Becoming Someone Who Desires Alcohol Less

Your inner critic: that voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll never stick with this.” We all have one. But what if there was a way to take back your power—starting with something as simple (and science-backed) as giving it a name?In this episode of Think Thursday from the Alcohol Minimalist, Molly dives into the neuroscience and psychology behind naming your inner critic and how this deceptively small move can have a big impact on your identity, your habits, and your peace of mind.In this episode:Why self-critical thoughts become default neural pathwaysWhat psychology research tells us about the “self-critic sequence”How naming your inner critic creates psychological distance and disrupts habit loopsThe brain science behind identity-based changeWhat to do when your critic shows up (including journaling prompts and self-compassion techniques)You’ll also hear how Molly uses the phrase “Old Molly” to talk back to her own inner critic—and how this practice can create space for a new self to emerge.This is your brain’s inner dialogue—rewired for growth.Resources Mentioned:Work of Dr. Kristin Neff on self-compassionIdentity-based habits from James ClearPsychology research on emotion naming and self-criticismDialogical Self TheoryYour Think Thursday Challenge:Choose a name for your inner criticSpeak to it with awareness and intentionJournal about the shifts you noticeYou’re not trying to silence the voice—you’re learning how to lead it. And that’s how you move from reaction to intention, and from habit to identity.Subscribe to the Alcohol Minimalist for more episodes like this. And if this resonated with you, share it with someone who’s working on self-talk and habit change.Until next time—choose peace, and choose good thoughts. ★ Support this podcast ★

Episode Summary: As we close out More Sober October, Molly invites you to reflect not just on how many drinks you had—or didn’t have—but on who you became along the way. This episode brings the month’s theme full circle, offering a powerful emotional close and a neuroscience-backed perspective on identity change.Molly revisits the month’s key concepts, including identity scripts, neuroplasticity, and casting “votes” for the kind of person you want to become. You’ll hear encouragement to look beneath the surface of your habits and recognize the deeper shifts that may already be taking place.Whether October went exactly to plan—or not even close—this episode is a celebration of your progress, your resilience, and your values in action.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why change often feels subtle—and how that’s a sign it’s workingHow repetition rewires the brain and reshapes identityJames Clear’s insight on identity-based habits and casting votesWhy you don’t need to be perfect to be proudHow to create a powerful future-focused reflection practiceTry This Practice: Write a short letter to your “future you” with these prompts:This is what I’ve learned about myself…This is what I want you to remember next time it gets hard…This is what I’m proud of from More Sober October…This is what I know is possible for you…Bonus Reminder: Change isn’t just about what you believe. It’s about what you remember. Document your growth and create a breadcrumb trail for the future you to follow.Next Steps: Join Molly for No-Binge November, featuring the Just One More? Rewiring the Binge Brain course. For just $39, you’ll receive lifetime access plus two live group coaching calls. Sign up here. Connect with Molly:Website: www.mollywatts.comInstagram: @alcoholminimalistFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/alcoholminimalistsLow risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★

In this episode of Think Thursday, Molly explores the powerful difference between joy and pleasure, and why understanding this distinction matters for anyone pursuing lasting behavior change — including changing your relationship with alcohol.We often use “joy” and “pleasure” interchangeably, but from a neuroscience lens, they activate different brain pathways and lead to profoundly different emotional outcomes. Pleasure is short-lived, dopamine-driven, and external. Joy, on the other hand, is sustainable, meaning-based, and internally constructed.Molly breaks down the brain science behind each, explaining:Why our reward system is wired for instant gratificationHow dopamine can lead to tolerance (and increased consumption)Why joy isn’t just felt — it’s built and interpreted by the brain’s meaning-making systemShe offers five brain-friendly strategies to create more joy in your life — and how these tools can directly support your alcohol minimalist journey.What You'll LearnThe key neurochemical differences between pleasure and joyWhy pleasure tends to fade quickly (and leave you wanting more)The role of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins in how we feelWhy joy can be cultivated, even in challenging momentsPractical, science-backed ways to bring more joy into your daily lifeJoy-Building Practices:Savoring – Pause and stretch out positive experiencesGratitude – Practice genuine (not performative) thankfulnessConnection – Strengthen relational bonds in simple waysAligned Action – Do one small thing that reflects your valuesNovelty – Try something new to spark curiosity and attentionMentioned in the Episode:The SPARK acronym from Monday’s main episodeInsights from the book Aesthetics of Joy by Ingrid Fetell LeeWhy This MattersWhen you're changing your drinking habits, it's not about removing pleasure — it's about building something more lasting and meaningful. Understanding how to create joy gives you a powerful tool to replace the quick fix of alcohol with something far more fulfilling.Ready to practice joy on purpose? Start with just one idea from today and notice how it shifts your mindset. ★ Support this podcast ★

Episode Summary:In this episode of the Alcohol Minimalist Podcast, Molly explores a powerful and often overlooked question: Can you truly celebrate without alcohol? As we wrap up More Sober October and gear up for No Binge November, Molly dives into the neuroscience behind celebration and what it means to detach joy from a drink.Drawing on personal insight and scientific research, she challenges the deeply ingrained belief that alcohol is necessary for joy, milestones, or connection. This episode is a reminder that true celebration comes from meaning—not from what's in your glass.What You'll Learn:Why our culture ties alcohol so tightly to celebrationHow to redefine what celebration really meansThe neuroscience of joy and how your brain creates itPractical strategies for celebrating without relying on alcoholThe importance of identity in alcohol change workSpecial Announcement:Molly introduces her limited-time course Just One More? Rewiring the Binge Brain—offered exclusively for No Binge November. This $39 course includes:Lifetime access to the course contentA downloadable workbookTwo live group coaching calls with MollyA community of support to help you stick with your goalsThis is a great opportunity for anyone looking to shift their binge patterns and move into a more peaceful relationship with alcohol.Resources Mentioned:Sign up for No Binge November and the Just One More? course: https://alcoholminimalist.thrivecart.com/just-one-more-no-binge-november/To get email updates about upcoming events and coaching, join Molly's mailing list.Connect with Molly:Website: www.mollywatts.comInstagram: @alcoholminimalistFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/alcoholminimalistsLow risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★

In this Think Thursday episode, Molly explores why sometimes not knowing can actually make you calmer, more focused, and more creative. Continuing the theme of counterintuitive brain science, she builds on previous Think Thursday episodes like The Paradox of Freedom, Novelty for Habit Change, and last week’s Defensive Pessimism to show how Selective Ignorance helps protect the brain’s limited capacity for attention, energy, and emotion.What You’ll LearnWhy so many principles of neuroscience and psychology feel counterintuitive at firstHow your brain filters 11 million bits of information every second through the reticular activating systemWhy constant news, emails, and notifications drain your mental energyHow dopamine drives curiosity and why too much novelty burns it outWhat studies show about the benefits of “information fasting” and reduced mental inputPractical ways to practice Selective Ignorance to improve focus and reduce stressKey Quotes“The people who make meaningful change aren’t the ones who know the most—they’re the ones who filter the best.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits“Sometimes not knowing helps you know yourself better.” — Molly WattsPractical TakeawaysCurate your inputs. Follow fewer, higher-quality sources.Schedule mental quiet. Set “ignorance hours” for digital silence.Replace input with reflection. Journal, walk, or sit in quiet thought.Remember the enough threshold. Progress comes from applying what you already know, not learning more.Studies and Sources MentionedClear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits – Selective Ignorance and focusLevitin, D. (2014). The Organized Mind – The attention economyStanford University and University of London – Research on multitasking and IQKillingsworth, M. & Gilbert, D. (2010). Science – Mind-wandering and happinessPsychological Science (2015) – Information fasting and creative problem solvingDesimone, R. & Duncan, J. (1995). Annual Review of Neuroscience – The biased competition model of attentionRelated Think Thursday EpisodesDefensive Pessimism—How Planning for the Worst Helps You Do Your BestThe Paradox of FreedomNovelty for Habit ChangeThe Neuroscience of Mental RestSilence Is GoldenNeurodivergence and the Brain’s Energy Economy ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Molly welcomes back Ian Andersen, co-founder of Sunnyside, for a timely and thought-provoking conversation on the evolving landscape of alcohol health and behavior change. Ian shares the backstory of Sunnyside’s growth from its origins during the pandemic to the recent launch of Sunnyside Med, a new initiative designed to support individuals seeking more structure and support in reducing their alcohol consumption.If you're feeling challenged during “More Sober October,” or you’ve ever felt like you're behind the curve while the media insists everyone is drinking less, this episode offers reassurance, insight, and practical next steps.What You’ll Learn:Why Sunnyside was founded and how its inclusive, non-prescriptive model fills a critical gap in alcohol supportWhat Sunnyside Med is and who it's designed to helpThe disconnect between public alcohol trends and personal strugglesHow the cultural narrative around moderation is evolvingWhy sustainable change requires systems, not shameThe psychological barriers that often prevent progress and how to overcome themQuotable Moments“We don’t want to be the food scale or calorie counter of alcohol. We want to be a guide, not a judge.” – Ian Andersen“Just because the news says people are drinking less, doesn’t mean you feel less stuck.” – Molly WattsResources and LinksLearn more about Sunnyside: www.sunnyside.coGet details on Sunnyside Med: https://www.joinsunnysidemed.com/Visit Molly’s site for courses and coaching: www.mollywatts.comLow risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week on Think Thursday, we’re exploring an idea that turns conventional wisdom on its head: defensive pessimism. While it may sound like a negative mindset, it’s actually a powerful, evidence-based cognitive strategy that helps anxious or overthinking brains perform better, reduce stress, and follow through on goals more effectively.Defensive pessimism isn't about catastrophizing or giving up. It's about anticipating obstacles and using those thoughts to prepare instead of panic. In this episode, you'll learn how this approach taps into the brain’s natural tendency to predict outcomes, and how making one critical shift — understanding the difference between prediction and probability — can dramatically improve your results.We’ll talk about:What defensive pessimism is and why it worksThe neuroscience of prediction and how it affects your behaviorWhy your brain’s “what ifs” might be trying to help youA simple three-step process to start using this strategy todayWhether you're trying to build a new habit, overcome self-doubt, or just want to feel more in control of your daily life, this mindset can help you stop overthinking and start planning with confidence.Want more support? Join the Alcohol Minimalist Facebook group or email Molly directly at [email protected]. We’d love to hear how you’re using defensive pessimism to create change. ★ Support this podcast ★

In this week’s episode, Molly dives deeper into the More Sober October theme: Who are you without the drink? If you've ever felt like you're at war with yourself when it comes to drinking decisions, you're not imagining it. Molly unpacks the neuroscience behind this inner conflict and introduces listeners to the concept of our two selves—the automatic self and the intentional self.Referencing Daniel Kahneman’s book Thinking, Fast and Slow, Molly breaks down how System 1 (your fast, emotional, habitual brain) and System 2 (your slow, rational, goal-focused brain) influence your drinking choices. This science-backed framework explains why your default drinking habits feel so hard to break and why it’s absolutely possible to rewire your brain to make intentional, value-aligned decisions.Whether you’re navigating more alcohol-free days this October or simply trying to understand why it’s so hard to say no sometimes, this episode offers practical insight and compassionate encouragement.Key Topics CoveredWhy identity and habit formation go hand-in-hand with your drinking storyThe difference between your default (automatic) self and your intentional selfHow Kahneman’s System 1 and System 2 thinking applies to alcohol habitsWhy the brain resists effortful thinking and defaults to the familiarHow to start training your intentional self to become your new defaultResources MentionedBook: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanJoin More Sober October with Molly: More Sober October InfoLow risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★

In this Think Thursday episode, Molly explores why the brain doesn’t experience minutes the way the clock does. Our perception of time is not fixed—it stretches and compresses depending on novelty, memory, attention, and emotion. That’s why childhood summers feel endless while adulthood years can seem to vanish.Molly unpacks the psychology and neuroscience of time perception, including how prospective and retrospective time work, why novelty sharpens attention and stretches moments, and how emotions like fear, boredom, and joy distort our sense of time. She also shares fascinating phenomena like the “stopped clock illusion” and highlights how mindfulness can expand our sense of presence and create richer memories, making life feel fuller and more meaningful.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The difference between prospective time and retrospective timeWhy childhood feels longer than adulthoodHow novelty, memory, and dopamine influence time perceptionHow emotions like stress, boredom, and joy distort our experience of timeWhy mindfulness slows down prospective time and lengthens retrospective memorySimple practices to stretch brain time and savor everyday momentsKey Quote:“Clock time is rigid—sixty minutes is always sixty minutes. But brain time is elastic. Two people can live the same number of years yet experience them very differently depending on how much novelty, presence, and emotion they build into their days.”References and Resources:Eagleman, D. (2009). Brain Time: The Temporal Dimension of ExperienceWittmann, M. (2016). Felt Time: The Psychology of How We Perceive TimeConsciousness and Cognition (2019): Mindfulness meditation and time perceptionPrevious Think Thursday episodes: The Power of Reminiscing, The Science of Awe ★ Support this podcast ★

In this episode of the Alcohol Minimalist Podcast, Molly explores how deeply alcohol can become tied to our identity. Phrases like “wine mom,” “party girl,” or “craft beer enthusiast” may sound harmless, but they often reinforce the idea that drinking is part of who we are rather than something we do. Molly explains how self-schemas shape our beliefs, why identity disruption can feel unsettling when you change your drinking, and how to navigate the friction that comes with rewriting your personal story.You will learn about the psychology behind identity labels, the concept of status quo bias, and four evidence-based tools to help you separate fact from story, soothe the discomfort of change, and begin building a future identity that reflects your values.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why cultural labels around drinking can feel like part of your personalityHow self-schemas and alcohol expectancies reinforce drinking habitsWhy change can feel like loss and how to view it as growthThe role of status quo bias in resisting identity changeFour practical strategies to shift your identity and reclaim who you are without alcoholResources Mentioned:Studies on alcohol-related self-concept in Addictive Behaviors and the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs2015 article on identity disruption in the Journal of Substance Use and MisuseSunnyside app (recommended tool for tracking and building new drinking habits)Want to sign up for More Sober October?  Click here.Low risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:Healthy men under 65:No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.Abstinence from alcoholAbstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.Benefits of “low-risk” drinkingFollowing these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work. ★ Support this podcast ★