Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear podcast

Strength to Wait, Courage to Believe

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The Chafez Haim writes that one of the main determinants of the greatness of a person in this world is the way he responds to how Hashem deals with him. In our generation, we have people who have become truly great through the emunah that they have learned and applied in their lives. One woman, who has been in shidduchim for about fifteen years, shared how much strength and courage emunah has given her. What inspires her most are not only stories of miraculous endings, but the journeys of ordinary people who still don't know how things will turn out — and yet, again and again, they choose the path of emunah over despair. Some face major crises, others the struggles of daily life, but they all summon the courage, often with superhuman effort, to choose emunah no matter what. She explained that the endings are secondary. It is the journey and the choices made before the yeshua that give her strength. The emunah that she has learned over the years has not only enabled her to get through each day, but to grow, and even soar, through her nisyonot because of the lessons she has absorbed. She knows that throughout the experience she is accomplishing something every day in her avodat Hashem. While in shidduchim, she feels that the world pushes hard against her to make her despair, but her emunah has saved her emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. It has preserved her self-esteem and allowed her to face what can sometimes be a humiliating process with dignity and grace. She always reminds herself that she is loved by Hashem, that she is a special neshamah, and that her perfect zivug is waiting to be revealed at the right time. She related a very difficult conversation with a rabbi who had suggested a shidduch for her. After one date, she felt absolute clarity that the boy was not for her, and she declined to continue. Her decision was thoughtful and sincere, not frivolous. The rabbi, who truly cared about her, spent an hour and a half urging her to reconsider, questioning her entire approach to dating. He told her that the pool was extremely limited at her age. He explained that despite his best efforts, he could not convince certain boys to go out with her, and he warned her that while emunah and bitachon are central, she must be careful not to be — quote unquote — "foolish." Hearing those words was very painful. Her heart sank many times during the conversation. But the staunch emunah she had built over the last decade enabled her to listen calmly and respond with respect and conviction. She respectfully told the rabbi that she would not allow fear to push her into marrying or dating someone whom she knew was not right for her. She told him that a limited pool means nothing to Hashem. Statistics mean nothing to Hashem. "I only need one zivug," she said. "I am too special to need boys to be convinced to go out with me. If someone doesn't want to date me, that is Hashem's way of saying he is not my match." She told him, "I don't feel my emunah is "foolish", because I know with one hundred percent certainty that Hashem will bring my zivug, and he will be perfect for me, even if he does not look like the package I envisioned. Hashem has been gently guiding my heart and opening my mind for years so that when I do meet him, I will not feel I compromised, but that Hashem has brought two neshamot together at exactly the right time, when we were ready for each other." That night she could not sleep. She cried the entire night. She was confused after hearing such words from a rabbi, but she also felt a closeness to Hashem that she had never experienced before. She almost felt a direct line from her heart to the Kisei HaKavod. She said, "I felt Hashem's presence holding me. I respect the rabbi deeply, but he is not Hashem. Only Hashem is Hashem. To Him, no pool is limited. He could bring my zivug from anywhere, in ways I cannot imagine, because His creativity and solutions are endless. I continue each day to strengthen myself with words of emunah, knowing that my yeshua will come at the right time." Her words are so beautiful. We hope she finds her zivug very soon, but in the meantime she is rising to the highest levels in her avodat Hashem with her unwavering emunah.

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