LAT Curious? What to Consider Before you Jump

Are you LAT curious?  Do you wonder if becoming indepartners is right for you? In this episode, Lisa and Kurt examine this question from two perspectives: From those in an established cohabitating relationship and wondering if LAT is an attractive - or necessary - alternative, and from couples earlier in a relationship questioning whether living together as a next step is their best option.  Their answers are less about giving advice and more about providing questions to ask yourself in either scenario to better understand your motivations, communicate your intentions, handle the external skepticism, and navigate the logistics.  Living apart is not for everyone - but might it be right for you and your partner? The ideas here can help spark an intentional conversation to figure this out.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

We rarely talk about sex on the pod, but when we do, we go big!   We are thrilled to bring you an interview with Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Justin is a social psychologist and a Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute and former award-winning teacher at Harvard University.  He hosts the Sex and Psychology Podcast and authored the popular book Tell Me What You Want:  The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.  Justin shares his personal and professional strategies to keep long distance relationships both sexy and emotionally intimate. Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Lisa and Kurt discuss their tumultuous summer, marked by Kurt’s open-heart surgery in early July and their subsequent seven weeks together (a new Indepartners record!). As Kurt recovered at Lisa’s, the Indepartners had to navigate temporary new roles – worrywart caregiver and grumpy patient – and also figure out how to maintain and strengthen the best aspects of their regular relationship when they were now together 24-7. Over time, they relied on their own lessons from previous episodes like valuing independence, structuring communication, and creating rituals within their day-to-day life. Relive the adventure with them!Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

In this episode, Kurt and Lisa interview Dr. Laura Funk, a sociologist and social gerontologist who studies LAT couples living in the same metro area.  Dr. Funk shares themes of the meaning couples give to their relationship choices and how they build trust and communicate their commitment to themselves and others.  We also discuss the drive toward same-city LATs for older couples.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

What happens when two people visiting their home country go online looking only for something light and fun, but end up falling for each other?  The start of a great love story and an indepartnership!  Gloria and Igor share their fascinating story, taking them (at various times and in different combinations) from the Canary Islands, to Canada, to Arizona, to California. Learn about what they like best about their indepartnership, what they see as their biggest challenges, and where they hope to end up in the future.We had so much fun talking to these two wonderful people, and we know you'll have fun listening!Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

In this episode we bring you an interview with a twist:  Lisa and Kurt are the interviewees!  Social psychology relationship researchers Brie Muzzy and Brad Sagarin study various types of intentional relationships, such as polyamorous and power exchange relationships. A few years back while in the audience of one of their talks, Lisa recognized that she believed from their description of intentionality that purposeful long-distance relationships also fit the bill.  Brie and Brad expressed interest in learning more, and we decided to chop it up on the air!The result was a fun conversation seeded with personal anecdotes and research foundations. Brie and Brad’s intriguing questions allowed the Indepartners to think more deeply about many themes from prior episodes and stimulated new insights and food for thought.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Coming to you from the studio (Lisa) and his closet (Kurt), the Indepartners begin this episode talking a bit about their recent SIOP conference. SIOP is where they first met many years ago and still holds a special meaning to them as individuals and as a couple.  After the intense people-time at the conference and a grinding week finishing out their semesters, Lisa and Kurt are about to embark separate retreats. Learn a little bit more about why they do these retreats, the different frequency and focus of these retreats for each of them, who gets a pedicure and who doesn’t, and how an intentional focus as individuals also serves their relationship.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

The theme of independence appears in most episodes of Indepartners, but in this episode Lisa and Kurt go all in examining the (many) benefits and (some) challenges that come with independence in their personal lives and in their relationship. After defining the concept (hey, they’re nerds!), they talk about the joy and opportunity independence brings. And they share the occasional pushback they get for pursuing independence. They also touch on stumbling blocks that can happen when couples who are used to their independence spend extended time together. They get into the how living solo naturally fosters skills and capabilities for living independently that can help later in life. Finally, they end with some suggestions for intentionally considering and enabling needs for independence in cohabitating relationships.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

Kurt and Lisa are back for Season 2 of Indepartners, kicking off a month later than anticipated and with an episode they definitely didn't plan to start off the season with.Overnight and with no prior signs of trouble, Kurt started January 3 with some scary symptoms that turned out to be endocarditis, a bacterial infection in his heart. Lisa and Kurt tell the story of how his time in the hospital unfolded, how they pivoted their plans for January, and what happens when couples living apart are suddenly hit with a need to be closer together.Reflecting on this time, Kurt and Lisa realized how so many of their themes from the first season factored into this time of flux.Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com

And that’s a wrap!  After nine episodes of deep dives and wonderful guests, Kurt and Lisa hang out together (in the same studio!) to dish about the season and answer listener questions.  In their most unscripted episode yet, the indepartners each took a few notes on listener questions, but had no idea what the other was going to say.  Find out where they agree, where they disagree, and what they learned from their conversations this season.Kurt and Lisa are so incredibly grateful to the listeners who provided questions and to all of you who listened in this season (from 417 cities and 36 countries!).  Season Two will launch in 2026. Have any ideas for new topics?  Want to appear on the pod?  Please reach out!Thanks for listening!Original Indepartners theme song composed by David W.K. Johnson.Get in touch with us:Email:                          [email protected] or Voicemail:      504-313-4425 Follow our podcast on Instagram at @indepartnerspodcastFollow Kurt on Instagram at @urbankvrtFollow Lisa on Instagram at @doclisafink and online at demandtheshimmer.com