Absolute Cuts - BEST OF Vol 1

"The painting was gift Todd" Episode 126 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 purple hearting, motorboating, under the table jerking classic Wedding Crashers. Ryan and Mark talk about cartels, the furore at the BAFTAS, and whether lying to get your hole is really that bad. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"Around me, if a woman don't wear mink, she don't wear nuttin'." Episode 125 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990 tommy gunning, tramp beating, flat-topping classic Dick Tracy. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's Valentine's Day card, joining the French foreign legion and why Warren Beatty is Hollywood's greatest shagger.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"How can you shoot a guy taking a dump? I mean, seriously, that's sacred" Episode 124 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Korean insulting, double crossing, cop snitching classic Street Kings. Ryan and Mark talk about how overrated cake is, the Superbowl and whether Keanu belongs on the Mount Rushmore of action stars.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" Episode 123 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1991 liver eating, jizz flinging, Buffalo Billing classic The Silence Of The Lambs. Ryan and Mark talk about Epstein island photographers, sleeping in an airport and why this film makes Jodie Foster out to be the sexiest woman alive.   Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"You can't handle the truth" Episode 122 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 Code Red-ing, softball bat thinking, Guantanamo Bay-ing,  classic A Few Good Men. Ryan and Mark talk about smelling your clothes, Netflix almost broadcasting a snuff film and whether murdering a Marine is ever okay.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets  https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"P-A-R-T-Y? Cos I GOTTA" Episode 121 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 red dress smouldering, wolf whistling, Cuban Pete-ing classic The Mask. Ryan and Mark talk about how pathetic Andrew Tate is, getting a hair in your mouth and why The Mask is the villain of this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets  https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"I steer a little bit, but the reindeer do most of the work" Episode 120 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2022 Santa vomiting, hammer wielding, chimney disembowling classic Violent Night. Ryan and Mark discuss Cullen's Dad committing crimes, the worst possible death imagineable and why Santa has a bigger kill count than most movie characters. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets  https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Here you go Cuts. The best of all the episodes so far. Our funniest clips so far as chosen by our wonderful patreons.    Apologies for our absence. This is due to circumstance massively out-with our control. All will be explained.    Mark and Ryan will be back next week with the last of your Christmas specials VIOLENT NIGHT and a patreon only episode where we tackle the classic BONE ALONE.

"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full" Episode 119 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 tree felling, sled crashing, cat frying classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Ryan and Mark discuss Mick McCarthy, why some kids shouldn't get Christmas presents and how Clark W Griswold is the horniest movie Dad. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets  https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

"PUT THE COOKIE DOWN, NOW" Episode 118 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 neighbour shagging, reindeer lamping, Turbomanning classic Jingle All The Way. Ryan and Mark discuss Christmas gigs, the World Cup draw and how this film has the most inappropriate character in any Christmas film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : [email protected] You can follow the podcast on social media here - Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod   Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.   The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -    Mark Links LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets  https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries Twitter : @marknelsoncomic Instagram : @marknelsoncomic Facebook : MarkNelsonComic Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree   Ryan Links NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP Twitter : @RyanCullen90 Instagram : @ryancullen90 Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy Tour Tickets  : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90 Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree