Episode 119 - Terror Train (1980)

Cooper and Nolan are tasting the water of life this week when they cover the original DUNE! This notorious Dino De Laurentiis production was plagued with studio interference, visual effects problems, and Kyle MacLachlan's terrible acting, all of which forced director David Lynch to have to cram a whole book series' worth of story into a two hour movie. The result was a confusing, plot heavy mess that for some reason features a VERY sweaty Sting. But is that bizarre piece of casting (along with the curiosity of watching a legendary bomb for the first time) enough to make this enjoyable for the guys? According to an ancient prophecy, this episode (featuring a beer from Dune Hopper Brewing Co.) contains the answer!

Cooper and Nolan are going off the rails this week when they board the TERROR TRAIN by special request! This canuxploitation slasher stars Jamie Lee Curtis in another enjoyable scream queen performance, but it's a cameo by legendary 80s magician David Copperfield that REALLY captures the guys' imaginations. His potential role in getting this movie made is just one of many theories shared in this episode, along with Charles Bronson's underwear preferences, nursing home romance, and what makes an effective fraternity prank - not to mention the superior sequel to this movie that COULD have been made. The train is absolutely packed and it's leaving the station, so make sure you're on time; this episode (featuring a beer from Railway City Brewing) is one you don't want to miss!

Cooper and Nolan are taking a trip to the Hamptons this week when they spend a WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S! This raucous 80s comedy was a video store staple when the guys were younger, but that doesn't mean it'll hold up today. Still, with phallic buildings, antiquated technology, and rigor mortis all entering the chat, there's definitely going to be stuff to laugh at.  So whether you're more of a Richard or a Larry, there's one thing we can practically guarantee: this episode (featuring a beer from Rogue Ales) is more fun than a day at the beach!

Cooper and Nolan are living up to their two star reviews this week when they unleash a big gooey helping of THE STUFF! The fact that the planetary threat in this movie is a white, viscous ooze definitely causes the guys to give in to their worst impulses. But despite getting swept away in a seemingly endless stream of juvenile humor, they still manage to weigh in on Cold War era paranoia, the addictive nature of social media, and the type of acting roles that were available to women in the 80s.  If you like satire (or marshmallows), then open wide; this episode (featuring a beer collaboration from the Mortalis and 450 North Brewing Companies) is one you'll definitely want to taste.

Cooper and Nolan are revving up for intense 90s action this week when they cover STONE COLD! What happens when former NFL linebacker Brian "The Boz" Bosworth goes undercover to bring down a notorious biker gang known as The Brotherhood? The answer involves fist fights, motorcycle chases, and a LOT of explosions. Like a ridiculous amount, and the guys are running through all of it. They'll also decide once and for all where The Boz ranks on the all-time list of football players turned actors, so come along for the ride; this episode (featuring a beer from El Segundo Brewing) definitely won't leave you cold.

It's franchise crossover Friday this week, when Cooper and Nolan get caught in the middle of Alien vs. Predator! Between the poorly developed characters, paint by numbers plot, and early 2000s CGI, it's easy to see why fans of the Alien AND Predator franchises were massively disappointed when this came out. But now, with almost 20 years of distance, the guys are looking at this movie with fresh eyes. Is it possible it isn't actually as bad as they remember? Or are they ignoring more warning signs than the crew of Charles Bishop Weyland's doomed expedition? Either way, this thing is a battle of two evils and humanity just might hang in the balance. Luckily for all of us, this episode (featuring not one but TWO beers from Dominion City Brewing Co.) is a winner no matter which side you're on.

Cooper and Nolan are making a deal with the devil this week, when they cover the remarkable tale of PETEY WHEATSTRAW! Podcast favorite Rudy Ray Moore puts his unique spin on the Faustian legend in this unforgettable piece of Blaxploitation filmmaking, and the results are as silly, sexy, and surreal as you would expect.  Not surprisingly, the guys have a lot of fun with this one, as they debate whether creativity can win out over an extremely limited budget, what exactly constituted proper funeral attire for the 1970s, and whether or not this movie was a good choice for Black History Month. With all that AND the incredible comedy stylings of Leroy & Skillet, this episode (featuring a beer from Clifford Brewing Co.) is one you won't have to sell your soul to enjoy.

Love is in the air this week as Cooper and Nolan spend Valentine's Day with THE BITCH! This sassy 70s audience request puts the scandalous exploits of the rich and famous on full display, giving a window into a world that most people have never known. The result is a disco-filled feast for the eyes (and ears), as the guys riff on swimming pool orgies, what it takes to get knighted, and the best way to rig a horse race. So get ready to put yourself out there; whether you're looking for love or just a good time, this episode (featuring a beer from ABE ERB Brewing Company) is sure to capture your heart.

Cooper and Nolan are heading into the eye of the storm this week when they talk HARD TO KILL! This early 90s Steven Seagal outing is absolutely LOADED with action movie clichés - montages, car chases, bad guys with terrible accuracy - not to mention a one-liner so great that it almost redeems a ridiculous script. (Almost.) Throw in an acting performance that can only be described as unbelievable and you've got the makings of a truly silly time that the guys agree absolutely belongs on this podcast. So if you've been sleeping on Seagal's career, it's time to wake up and shave your coma beard; this episode (featuring a beer from the Storm Stayed Brewing Company) might be hard to kill, but it's easy to enjoy!

Cooper and Nolan are trapped on an island of low-budget regional filmmaking this week when they cover ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES! This Connecticut curiosity boasts some of the worst acting and special effects that have ever been discussed on this podcast, but is the presence of puppets enough to make it an enjoyable watch? If the time the guys spend talking about the Titanic, men who love GILFs, and historic d**k bites are any indication, the answer is no! Either way, there's no need to tread lightly; this episode (featuring a beer from the Good Robot Brewing Company) is one creature you'll be glad to meet.