finding gratitude with Louise Rayner

I met Maxine in Nashville in 2024 and had her on the podcast to discuss the tension that can exist between staying true to your roots and honoring your individual truth, especially as it relates to her gender transition journey. She also shares so vulnerably about the recent passing of her father and the impact it has had on her.She mentions two poems in the conversation: We Wear the Mask by Lawrence Dunbar and The Mask by Maya Angelou.You can connect with Maxine on her instagram at @da_baddest_spencer.Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com⁠ or follow me on instagram at @toland1909.

I met Lathram Berry through organizing with Resource Generation Nashville, which is a part of a national organization that organizes young people (18-35) with access to wealth and class privilege in the U.S. to work towards the equitable distribution of wealth, land and power. In this conversation, we discuss her personal journey to confronting some of the class patterns she grew up with in a wealthy Nashville suburb, the experiences that helped her deconstruct them, and how Resource Generation played a role in her political education and redistribution story. You can learn more about Lathram's work on her website - https://www.lathramberry.com/She also shares her writing on her Substack - https://lathramberry.substack.com/If you would like to learn more about Resource Generation, fill out the intake form - https://resourcegeneration.org/join-rg/resource-generation-intake-form/Lathram is a 1/3 emotional manifesting generator and a pisces rising, virgo sun, leo moon.Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com⁠ or follow the podcast @after.the.tower

My friend Gabrielle and I have a conversation about her recent life shifting cancer diagnosis and how she is navigating the constant changes in her life as seeks treatment. We also discuss how overcoming major depression and contending with grief after the sudden loss of her mother inform how she is meeting this moment.You can read more about her journey on her Substack - https://gabriann.substack.com/Gabrielle is a 1/4 self-projected projector and a Cancer Rising, Leo Sun, and Scorpio Moon (conjunct Pluto). Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com or follow me on instagram at @toland1909.

This is a story I always thought I would tell on the podcast at some point. It's the story of my father dying in the September 11th terrorist attacks and everything that came after. I share my memories of that time, the surreal experience of having a private loss connected to a public event, and what lessons I've integrated from the experience. I'm a Leo Rising, Taurus Sun, Pisces Moon and I'm a 5/1 emotional projector.Music by ⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.comYou can book me for in-person readings at Cosmic Connections Nashville at yourcosmicconnections.com. If you want to share your story on the podcast, email me at [email protected].

Kelsey has been a teacher and mentor to me for a long time and was instrumental in helping me bring this podcast into being. So it was special to have her on as a guest. In this episode, Kelsey shares about the series of tower moments and transformations that led her out of a her job as a music teacher and into a new world as a spiritual entrepreneur.You can connect with Kelsey's work work on her podcasts: Maia Games, Lab Partners, and Living Your Design. You can also join her patreon for deeper study and community and go to her website if your curious to learn more.Kelsey is a 5/2 emotional manifestor and Sagittarius rising, Aries sun, and a Sagittarius moon.Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

Louise Rayner and I have know each other for a very long time and she holds such a special place in my heart. She was my family's nanny for 5 years of my childhood, but she has become a good friend. She shares about some significant moments in her life as well as talk more about the self development journey she’s been on. We also talk about changing self-limiting beliefs, manifesting the life you want, and finding gratitude even in the hard times. You can connect with her on instagram at @louiseraynerphotography or on her website.She is a 4/6 reflector and a Libra rising, Taurus sun, and Sagittarius moon.Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

Nicole BZ and I have a conversation about her experience with the shocking floods during Hurricane Helene in Asheville in October 2024. We talk about shifting identities, surrendering to grief, and alchemizing trauma and loss. She really shares so much wisdom in this one.You can connect with her work at nicolebz.com and you can listen to her podcast You Know Everything wherever you get podcasts.Nicole BZ is a 4/1 splenic projector and Sagittarius rising, Taurus sun, and a Cancer moon.Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

Arielle and I met at the ayahuasca retreat in 2023. In this conversation we talk about her experience with chronic illness, what led her to ayahuasca, and a experience of profound heartbreak in the aftermath. We also talk about being disconnected from the body, learning to let go of perfectionism, and reclaiming creativity.Arielle is a Peabody and GLAAD-nominated television writer and producer whose career has spanned Netflix, Prime Video, FOX, and Disney+. You can connect with her and her work on instagram at @she.is.that.Arielle is a 6/2 emotional generator and Virgo rising, Virgo sun, and Libra moon. Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

In this conversation, I speak with my old friend, Lesley Dudden, about the impact of the loss of her mom to cancer in her 20s after previously losing her father to ALS in her early teens. We talk about the haze of decision making after grief, why she has some regrets about that time, the Piscean desire to escape reality, and how her identity has changed in the years since. Lesley is a Cancer Rising, Pisces Sun, and Sagittarius Moon and a 6/2 emotional projector.You can connect with Lesley at @lesleykduddenMusic by ⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

In this conversation, Krysten Vazquez, who co-organized the trip to Peru where I first took ayahuasca, joins me to talk about the the decision to get divorced about a year after getting married. We talk about coping with severe anxiety, learning to trust your intuition, and reclaiming parts of the self we sometimes lose in the adulthood.You can connect with Krysten's work at ⁠elfaritohealing.com⁠ or ⁠@elfaritohealing⁠.Krysten is a Taurus Rising, Taurus Sun, and Capricorn Moon and a 2/4 sacral generator.Music by ⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com