S3E1: Learning to Live with Your Loved One’s Addiction

I’ve been waiting for you.It seems like years.Take a moment and breathe.Feel your feet on the ground.The earth can hold you now.Your work is done.Let your eyelids rest.And just breathe.Did you notice?You’re still here.You’re still breathing.Your heart still beats.Open your eyes now.Look around you.Do things seem different?That’s because you are different.The sun seems to shine brighter.The butterflies come out to greet you and birds fly by to say hello.Did you feel that gentle breeze in your hair?That was just for you.Breathe.You’ve been working so hard.Now you can just be still.It’s time to love yourself.It’s time to allow hope to re-enter your life.It’s about you now.Your work is done. Don’t they have everything they need?You’ve been given another chance.Sip in the oxygen, then set your voice and your words free.From this day forward, you will no longer hold yourself responsible for the happiness of others.It’s time for you to live renewed.For more episodes: https://beyondhoperadio.com/Beyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/s3e5-ive-been-waiting-for-you

Manny Mendez from FOREEL Recovery joins me today to talk about how they are connecting art and recovery.FOREEL’s goal is to not only help individuals achieve long term recovery and fulfill their dream, but to also find purpose in life. They have found that their approach to help overcome addiction has been successful by utilizing the creative mind through art in all of its many aspects.FOREEL believes addiction to be a disease of the mind, body and spirit. Those who have participated in the art-based activities have been given an opportunity to reconnect with the valuable inner resource of their own creativity. Through expressing themselves through art they can understanding the nature of their pain and can obtain the ability to heal and recover.For more info: https://foreelrecovery.com/For more episodes and notes: https://beyondhoperadio.com/Beyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/s3e4-foreel-recovery-with-manny-mendez

Today I’m talking to my friend, Aundre Washington. He shares his personal experience of darkness and what it means to not give up. I hope his story brings you encouragement, wherever you are in your journey today.First, Aundre and I share the story of how we met. It’s a unique story, but I’m grateful that he reached out to me, so that I could get to know him and develop our friendship.Aundre is passionate about faith, family and seeing others make progress in their life. He believes simple conversations can change the trajectory of someone’s life.2016 was the year that broke Aundre. It started with a layoff, this one was different. It hit home harder. Aundre felt lost and without a purpose. He started to struggle with depression and anxiety. Then the discouraging process of looking for a job, no after no. He started to grow bitter, and insecure. And the hits kept on coming, January – December.Aundre can now say he is happy for that year. He’s seen how those struggles and trials made him stronger.There is a beauty in the brokenness. Aundre saw things in his life that didn’t belong. He can now relate to others that are broken, and questioning their faith. Because he’s been there too.I’m glad you’re here today and hope that Aundre’s voice lifts you up and gives you hope.Aundre’s YouTube Channel: https://youtu.be/quTAmXHNYUcLinks:Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/create.momentum/Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/My email: [email protected] out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web – http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook – https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube – http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/s3e3-beauty-from-brokenness-with-aundre-washington

Today I bring you a wonderful conversation I had with the amazing Stacy Fisher, who is an incredible self-care “guru.” A certified dietician, hilarious, compassionate, fun, but such a beautiful light.We talk about some of the bigger things in life, things that bring joy, the “deep” stuff. Stacy feels these are what leads us to what we can do to contribute and to support ourselves first so that we can support others. That’s why we’re here, to support one another.But we must understand the basics and setting that foundation for being able to be in service and so that’s why Stacy has been drawn or pulled so much to self-care.Over the last few weeks, in some ways I feel like I’m losing my mind right now. This energy right now is so wonky, and I just feel so confused about how I feel about everything. And the topic of self-care is so neglected right now. Yet, it is so important.Stacy and I touch on that, and we honor where we’re at right now, where you may be right now, and then how do we start to think about emerging from this.The days now are fluid and they just kind of flow. And yes, we have things we have to get for meeting our basic needs. We must eat, we need to sleep, even though those schedules are so off-kilter.So, the exercise helps me, I ask myself, “What do I need right now?” Well, right now I need a giant salad with fresh vegetables. See, you know, so you can start to get to know yourself. And while every day might have some decisions that are a little out of alignment with what you’re trying to achieve, that’s totally okay.But it’s over the long term that we have to really get honest with ourselves. Is that where we really want to go? Stacy thinks asking ourselves this on a daily basis is so critical. What do you need the most right now? And when we have to prioritize. When do I ask others for support?Listen in to this episode for some grounding and thoughtful ways to help us all get through some tough times, no matter the challenge.Thanks so much for being here, I hope you are staying healthy right now and I’m sending you so much love.For more info on the incredible Stacy Fisher, please head on over to her website, https://www.livingupp.com/Links:Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/create.momentum/Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/My email: [email protected]—Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web – http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook – https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube – http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/s3e2-self-care-to-help-calm-the-unsteady-times-with-stacy-fisher-of-living-upp

Hey everyone, I wanted to take just a moment to reach out to you and let you know that we are still here, fighting the fight, living our lives. And I wanted to thank you for all the love and support that you’ve given me. The emails and the text messages, it means so much to me.I wanted to let you know that if you are struggling with anything, whatever it is that you’re going through, if you’re struggling right now, just know that you’re not alone. And I too have been struggling over the last six months.I just refuse to give up. I started to look around and recognize that I was falling into those same old patterns and it was really turning inward. I didn’t want to spend time with people that I care about. Really keeping people at arms-length. I was irritable and tired all the time. I’ve put on 35 pounds in the last year.It was impacting every part of my life, and then suddenly, I realized that nothing was working.“Dammit, I’m in that place that I thought that I had climbed out of and reclaimed my life. Things were working again, and I was enjoying my life. I was less fixated on saving my daughter and more focused intentionally on choosing having joy in my life.Well, it’s not a quick fix, is it? There are more things to learn, more things to be revealed to us that are going to be difficult and challenging.More lessons. We will expand and make room for more suffering and more life lessons and a deeper appreciation and a deeper love for all the things in our life. We’ll just continue to grow, and we’ll just keep pushing. We don’t know what our pet potential is, we don’t know how big our hearts can expand.We must trust the process and trust our ability to recognize the people in our lives and opportunities for us to be there for more people. We’re going to be afraid and we’re going to want to give up and, but we won’t. We’ll keep pushing. And if you have kind of recognized that you’re in that same old place, I just want to encourage you to do these three things:First, I need you to decide that you’re going to reclaim your life. Again, this may be the first time and maybe the 20th time. I just need you to decide it. Say it out loud that you are ready to reclaim your life.Step number two, you are going to seek and celebrate moments of joy daily. It could be your favorite slippers, a snuggly robe, or a delightfully hat shower that helps wash away some of the pain.Finally, then you are going to choose positivity. You’re going to choose it and you’re going to decide to see things differently. And if you’re like me, you’re going to have to choose it and choose it, repeatedly. Cause you’re going to fuck up.You’re going to forget, and that negative voice is going to come through, but you’re going to choose something that makes you feel happy.Those are your next steps, your three steps, and you’re going to keep doing it. And we’re going to continue this journey together.This is the book I’ve been trying to write for you, and I’m working on setting it free. The book is called Learning to Live with Your Loved One’s Addiction. I am feeling really good about sharing it with you, and I will keep you posted. It’s my voice. It’s my words, it’s my story and it’s my life.With that, I am sending you so, so, so much love. I am committed to seeing this through. Please continue to send your encouragement to me, it means the world to me. I love you guys. Please be safe and I am wishing you well. Lead with love, lead with kindness, and I will talk to you soon.Links:Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/create.momentum/Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/My email: [email protected]—Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web – http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook – https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube – http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/

It’s not a ride I want to be on, and I’ve been on it enough times already. But I find myself back and feeling all the emotions that come when you discover your loved one has relapsed.Unfortunately, it’s a real piece of recovery. And during this honest and open episode, I let you in on what’s been happening in my world and what I have been doing to try and take care of myself. In order to move forward when our loved one has moved back towards their addiction and away from recovery, we must focus on self-care and I give some tips on how I do that for myself.I also answer a listener’s question about how to recognize relapse, some of the signs, both physical and emotional. And if you’ve been here before, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.Listen in to this episode as I go deep into the pain and frustration that surrounds relapse and remind myself about ways to effectively manage it and make sure I am staying healthy. This is an all too common occurrence for all of us working through addiction, and it never will be painless, but it can be easier.I love you and I am sending you all my best wishes. Try to find those moments of joy, live in the moment, appreciate yourself, and connect with others who can support you on this challenging path.Links:Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/create.momentum/Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/My email: [email protected]—Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web – http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook – https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube – http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/

What’s been happening? During this episode, I chat with you a little bit about what’s been going on in my world. I know my last episode kind of left things in just a state of flux. I had recorded kind of what I was going through at that moment and I try hard to be as transparent as I can with this podcast while also respecting my daughter. I feel really, really blessed because my daughter is so supportive of what I’m doingThroughout the last six years or so, throughout my daughter’s addiction, I was so caught up in trying to help her in any way that I could to help her, so that she could live her best life. And it’s taken me so long to realize that’s not my role. She’s an adult and this is the path that she’s chosen. And I know that I have done everything within my power to offer her opportunities to change her life and to take a different path.I want it all. I want to be a part of her life. I want to share her life with her. I want to see her sharing her gifts with this world. What she has really taught me over the last four months or so is she deserves the opportunity to find her own way without, without Mom. It has forced me to step back and to give her that space that she was requiring. By making the choices that she was making, she was telling me that she was going to do this her way. And no matter what, I’m always loving her and supporting her.I think that she has the right to, to do this on her own. Does it make me happy? And I wouldn’t say it makes me happy. Does it make me proud? Yes. Does it make me nervous? Hell yes. But you know, this is her life and just like I had to find my own way in this world, and I had to make my own mistakes and figure out what it was that I needed to be my best self. She is doing the same thing. She’s really following that same path.I wanted to share with you something that I did a couple of months ago that surprised me. Advocacy has not been at the forefront of my mind. A couple of months ago it was Washington’s Recovery Advocacy Day. I took the day off from work and went to Olympia and I was privileged to be able to join 400 other people there in Olympia. And we spoke to different legislators and shared our voices and talked about why these bills were important to us and to our communities.And along with that, I got to advocate for my daughter. I felt like I was doing something and that was so important to me because I was just sitting here waiting. Waiting, I guess for something. Waiting to hear from my daughter, waiting to hear what’s going on with her, waiting to find out if she has relapsed, waiting to know if she’s gone back to treatment.And I felt kind of paralyzed. Well, when I went to Olympia and I got to surround myself with other people who are advocating for the same things. It felt so amazing and I wanted to speak about it. And I wanted to encourage you, if you are in a place right now, like where I was, where you’re feeling helpless to find a way to reach out and serve somehow.It’s really going to help, and I would just highly encourage you to consider it. Consider what you might be able to do for your community.I also just wanted to tell you that I do feel sorry that I haven’t been more, more open the last few months. I want to show up and speak on a regular basis and I want to share what I’m going through and I want to talk about it.I just want you to know that I am grateful to each and every one of you for sharing this journey with me. I also wanted to tell you that I have a couple of Facebook groups. And I do share things in there. I share quotes, I do love quotes, the ones that touched my heart. Please visit and join if you are wanting to connect with us, we’d love to have you.I love you and I look forward to talking with you soon. I encourage you to go out there and find moments of joy and celebrating them and you to lift each other up through positivity and I’ll talk with you soon.https://www.facebook.com/groups/create.momentum/https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/My email: [email protected] Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/

Tonight, I’m recording this episode from an old familiar place. I recently learned that my daughter, who had been doing so well. Left rehab after 15 months. She just walked away from it. All the hard work. The relationships that she’d built. Right now, this second, I am sickened with worry, fear, and feelings of guilt ... wondering what went wrong? What did I miss? And why?We've been here before, but this time I feel the separation. Separated by the deep blue ocean, people, time, and experiences. She holds the cards, and I am powerless. What better time than this to tap into some of the strategies I talk about.Here we go.1. Surrender, and proclaim that you want to feel better.2. Tap into all five senses. What do you feel, taste, see, smell, hear?3. Connect with all the things you know to be true. For example, I am safe. My daughter is resilient and resourceful. She is an adult. And so on.4. Seek out and celebrate moments of joy, no matter how small. Being present and in the moment, look around you – what is it that makes you smile?5. What can you add to your environment to bring you joy? Not necessarily materialistic. How about music, or a scented candle. Fresh air, exercise, or going to an Al-anon meeting.6. Which memories can you think about to feel joyful?This type of intentionality and positivity can not only change how we feel in the moment. Over time, this kind of work will change your life.Thank you for being here.I also wanted to encourage you to be kind to yourself. To show yourself the same love and compassion you give to others. It's easy to blame anyone other than ourselves for how we feel. When we let the pain take over this may cause us to retreat into ourselves. Getting stuck rewinding and playing painful memories or experiencing all the horrific possibilities that could terribly wrong.It’s easy to give up. But you must be intentional in wanting to change your mindset. Today I know that only I am responsible for how I feel today, how I perceive and react to different situations in my life, and the decisions I make. My daughter is not responsible for my joy, that’s my job. I am responsible for my own joy.It is possible. Never give up hope.--Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web - http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube - http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/

Hey everyone, welcome to Beyond Hope Radio! I am so happy to be talking to you today and I just want to wish you a happy, happy new year. Some of you reached out to me over the last couple of months and I just want to thank you so much for thinking of me. You may have been wondering where I've been and I've gotten some nudges from you to record and I just want to say thank you and I've never forgotten about you and I'm not bailing on this podcast, but I really struggled with the timing of it all. I was seemingly bumping up against old beliefs and fears and falling into old patterns that were no good.So today, I want to talk about traditions and how hard we push ourselves to recreate old memories, perhaps memories from a time when things were easier and how hard that is to do realistically, because we've changed.Things have changed. Family members and loved ones may no longer be with us and how hard it is to recreate traditions that no longer serve us. Like cutting down a fricking Christmas tree, why was that so hard to do? I wanted to chat with you about some of the clues that may be showing up that maybe we're stuffing our emotions. And how to identify the warning signs that maybe something's not quite right with us or maybe we're ignoring some of the things.Some call it a defense mechanism, but I call it neglect. We're neglecting ourselves, our self-care. So, listen in and let's dive into a couple of those topics.Thank you again for sticking by me, Happy New Year and I'm sending you and your loved ones so, so much love. And remember, you can always reach out to me. You can email me at [email protected] and I will respond as soon as I can. Love you guys. Bye for now.--Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web - http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube - http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtubeBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/

Hi everyone, it has been a little while since I've recorded an episode but I have been thinking about you and I want to thank everyone for the encouragement and support.I was reminded why I started this journey and who I am here for...maybe that's you if you feel stuck and confused.It wasn't long ago that I was feeling a little stuck and the circle around me kept getting smaller and smaller. I think being vulnerable, sharing my voice and my story, while scary, is less painful than it would be to keep it all in.I also realized it's up to me to "fill up my cup" and during this episode I reflect on some of the different ways this can be accomplished. Everyone has their own preference and none of this is easy, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes.How do I find joy? What makes me laugh? I think it's so important and so healing to just laugh and find joy in even the smallest of things.Sometimes I feel holding onto the pain and worry when our kids are out there using somehow keeps us connected and closer to them. While reflecting upon this, I also talk about how learning to challenge your thinking, at least for me, is very powerful.Never give up on hope...and remember, nothing can replace talking to somebody who completely understands and has experienced what you're going through.As always, love and best wishes, Shar--Find out more about Beyond Hope Radio:Web - http://beyondhoperadio.comFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/beyondhoperadio/YouTube - http://beyondhoperadio.com/youtube--Show sponsor:Hassle-Free Books - You have a message to share, it shouldn't be so difficult to get it out to the world. Become an author in a little as 45 days: http://hasslefreebooks.comBeyond Hope with Shar Joneshttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/beyond-hope/