#050 911 on Open Bottle

Recorded 6/2/2026 - released 6/3/2026 - modified with phone number removed 6/17/2026

I call my mother back after receiving several texts and missed calls while I was at a movie theater. She says she has urgent news. It isn't. Recorded 3/13/2026 - Edited & Released 3/24/2026

I tell mom about getting banned from Video Archives Theater (it IS my fault, and I own that) and last night's inconsistent screening at the Vista of Porgy & Bess. My mother tells more of Garnet's plans and how she's wearing green to avoid getting pinched. I left these completely un-edited as a test - could these be daily if I don't worry about editing? Recorded/edited/released March 17, 2026

Mom discusses plans to drive Garnet's car and how she got her new socks. Recorded and edited March 16, 2026 - Released March 17, 2026

Mom calls to complain about her neighbor but ends up telling a story about ignoring traffic laws on a morning liquor store run. She reaches out to the worst resource for advice. Recorded and Edited Oct. 27, 2025 - Released March 16, 2026

Mom fixed her phone and is asked what she learned at church. Recorded/Edited/Released March 15, 2026

Mom and I have determinded that she needs to move out here with me in Caifornia, but mean Aunt Garnet and Crazy Cousin Jana have another plan. They lure her to a disasterous overnight stay with them in West Virginia. We'd been told that Jana had "fits" but we'd never actually heard one before. NOTE: I put this out at first without her rescue but decided to add it to this episode rather than make a two-parter. Recorded on Dec. 30, 2025 - Released Jan. 2, 2026 - Final Version Jan. 3, 2026

Mom tells me about Jeff, her would-be beau, appearing at her apartment door twice uninvited. Two weeks later and he's a missing person. Does my mother have information the police should know? I start with excerpts from calls two weeks ago, and then you can hear our discussion earlier today - Black Friday. Calls recorded 11/11/25, 11/13/25, 11/28/25 - Released 11/28/2025

Mother recounts dead celebrities and makes sure to mention how old they'd be in relation to her "if they weren't not dead". Our English and Irish ancestry is discussed along with more details on my mother's family line. Oh, and my older brother was supposed to have been aborted. Recorded 8/21/25 - Patreon Release 10/25/25 - General Release 10/31/25

Mom receives a neighbor's grocery delivery but is too afraid to call the office about it. I e-mail and call on her behalf. This is just another example of how people like my mother are at a Digital Disadvantage and can be intimidated by the very people they are supposed to contact when there is a problem. Recorded 10/21/25 - Patreon Release 10/21/25 - General Release 10/31/25