114 - I'm Dreading The Holidays

Does the thought of the holidays leave you with a pit in your stomach?Because you're wondering what your husband's drinking might mean for Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's or the next family gathering.Will he drink? Will he keep his promise not to? Will you spend the whole day watching him? Will you need to make excuses?And perhaps, after a day that didn't go as badly as you feared, you find yourself saying, “Well, that wasn't too bad.”But when did simply getting through a celebration become the goal?We are talking about how we slowly change our plans, shrink our expectations and become very good at managing difficult situations - sometimes without realising how much we've given up.This isn't an episode full of holiday survival tips. It's an invitation to consider what you want your life to feel like, what you're no longer comfortable accepting and why you deserve support before things get worse.In this episode:Why holiday celebrations can create anxiety long before they beginHow managing a husband's drinking can become an invisible mental loadWhy the worst period of your marriage shouldn't become your benchmarkHow addiction can gradually change your ability to make plans and enjoy life👉 Ready to explore whether Pathway to Wellness is right for youBook a free, private Friendly Chat.We'll talk about what's happening for you, what you'd love to feel different and whether Pathway to Wellness could be the support you're looking for. No pressure, no obligation.👉 Interested, but not ready to chat just yet?Join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist. and I'll be in touch with more information.You don't have to wait for your loved one to change before you begin making changes for yourself.Because you matter too. 💛And if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected]🎧 Continue listening...Ep 77Holiday Series: Why Your Christmas Doesn’t Depend on Their SobrietyEp 76Holiday Series: What I Wish Someone Told Me Before Every ChristmasEp 75Holiday Series: Three Things You Can Control This SeasonEp 74Holiday Series: The Hidden Exhaustion of Loving Someone in AddictionEp 73Holiday Series: The Dread of Dr. Jekyll or Mr. HydeEp 72Holiday Series: When Everyone Thinks You’re Fine - But You’re Not Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If my husband would just stop drinking, everything would be okay.Have you ever found yourself thinking that?Maybe you've spent years hoping your husband will get sober. You've seen glimpses of the loving, funny, wonderful man you know him to be when alcohol isn't involved. And you're holding on to the belief that if he could just stop drinking, your marriage and family life would finally feel good again.Or perhaps your husband has stopped drinking.He's sober. He's making changes.But the relationship still doesn't feel the way you imagined it would.You're still carrying the responsibilities. You're still unsure whether you can rely on him. And you might be wondering whether you're expecting too much.In Episode 113 of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda talks about why sobriety can be a significant and hopeful milestone without automatically repairing a marriage.In this episode, we explore:Why we put so much hope into our husband's sobriety.The difference between stopping drinking and the broader work of recovery.What we're really hoping sobriety will give us.Why reliability, responsibility, connection and consistency matter.How to look at actions rather than relying on promises.Why rebuilding trust takes more than a certain number of sober days.How to begin making decisions about your own life without waiting for him to change.👉 Ready to explore whether Pathway to Wellness is right for youBook a free, private Friendly Chat. We'll talk about what's happening for you, what you'd love to feel different and whether Pathway to Wellness could be the support you're looking for. No pressure, no obligation.👉 Interested, but not ready to chat just yet?Join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist. and I'll be in touch with more information.You don't have to wait for your loved one to change before you begin making changes for yourself.Because you matter too. 💛And if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected]🎧 Continue listening...Episode 48 - Why Sobriety Isn’t the Finish Line: The Truth About Addiction & RelationshipsEpisode 66 - They Say They’re Sober… But You’re Still Not SureEpisode 67 - How to Rebuild Trust Without Turning Into a DetectiveEpisode 85 - The Part No One Talks About Series: Sobriety Doesn’t Fix the RelationshipEpisode 84 - The Part No One Talks About Series: When Sobriety Isn’t What You Expected Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if your life could start getting better, even if your loved one doesn't change?You can learn to trust yourself again, feel more confident navigating difficult moments, support someone you love without losing yourself, and start living your own life again.That's exactly what we work towards inside Pathway to Wellness, my three-month personalised coaching programme.Doors are open for our November intake! We begin on 10 November, and enrolment closes on 7 November.💜 There are two ways to take the next step:👉 Ready to explore whether Pathway to Wellness is right for you?Book a free, private Friendly Chat. We'll talk about what's happening for you, what you'd love to feel different and whether Pathway to Wellness could be the support you're looking for. No pressure, no obligation.👉 Interested, but not ready to chat just yet?Join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist. and I'll be in touch with more information.You don't have to wait for your loved one to change before you begin making changes for yourself.Because you matter too. 💛And if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected] you ever tried to talk to your husband about his drinking, only to end up apologising?You bring up something that's worrying you. Maybe it's how much he drank over the weekend, something he said or how his behaviour affected the kids.But suddenly the conversation isn't about his drinking anymore.It's about your tone. Your timing. How you're too sensitive, too critical or always making a problem out of everything.And you walk away wondering:Did I overreact?Should I have said it differently?Am I actually the problem?In Episode 112 of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda talks about what happens when a genuine concern gets turned back on you — and why these conversations can leave you doubting yourself.She also shares what can help you communicate more confidently, recognise when a conversation is no longer productive and take responsibility for your own response without taking responsibility for everything.In this episodeWhy conversations about your husband's drinking can become conversations about your reactionHow being told you're too sensitive, critical or demanding can leave you questioning yourselfWhy you might spend hours rehearsing the perfect wordsThe difference between owning your part in a conversation and taking responsibility for the whole problemWhy even excellent communication can't guarantee someone else's responseHow to recognise when it's time to pause a difficult conversationWhy you can be confident at work but feel completely unsure of yourself at homeWhat practical support can help Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if your life could start getting better, even if your loved one doesn't change?You can learn to trust yourself again, feel more confident navigating difficult moments, support someone you love without losing yourself, and start living your own life again.That's exactly what we work towards inside Pathway to Wellness, my three-month personalised coaching programme.Doors are open for our November intake! We begin on 10 November, and enrolment closes on 7 November.💜 There are two ways to take the next step:👉 Ready to explore whether Pathway to Wellness is right for you?Book a free, private Friendly Chat. We'll talk about what's happening for you, what you'd love to feel different and whether Pathway to Wellness could be the support you're looking for. No pressure, no obligation.👉 Interested, but not ready to chat just yet?Join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist. and I'll be in touch with more information and future opportunities to join.You don't have to wait for your loved one to change before you begin making changes for yourself.Because you matter too. 💛And if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected] don't have to solve everything that's happening with your husband before you can begin looking after yourself.Have you ever checked the alcohol bottles, replayed a conversation or searched for evidence of drinking - and then wondered what on earth has happened to you?Maybe your husband tells you one thing, but what you're seeing doesn't quite add up.Maybe everyone else sees a successful man and a lovely family, while you're at home questioning what happened, what was said and whether you can trust your own judgement anymore.If you've ever thought, I feel like I'm going crazy, this episode is for you.In Episode 111 of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares some of the things she did while trying to make sense of her husband's drinking — including weighing bottles, counting beers and checking hiding places.We explore how living with addiction and unpredictability can leave you constantly searching for answers, and how to begin trusting yourself again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been out with friends, laughing and enjoying yourself, then suddenly felt guilty because your husband is at home struggling?Or felt relieved to have a peaceful evening without him there - only to feel terrible for even thinking that?When you love someone struggling with alcohol or addiction, guilt can creep into the most unexpected moments.In Episode 110 of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares her own experience of losing touch with her happiness, including the heartbreaking moment she realised how long it had been since she'd heard herself laugh.We talk about the guilt that comes with loving someone who is struggling - and why you don't have to put your own life on hold to prove you care.In this episode:Why having fun or spending time with friends can leave you feeling guiltyFeeling bad for wanting space or enjoying the peace when your partner isn't homeThe heartbreak of seeing your children disappointed or living a different childhood from the one you imaginedWhy trying to make up for everything can leave you exhaustedFeeling guilty for still being hurt or unhappy when your husband is sober and working on his recoveryHow to distinguish guilty feelings from the things you're actually responsible forKeep listeningIf this episode resonates, explore these conversations next:Episode 109: Are You Waiting for Him to Get Better Before You Can Be Happy?Episode 107: They've Stopped Drinking. Why Are Things Still So Hard?Ready for support with the how?If you're carrying guilt, worry and responsibility and you're unsure what to do next, Amanda's eight-week group programme, Recovery Reclaimed Together, offers practical support for women who love someone struggling with alcohol or addiction.You don't need your partner to be sober, and you don't have to decide whether you're staying or leaving before getting support for yourself.Find out more about Recovery Reclaimed TogetherIt's my eight-week guided program for people impacted by a loved one's addiction, where we work through the everyday situations that can feel so difficult to navigate.With practical tools, group coaching and a supportive private community, you'll learn how to respond to challenging situations, understand what's yours to take responsibility for and start making changes that support your own wellbeing.You don't have to wait for your husband to stop drinking, admit there's a problem or go to rehab before you can get support for yourself.Find out more about Recovery Reclaimed TogetherAnd if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected] don't have to solve everything that's happening with your husband before you can begin looking after yourself. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you waiting for your husband to stop drinking before you can finally relax?Maybe he's working hard on his sobriety. Maybe he's been to rehab. Maybe you're watching for signs that this time will be different.You want to feel hopeful. But you're also exhausted.Because even when things are going well, there's still that question in the back of your mind: What if it doesn't last?And somewhere along the way, you might have started putting your own life on hold.The friendships. The hobbies. The plans. The things that used to make you feel like you.All waiting until things with him finally settle down.In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares why it's so easy to become consumed by a loved one's drinking or recovery - and what can happen when your own wellbeing starts depending entirely on how they're doing.In this episode, we talk about:Why you might still feel worried and exhausted even when he's making progress in recovery.How watching his moods, meetings and behaviour can take over your day.The hidden cost of waiting for things to get better before making plans for yourself.Why focusing on your wellbeing doesn't mean giving up on him.One small way to reconnect with the things you enjoyed before his drinking became such a big part of your life.You can love him, hope for his recovery and begin making changes for yourself. Those things can coexist.Ready for support with the how?If you're tired of checking, second-guessing yourself and feeling like your whole day revolves around whether your husband is drinking, I'd love to invite you into Recovery Reclaimed Together.It's my eight-week program for people impacted by a loved one's addiction, where we work through the everyday situations that can feel so difficult to navigate.With practical tools, group coaching and a supportive private community, you'll learn how to respond to challenging situations, understand what's yours to take responsibility for and start making changes that support your own wellbeing.You don't have to wait for your husband to stop drinking, admit there's a problem or go to rehab before you can get support for yourself.Find out more about Recovery Reclaimed TogetherAnd if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected] don't have to solve everything that's happening with your husband before you can begin looking after yourself. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your husband says he hasn't been drinking. But something feels off. You ask him, he says no, and now you're questioning yourself. How do you know what to believe when trust has been broken before?Maybe it's the way he's speaking. Maybe he's unusually chatty or quiet. Maybe his behaviour just doesn't seem quite right.So you ask him if he's been drinking.He looks you in the eye and says no.And now you're left wondering whether to believe him or trust what you're noticing.If you've been lied to about drinking before, it's understandable that you might find yourself questioning everything. You start watching his behaviour, checking for bottles, looking for clues and trying to work out what's really happening.And before you know it, you've become the detective in your own relationship.In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, we're talking about what happens when trust has been broken, why you might find yourself constantly checking for signs of drinking, and how to start rebuilding trust in yourself.In this episode, we explore:Why you might question yourself when your husband denies drinkingHow repeated dishonesty can leave you feeling confused and unsure of what to believeWhy you start checking, watching and looking for evidenceWhat to do when something feels wrong but you don't know for certain whether he's been drinkingWhy rebuilding trust in yourself matters just as much as rebuilding trust in your relationshipHere's something I really want you to hear:You don't have to know for certain whether he's been drinking before you can decide what feels okay for you.You can notice the behaviour, consider what you need and make decisions that support you, even when you don't have all the answers.And you don't have to figure out how to do that alone.Ready for support with the how?If you're tired of checking, second-guessing yourself and feeling like your whole day revolves around whether your husband is drinking, I'd love to invite you into Recovery Reclaimed Together.It's my eight-week program for people impacted by a loved one's addiction, where we work through the everyday situations that can feel so difficult to navigate.With practical tools, group coaching and a supportive private community, you'll learn how to respond to challenging situations, understand what's yours to take responsibility for and start making changes that support your own wellbeing.You don't have to wait for your husband to stop drinking, admit there's a problem or go to rehab before you can get support for yourself.Find out more about Recovery Reclaimed TogetherAnd if you're unsure whether it's right for you, you can email me at [email protected] don't have to solve everything that's happening with your husband before you can begin looking after yourself. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your husband has stopped drinking. Which is great.Maybe it's been six months, nine months or even a year.So why are you still walking on eggshells? Why do certain conversations still feel impossible? And why doesn't home feel the way you hoped it would?In Episode 107 of Addiction Makes Three, I'm talking about the difference between sobriety and recovery - because while they're often used interchangeably, they're not the same thing.We explore why stopping drinking is such an important milestone, but doesn't automatically rebuild trust, connection or emotional safety. And what recovery can start to look like through accountability, willingness to have difficult conversations and small steps towards repairing relationships.We also talk about something that's often overlooked: spouses and families need recovery too.If your loved one is sober but you're still feeling confused, disconnected or unsure what comes next, this episode is for you.If you'd like more support, you can explore my Discovery to Recovery programme or book a friendly chat with me. 🌿 Looking for more support?👉Discovery to RecoveryIf this episode resonated and you're wondering, "Where do I even begin?", Discovery to Recovery is your first step out of chaos and into feeling steady.Designed for partners and family members affected by addiction, this self-paced programme helps you move out of survival mode, understand what's happening, quiet the overwhelm, and begin making small choices and decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear.If you're feeling stuck, constantly overthinking, or unsure what to do next, this is where I'd encourage you to start.👉Recovery ReclaimedIf you've already begun that journey and you're ready for more practical tools, deeper understanding, and ongoing support, Recovery Reclaimed is your next step.Together we'll help you strengthen your boundaries, rebuild trust in yourself, gain greater clarity, and move forward with confidence—regardless of what your loved one chooses.👉 Pathway to WellnessIf you're ready for personalised coaching, live support, and a community of people who truly understand, you can join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist.This is my signature coaching programme, designed to help you reconnect with yourself, create lasting change, and build a life that no longer revolves around addiction.👉 Not sure where to begin?If you're unsure which path is right for you, you're always welcome to book in a friendly chat to talk it through.It's a private, no-pressure conversation where I'll listen to what's happening for you, help you make sense of where you are, and recommend what I believe would be your best next step.You don't have to keep carrying this on your own. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He has a good job. He's respected, successful, and everyone thinks he's a great guy.But behind closed doors? It's a different story.You're watching how much he drinks, walking on eggshells, and wondering whether tonight will be peaceful.And you keep asking yourself: Is my husband an alcoholic? Or am I making too much of this?In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores why alcoholism doesn't always look the way we expect, the confusion surrounding the term functioning alcoholic, and why finding the right label might not be the most helpful place to start.In this episode, we explore:Why someone's drinking can be a problem even when they appear to be functioningThe two very different versions of your loved oneWhy waiting for them to admit there's a problem can keep you stuckThe question that can help you begin moving forwardBecause it doesn't have to be a problem for them, for it to be a problem for you.🎧 Listen now, and if this feels familiar, you might also find Episode 2, The Blurry Beginning, helpful. And then Episode 5, What about us.🌿 Looking for more support?👉Discovery to RecoveryIf this episode resonated and you're wondering, "Where do I even begin?", Discovery to Recovery is your first step out of chaos and into feeling steady.Designed for partners and family members affected by addiction, this self-paced programme helps you move out of survival mode, understand what's happening, quiet the overwhelm, and begin making small choices and decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear.If you're feeling stuck, constantly overthinking, or unsure what to do next, this is where I'd encourage you to start.👉 Not sure where to begin?If you're unsure which path is right for you, you're always welcome to book in a friendly chat to talk it through.It's a private, no-pressure conversation where I'll listen to what's happening for you, help you make sense of where you are, and recommend what I believe would be your best next step.You don't have to keep carrying this on your own. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the most common things I hear from partners and family members is..."I don't know what to do anymore."If you've ever found yourself wondering:Should I stay or leave?How do I support someone with addiction?What boundaries should I set?Should I tell the kids?How do I know if I'm doing the right thing?...this episode is for you.Living alongside addiction is exhausting. You're often carrying the emotional weight of the family, trying to protect your children, making impossible decisions, and second-guessing yourself every step of the way.In this episode, I share why feeling confused doesn't mean you're weak or incapable. It often means you've been carrying far too much for far too long.We'll talk about:Why "I don't know what to do" is such a common experienceDecision fatigue and emotional overwhelmWhy clarity feels impossible when you're in survival modeThe hidden impact of hypervigilanceHow to stop trying to solve the next ten yearsA gentler question that can help you find your next stepIf you've been searching for answers while supporting a loved one with alcohol or drug addiction, I hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone.🌿 Looking for more support?👉Discovery to RecoveryIf this episode resonated and you're wondering, "Where do I even begin?", Discovery to Recovery is your first step out of chaos and into feeling steady.Designed for partners and family members affected by addiction, this self-paced programme helps you move out of survival mode, understand what's happening, quiet the overwhelm, and begin making small choices and decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear.If you're feeling stuck, constantly overthinking, or unsure what to do next, this is where I'd encourage you to start.👉Recovery ReclaimedIf you've already begun that journey and you're ready for more practical tools, deeper understanding, and ongoing support, Recovery Reclaimed is your next step.Together we'll help you strengthen your boundaries, rebuild trust in yourself, gain greater clarity, and move forward with confidence—regardless of what your loved one chooses.👉 Pathway to WellnessIf you're ready for personalised coaching, live support, and a community of people who truly understand, you can join the Pathway to Wellness waitlist.This is my signature coaching programme, designed to help you reconnect with yourself, create lasting change, and build a life that no longer revolves around addiction.👉 Not sure where to begin?If you're unsure which path is right for you, you're always welcome to book in a friendly chat to talk it through.It's a private, no-pressure conversation where I'll listen to what's happening for you, help you make sense of where you are, and recommend what I believe would be your best next step.You don't have to keep carrying this on your own. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.