Cool as Ice

Road House is what happens when a philosophy major somehow becomes the world’s most overqualified bouncer. Every problem is solved with a flying kick, every villain has the emotional depth of a wet paper towel, and every line of dialogue sounds like it was carved into a truck stop bathroom wall. It’s wonderfully dumb, gloriously ridiculous, and somehow convinced an entire generation that bouncing was the most dangerous job on Earth.

Striking Distance is a textbook ‘90s thriller that stuffs Bruce Willis into a serial killer mystery so predictable you’ll probably guess the culprit long before he does. It’s packed with every action movie trope imaginable: from the rebellious cop to the inevitable twists, making it a fun but gloriously formulaic ride.

Hollywood saw Vanilla Ice at the top of the charts and collectively said, “Sure, why not?” They spent millions trying to convince us that the coolest man alive wore a leather jacket in July and spoke exclusively in catchphrases. Against all odds, Cool as Ice is somehow even worse than that sentence. This movie feels like someone lost the script, shrugged, and said, “Just have Vanilla Ice point at things and smirk.”

How did a man-child go from his comfortable home in the suburbs after his bicycle-obsessed big adventure to being a genetic scientist on his farm with his talking pig? We never could figure that out after watching Big Top Pee-wee.

Ghosts who can scare you bald and a psychotic art teacher who kidnaps children to create a sweatshop for manufacturing paint brushes out of human hair. We’re not joking. Today, we take a deeper dive into the 1985 Canadian film The Peanut Butter Solution.

In our inaugural episode, we take a closer look at Teen Wolf Too.