133 Anger and Aloneness

With an interest-based nervous system + AuDHD cyclical energy, the hardest tasks for us areBoringAnnoyingHigh Stakes and/orDifficultThe episode covers how and why they're difficult, and some starting points for each one.The steps from later in the episode:If you're struggling to start something, identify if it's Boring, Annoying, High Stakes, or Difficult.Give yourself compassion for why that makes this task hard to do right now, and tell yourself that you don't actually have to do it right now (this eases up some demand avoidance potentially)If your mind-body system offers a suggestion or solution, feel free to go for it! Otherwise, it's okay to set this aside for now and let your unconscious mind chew it over.If this is a time-sensitive or urgent task, do what you need to do to remind yourself to check back in in time: a timer, a calendar reminder, a prominent post it note etc.Now let your unconscious and your weird and creative brain work on this in the background while you rest or work on something easier. I love keeping a list of actually easy tasks for this purpose (which for me means the thing is straightforward and physically easy to do with a clear done point).AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're feeling angry lately, that makes a lot of sense! It's not a bad emotion. In fact, it can feel quite motivating to create change. But what if you are feeling isolated and/or don't have capacity to directly create that change right now? That's where nourishing and care work come in, even if they're only for you (for now).While I don't use the word self-care in the episode, that's in part the kind of nourishing I mean. Once your capacity is higher, you'll be able to build more. And the people doing the literal feeding and care work are just as much a part of the movement! AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes I mix up true desires with interests and hyperfocus. But what about the persistent and even lifelong interests? Where do they fit in?This episode is for anyone who wants to throw their life out the window and start over when in the throes of a new interest ;) You're not broken!AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This goes along with the interview about Embodied Exercise. For many people, the other side of that coin is eating. And rates of disordered eating are higher among Autistics, ADHDers (especially women), and trans and gender non-conforming folks.The episode only briefly touches on ARFID, an eating disorder more likely to affect autistic people for multiple reasons. If you know someone who could be an expert interview on ARFID, please send them my way.Oh another fun fact I didn't mention... it's possible that the "obesity epidemic" (unscientific nonsense) was literally caused by dieting. Yes, that's correlation, but damn it makes a compelling chart. (from Anti-Diet, book below)Mentioned in episode:Book Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison MPH RD*ep. 129 Embodied Exercise with Martha MunroeAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)*affiliate link Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people have one or two core self-care needs that, if they're met, everything else feels easier. This episode is about how to figure out yours... and what to look out for when you hear people preaching about their own!There's also acknowledgment that your neurodivergent body and brain may process things in different ways, so the following questions may not be that useful for you.Figuring out your core self-care need or needs (just a jumping-off point!): Thinking back to times in your life when things felt the easiest, what was your life like? Which of your needs were being met fairly well?When life has been a bit easier or better, did you notice any particular ups and downs based on particular needs being met? For example, if you were overall feeling pretty good compared to your baseline, was there anything that particularly threw you off? Or something that could bring you back to that feeling better pretty quickly?Tuning into your body right now, is there anything your body is asking for? This won't necessarily be a core need, it's more a check-in to see what messages your body is already good at giving you.Thinking about the past few days, weeks, or months, are there any messages your body has been consistently giving you? For example, when you've felt tired, does it feel more like you need sleep, or more like you need food, or more like you need to be around another person to recharge? Again, this isn't a perfect metric, just noticing how your body talks to you.Is there any form of self-care that feels like it REALLY fixes a bad day?Resources mentioned: Takedown of Why We Sleep: https://guzey.com/books/why-we-sleep/Commentary on the above post: https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2019/11/18/is-matthew-walkers-why-we-sleep-riddled-with-scientific-and-factual-errors/Transcript DocAnd one more link someone sent taking down the book Why We Sleep (I haven’t listened to this episode but the links alone look great): https://open.spotify.com/episode/4r0Vawq8xAfnsnKbYVUNhc?si=n7t-koeuS2GXQ2QnA8j4dQAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)Repost of ep 11, originally published Aug 18 2023 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it is what it isAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Martha Munroe, a neurodivergent personal trainer, was noticing patterns in the ways her clients talked about exercise and their bodies. They were often driven by external goals (aesthetics, performance, what others think) vs. the internal experience of movement.She reframes exercise as a way to explore and express through embodiment. Also, reclaiming exercise (not only movement) by offering gentle structure if desired.I loved her book, Attuned Exercise!Connect with Martha: Attuned Exercise websiteMartha's Instagram, @attunedexercisemarthamunroe.comAlso mentioned in episode (book I'm reading): Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against ThemselvesAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)book links are affiliate links Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting as an AuDHDer is challenging and misunderstood. Many parents I speak to are near or in burnout at any given time, especially if they had kids before discovering their neurotype (which is common). This episode is based not on my experience as a parent, but my experience having spoken and heard from many AuDHD parents, and what I see working for them.This is in part a follow up to last week's interview with Julie M GreenMentioned in episode:Book Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy* (and her Instagram)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)*affiliate link Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Julie M. Green is the author of Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance. She shares about how difficult early parenthood was, how different her autism presents versus her kid's, and navigating school and regulation skills.The book is a vulnerable look at some of the challenging and lighthearted moments of raising an autistic kid.Connect with Julie:Her book Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance Website: juliemgreen.caInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliem.greenSubstack: https://theautisticmom.substack.com/AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)*affiliate link Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You deserve to survive this. Please stay.And if staying out of spite helps you, it has gotten me through some tough times.My Medium article, "Please Stay, We Need You"Repost of ep. 75Crisis Resources:USA-based anonymous crisis chatInternational crisis linesVarious types of crisis resources in about 10 countriesResources:Transcript DocEmail NewsletterLike Your Brain community space Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.