It’s Not About Communication: An Interview with Dr. Rachel Orleck

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/iUELr23ilxY. Long-time listeners of our podcast, or those of you who follow my (Bruce’s) work, might recognize that title, “Reigniting the Spark,” as the title of my first book on relationships. Now I’ve created a self-paced video course based on a lot of the same ideas. In this episode, Judy and I talk about why couples might lose the spark, and how it’s possible to get it back. I talk about some of my favorite ideas: stability, intimacy, and the passion paradox; the need to tolerate anxiety without dissolving into panic; the role of faith as the antidote to panic; and more. Our podcast website is at https://ctin7.com. Information about my video courses: Reigniting the Spark: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/reigniting-the-spark Betrayal and Forgiveness: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/betrayal-and-forgiveness-course Discernment: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/discernment The Passion Paradox: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/products/courses/thepassionparadox Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #ReignitingTheSpark #BetrayalAndForgiveness #Discernment #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/muVs-NhSv-U. Our guest in this episode is Tyler Patrick, a marriage and family therapist who works with couples dealing with betrayal trauma and addiction recovery. Tyler tells us about his own journey, and how the struggles he and his wife went through have both challenged and strengthened their relationship. Tyler’s website is http://therapybrothers.org/couples-therapy. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7bf-FUL0Hw8. Our guest in this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck, uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in her work with couples. She explains how EFT applies the insights of attachment theory to help couples find safe, deep reconnection. And, much to my (Bruce’s) delight, she points out that working on communication doesn’t solve the problem! (Recall that one my books is called It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.) Rachel’s website is https://drrachelorleck.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Lt1GOUpHFFo. Why does libido so often seem to fade in a long-term relationship, especially for women? Is it possible it’s not inevitable? Our guest in this episode, Caroline Hood, says it’s not inevitable—and tells how couples can support a great sex life over the long haul. Her forthcoming book is Sex Begets Sex: Reclaiming Desire as an Act of Female Empowerment. Caroline’s website is https://www.desireinreallife.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FDZUJQEnR28. How can a couple reinforce and deepen their emotional connection? Our guests in this episode, Dr. Penny Goldmuntz and Rabbi Michael Trachter, are a married couple who help other couples do just that. They tell us about how they work with couples to help them create a “Story of Us,” so they approach both problems and joys with a sense of teamwork and intimacy. Michael and Penny’s websites are  https://michaelandpenny.com/ and https://pennyandmichael.com. The app Michael describes in the episode is available at https://10minutedate.michaelandpenny.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Wacw1Cz7JfM. We had a blast having this conversation with Amanda Dames! Amanda is “The Kink Consultant,” on a mission to destigmatize kink, empower exploration, and help individuals and couples build bridges so they can own and express their fantasies safely. Amanda’s website is https://www.amandadames.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! Information at https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #kink #AmandaDames

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/1b8w45QIbX8. If your spouse or partner has betrayed you, can you heal the marriage? Dealing with betrayal trauma is, obviously, painful and difficult—but can the marriage heal? In this episode Judy and I talk about the three options couples face when betrayal has happened, and how you might choose among them. And Bruce describes his video course that guides you to a decision. Our podcast website is at https://ctin7.com. Information about my video courses: Betrayal and Forgiveness: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/betrayal-and-forgiveness-course The Passion Paradox: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/products/courses/thepassionparadox Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #discernment #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #betrayal #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/E33G8rILKy4. If you’ve been betrayed—or if your partner has accused you of betrayal—what is it about what happened that makes it betrayal? It’s not just semantics. You can be hurt, but betrayal isn’t just hurt. Betrayal shakes your entire foundation—you not only have to doubt your trust, you have to doubt your own judgment. Betrayal trauma is its own category of pain. Judy and I talk about what makes something rise to the level of betrayal, and consider circumstances where maybe it’s possible to rethink it. Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think! Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #betrayal #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/9OvsfA9HEOI. Forgiveness can mean different things—and those differences can have a significant impact on the process of healing when someone has hurt or betrayed you. Judy and I talk about what forgiveness might mean, and how some ways of understanding it can be disempowering while other ways can be empowering. Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think! Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/6_CuvZO8qbQ. What is betrayal trauma? What makes it particularly painful? Judy and I talk about betrayal, including some insights we’ve gained from our own experience. Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think! Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander