulnerable  •  this soft spot may be deeply buried, but it is always there  •  even very simple or momentary experiences can connect us with this heart: you might watch a pair of swallows fly back and forth, over and over, bringing food to their hungry chicks, and something melts or softens in you  •  it is so beautiful to be touched in this way  •  but this inner core of tenderness can also make us feel threatened and vulnerable  •  so we learn to armor up, to wrap that tenderness in layers of protection  •  we begin to buy into the dichotomy between strength on the one hand and vulnerability on the other  •  and little by little, we dull our feelings to hide our vulnerability  •  but as we hide that openness and vulnerability, we also cut off the tender wellspring of kindness and compassion  •  the posture of meditation, with its strong back and soft belly, symbolizes the integration of strength and vulnerability  •  when these two are in harmony, we may discover that our vulnerability is not actually a weakness, but our greatest source of strength  •  when we bring vulnerability and strength together in harmony, we begin to live in this world in a more confident, fresh, and vivid way. 

[This episode originally aired on January 1, 2024]  Trungpa Rinpoche emphasized the importance of understanding space  •  he encouraged us to explore our experiences of boredom, our discomfort with stillness, and our tendency to fill space  •  he pointed out that the basic energy pervading all of space is love and kindness; so to cultivate greater kindness and love, it makes sense to relate to space and its qualities  •  he introduced three aspects or qualities of space  •  the first is that space is indestructible, because it doesn't come from anywhere and doesn’t go anywhere; it is unborn, it is unceasing, and it is impossible to manipulate  •  the second aspect of space is that it accommodates birth and death: things are always arising and dissolving within it, and space accommodates all of that  •  the third aspect of space is that it creates obstacles  •  it seems to rebel against our ideas of importance and what we'd like to accomplish  •  this aspect of space reminds me of the kind of space that people can experience in the vicinity of a dying person  •  in that space, all projects and activities and preoccupations just dissolve on the spot  •  I'd like to invite you to explore these qualities of space in your daily life experience and in your meditation practice.

[This episode originally aired on December 25, 2023]  Today I'd like to explore the topic of space  •  the idea of space as it relates to meditation practice is connected with the notion of “gap” — noticing gaps at the end of each outbreath, noticing the little refreshing moments between things, which we often miss  •  our connection with space can be an almost embodied or physical sense of things: we can sense when a space seems threatening or welcoming  •  we can begin to explore our relationship with space very simply by noticing our tendency to keep ourselves occupied when discomfort arises  •  can we just be at ease with ourselves? can we relax in space?  •  when there is too much space we start to feel groundless; but when there is not enough space we begin to feel claustrophobic  •  so we look for some kind of spacious quality that we can manage, to fit between those extremes  •  but trying to manage space is like trying to corral the sky; it can't be done  •  space dissolves any such schemes and strategies  •  maybe we need to drop all of our strategies for a moment, and let wisdom arise spontaneously from the freedom and vastness of space.

[This episode originally aired on December 18, 2023]  In this episode, I'd like to explore the idea of walls — our internal walls, as well as the walls we create between ourselves and others  •  we're told we need to have clear boundaries; at the same time, we have the challenge of how to bridge the gap between self and others  • the wall between ourselves and others is not always so visible; it can take us by surprise as we try to connect in some way  •  there are times when we deliberately create walls: when we are developing a meditation practice, we wall off distractions and preoccupations in order to create a little island of sanity of some sort, as a form of protection for our mind  •  maybe the fundamental question is whether we're creating walls to protect our sanity, or whether we're creating walls to protect our confusion  •  walls can be about connecting, or about disconnecting  •  we need to explore how to make use of walls to connect with others, as opposed to shutting ourselves down and separating from others. 

[This episode originally aired on December 11, 2023]  I've been thinking a lot recently about peace, especially the Buddhist view of peace  •  it's one of those ironic things: throughout history people have longed for peace and prayed for peace, yet we seem unable to free ourselves from conflict, war and struggle  •  what’s more, our desire for peace can actually manifest as aggression: “if I can defeat my enemy, then I'll be able to finally have some peace”  •  when we talk about peace, what do we really mean? how is peace talked about in different aspects of the dharma?  •  Trungpa Rinpoche taught that we should be quite clear and precise as to the definition of the word: “In Buddhism, peace has nothing to do with pleasure. Peace is just simply peace. It is nonaggression. Nothing takes place. We simply quiet down. And in doing so, things become very clear”  •  peace is the absence of grasping, and it starts right at home with our own state of mind  •  the kind of peace that can develop from letting go of our fixation and grasping is incredibly energetic and powerful  •  according to Martin Luther King, peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal  •  it is simple, immediate, and direct  •  the force of peace is just as strong as the force of hatred and anger; and actions rooted in peace are even more courageous and forceful than actions springing from hatred.

 [This episode originally aired on December 4, 2023]  Buddhist training has two sides, somewhat parallel to pure science and applied science  •  there is the meditation aspect, the inward journey; and there is the application of that in the world, or meditation in action  •  we all have the capacity to help; we all have the capacity to cultivate compassion and also to cultivate wisdom and insight, so that compassion is intelligent  •  but each of us has to find our own way to engage  •  according to the Buddhist teachings, there are five fundamental ways of engaging in the world  •  the first way is to create an accommodating, spacious mind through the practice of sitting meditation — which, according to my teacher, is one of the most radical things you can do  •  the second is exposing falsehood, clarifying situations, and providing information to address problems from a sane viewpoint  •  the third is providing resources like food or money  •  the fourth is cultivating relationships with people engaged in compassionate activities  •  the fifth has to do with understanding how to create organizations that can actually bring about effective action  •  this discussion is about taking stock of our own resources as well as being aware of what we need to cultivate in order to effectively respond to the endless variety of challenges we all face.

 [This episode originally aired on Nov. 27, 2023]  Lately I've been thinking about the slogan, “Always maintain only a joyful mind”  •  at the same time, I've been haunted by the teachings that describe samsara, the nature of reality, as an ocean of suffering  •  if the world is marked by endless suffering, how can you be joyful? and if the world is fundamentally good and wholesome, how do you account for suffering?  •  the Buddha's earliest teachings on the Four Noble Truths — suffering, the origin of suffering, the cessation of suffering, and the path — were presented as a liberating and joyful discovery  •  we recognize there are causes of suffering, and because of that, it's workable; because we can remove the causes of suffering, it's possible to free ourselves  •  whatever this joyful mind is about, it's not about pretending things are okay when they’re not  •  nor is it about closing off bad stuff so we can have a little island of good and hang out there  •  it's easy to feel that the only way we can show we care about this world and our fellow suffering beings is to feel bad all the time  •  but the quality of joy radiates; it actually affects the environment in a healing and positive direction  •  without joy, things get very tight, more fixed, less visionary  •  I would go as far as to say that joy is an essential part of the heroic path of compassion.

[This episode originally aired on Nov. 20, 2023]  In this episode, I'd like to explore such things as resistance, avoidance, procrastination — and why it’s so hard to keep going  •  I think such things are connected with expectations and its partner, disappointment  •  in one form or another, or at one time or another, I think most of us have had these kinds of experiences  •  but we don't need to view such things as character flaws or annoying obstacles; they actually are an important part of the whole spiritual path  •  if you never felt frustrated, if you never felt resistance, that might be a sign that you aren't really doing the practice; maybe you're not letting it bite  •  we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration by the stories we tell ourselves  •  as practitioners or as students of the Dharma, instead of trying to match our experience to the stories we've told ourselves, we could drop our stories and just look  •  instead of being threatened or annoyed, we could be curious of what this experience has to teach us  •  can we actually be with experience as it arises, just as it is?  •  moments of disappointment can be powerful teachings  •  they can loosen our resentments and liberate us from the distortions that come from viewing reality through the lens of our expectations and disappointments.