Stepping Up with Chris U

In this episode, Cliff and Brandon recap the first season of Dads in recovery. They revisit the topics they covered with guests:Selfishness versus self-care with Trey LairdStigma and disclosure with Scott MansfieldBoundaries with John HylandAccountability with Michael RLiving amends with Torin SStepping up with Chris UCliff and Brandon express their overwhelming gratitude to the guests for sharing their experience, strength and hope on the podcast. And they share what they are doing differently as fathers and men in recovery as a result.

In this episode, Cliff and Brandon talk with Chris U about parenting as a motivating factor in recovery. Chris shares the story of his bottom and how the thought of abandoning his daughter provided a moment of clarity. The groups discusses the importance of getting sober for ourselves, and how everyone in our orbit benefits. Chris shares the challenges of his first 90 days, and what his life is like now as a sober father who shows up on a daily basis. He also shares his emotional growth, and how the ability to be vulnerable has led to deeper connections in his life.

The hosts speak with Torin S about how to practice living amends to our children and our families. Torin and Brandon also share the nuances of recovery from sex addiction - the additional layers of stigma and shame, the difficulty of describing sobriety, the ease of denial.

Michael R and the hosts discuss the importance of accountability in their recovery programs and the benefits of modeling accountability for their children. They also delve into the themes of seeking control, unhealthy work habits, positive psychology and wellness, and identifying and nurturing passion in children.TakeawaysThe importance of accountability - in sobriety and as a parentUnderstanding how very common and legitimate parental fears lead to an unhealthy desire to controlThe importance of identifying and fostering passion in childrenChapters00:00 The Importance of Accountability08:12 The Sobriety Mason Dixon Line13:20 Accountability and the 12-Step Program19:06 Expectations and Accountability24:26 Parental Control and Fear29:58 Seeking Control35:05 Redefining Success40:08 Positive Psychology and Wellness45:22 Enabling Children's Passions

Many addicts don't understand the concept of boundaries until they get into recovery. In this episode, John Hyland discusses his own journey with boundaries and why they are necessary in recovery. The conversation talks about the importance of setting boundaries for our kids and modeling boundaries as parents.TakeawaysImportance of setting boundaries in relationshipsThe impact of boundaries on parenting and personal growthThe influence of recovery on family and childrenChapters00:00 Reflections on Father-Son Relationship09:30 Impact of Boundaries on Parenting14:59 Challenges of Setting Boundaries21:24 Emotional Boundaries in Relationships26:26 Moments of Clarity and Self-Reflection33:29 Boundaries in Career and Success40:33 The Impact of Boundaries on Children

This episode discusses a topic many parents in recovery struggle with - how and when to disclose your addiction and recovery to your children. Scott Mansfield tells his story, and explains why he's open not only with his family but also with others about his recovery. His "recovery out loud" is an act of service and helps reduce the stigma of this disease.TakeawaysLiving in consultationThe impact of addiction on family and childrenThe importance of open communication about addiction and recovery with childrenOvercoming stigma and being open about addiction can lead to a sense of accountability and the opportunity to help others.Chapters00:00 Living in Consultation and Service08:13 Impact of Addiction on Personal and Professional Life19:24 Open Communication with Children About Addiction and Recovery28:28 Overcoming Stigma and Openness

Meet Cliff and Brandon, the hosts of Dads in Recovery. In this first episode, they each share their personal experiences with addiction, recovery, and fatherhood. The conversation explores the themes of vulnerability, toxic masculinity, and the type of fatherhood their own dads modeled. Most importantly, it introduces the goal of the podcast - to create a space to discuss the challenges and opportunities faced by dads in recovery.TakeawaysRock bottom is not always a singular event, and recovery can be a journey with multiple turning points.Vulnerability and self-awareness are crucial in the recovery process and in building healthy relationships. Toxic masculinity can have a profound impact on individuals, shaping their self-perception and emotional expression.Sensitivity and empathy are valuable traits that should be embraced and nurtured, rather than suppressed or stigmatized.Chapters00:00 Influence of Parental Figures28:18 Impact of Parental Expectations33:52 Parenting and Nurturing Individuality39:41 Challenging the Model of Masculinity46:27 Breaking the Cycle and Rebirth

Trey Laird, founder and CEO of the Lighthouse, an organization offering coaching services and residences for professionals in recovery, joins Dads in Recovery to discuss the delicate balance between selfishness and self-care. Addicts in their addiction are inherently selfish. We don't want to carry this selfishness into our recovery. Yet we know that in order to show up for our families we need to refill our tanks. How do we discern between these two things.In this conversation, we explore Trey's recovery journey, the transition from selfishness to service, and the importance of self-care and balancing family and work. Trey's transformation and dedication to service are highlighted, along with the challenges and rewards of parenting in recovery.TakeawaysThriving - a new vocabulary for successMoving from selfishness to serviceHow to discern between selfishness and self-careChapters00:00 Redefining Success Vocabulary08:19 Self-Care vs. Selfishness in Parenting15:06 Transition to Service and Balancing Work and Family23:48 Importance of Self-Care and Balancing Family and Work30:06 Challenges of Parenting45:02 Recovery and New Perspectives