Parenting, Part 2: Insecurely Attached Kids

Host Eden Hyder is joined by school counselor and educator, Melissa Hyder, to discuss how different attachment styles show up in students and how teachers can respond in ways that support connection, regulation, and learning.

Guest Christy Bauman and Eden discuss the intricate relationship between faith, mental health, and attachment through personal stories of depression, the loss of a child, and evolving beliefs. They consider how one's conception of God can change, particularly when influenced by attachment wounds.

In this episode, we explore how each Enneagram type may express secure or insecure attachment—through anxious, avoidant, or disorganized patterns. We’ll walk through all nine types, looking at their core motivations, relational stances, and what growth toward secure connection can look like.

Certified Gaming Disorder Therapist Jeremy Edge talks about the impact of screen use and how we connect and disconnect from the world around us in an increasingly tech infused world. We also unpack what healthy balance looks like for ourselves as adults and for our kids.

With Denaye Barahona, Ph.D, LCSW. Denaye and Eden reflect on their recent cross-country moves, the connection to home and the process of starting over.

Have you ever wondered why we love people who hurt us or treat us badly? Eden answers this question from an attachment perspective. ⁠We also so desperately want to do right by our kids, not mess them up, or damage the parent-child relationship. Knowing what to do and how to do it during high stress moments can be challenging, particularly if you are an insecurely attached parent yourself. Get tips on how to weather the tantrums of your young kiddos, and implementing consequences in helpful and meaningful ways.⁠

Michael and Eden add on to the last episode about relationships as they enter a conversation on parenting. They discuss their differences, struggles and strengths as anxious and avoidant attached. Through relatable stories, Eden and Michael share about times of feeling disconnected from their kiddos (rupture), the struggle and importance of reconnecting (repair) and, in between, building a foundation of positive interactions.

Eden dives into a more personal conversation with her husband, business partner and fellow therapist, Michael Hyder. Eden identifies as an Anxiously-Attached wife partnering with Michael, an avoidant-attached husband. Michael is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a licensed Supervisor and EMDR Certified Trauma Specialist who utilizes EMDR, Internal Family Systems and Polyvagal Theory in his work as a therapist and in life. Eden and Michael discuss their partnership, their relational patterns and how they have survived conflict and worked toward deeper intimacy in the relationship. Both Eden and Michael offer a honest picture of relationship and invite us all into the hard work of attaching deeply with others.   Michael’s Therapy Practice https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/about-michael-hyder-inside-out-collaborative-dallas   More about Polyvagal Theory https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/resources/Beginner's%20Guide.pdf   Michael’s Blog on EMDR & IFS (Internal Family Systems) https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/blog/anxious-part-exercise   Michael’s Blog on Healing Trauma through EMDR https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/blog/resolving-trauma-a-different-approach-to-healing-with-emdr   More about IFS (Internal Family Systems) https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline   More about Parts Work in IFS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuJLv98ks-I

After last week’s episode focused on the parents, this week Eden looks at insecurely attached kids. She addresses how each style presents in a toddler, elementary-aged child, and teen. She also suggests ways that we, as parents, can support our kids with a more secure attachment.    For more on mental health, relationships, and parenting, follow me on Instagram at @edenhyder or sign up for the Inside Out Collaborative newsletter.

Eden jumps into the topic of parenting with a couple key notes: 1) that insecurely attached parents are at higher risk for parenting struggles which makes doing this attachment work yourself all the more impactful, and 2) that as parents, we don’t have to be perfect — that our imperfect parenting can actually benefit our children. She then gives examples of what a parent with each attachment style (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized) looks like and tips on how to move toward security.    For more on mental health, relationships and parenting, follow me on instagram at @edenhyder or sign up for the Inside Out Collaborative newsletter.