How To Relax The Need To Control Everything | Rosa Lewis

Why forcing the breath backfires and how to use the four elements to get out of your head. Breath meditation sounds simple in theory. In practice, many meditators find that the moment they pay attention to their breathing, it starts to feel forced, shallow, or just plain weird. In this live session, Dan and Sebene Selassie dig into why that happens — and what to do about it. They also answer subscriber questions on shame and how to work with it skillfully, the RAIN technique, breaking the cycle of rumination, and Sebene's beloved elements practice as a tool for embodiment. Plus: an unexpectedly lively digression on colonoscopy prep and the nature of being with discomfort. If you want to go deeper with Dan and Sebene, check out their Audible Original, Even You Can Meditate, available now.   Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!  To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

Plus: Navigating the "dark night of the soul," the power of saying "no," and how to be more present. Rosa Lewis is a mystic, awakening guide, artist and writer. She is the author of many books, most recently Unlocking the Depths of Being: Wholehearted Presence for a Mystical Reality. The last two meditations on this playlist are related to her book.   Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.  This episode is sponsored by: Function Health — 160+ lab tests a year for $365. Check your health the way Dan does at https://www.functionhealth.com/happier — use code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit Quo — The modern business phone system. Try free and get 20% off your first six months at https://www.quo.com/happier Samsara — AI-powered fleet safety and operations platform. Request a free demo at https://www.samsara.com/happier Wix — Build your website with AI in minutes at https://www.wix.com/harmony

Using your senses to reduce overthinking, turn down the voice in your head, and get out of what these scientists call "the house of habit." Dr. Zindel Segal is Distinguished Professor of Psychology in Mood Disorders at the University of Toronto Scarborough and a cofounder of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy.  Professor Norman Farb, PhD, is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto Mississauga, where he directs the Regulatory and Affective Dynamics laboratory. Together, they are the co-authors of Better In Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life.  In this episode we talk about: How the brain's default mode network is essential to our survival but also can keep us stuck in rumination and overthinking  Segal and Farb's simple practice of "sense foraging" and why they say it can help break patterns and thoughts that aren't serving us  The differences and the similarities between sense foraging and mindfulness  Related Episodes: Depression and Anxiety: Your Old Enemies, Your Best Friends | Zindel Segal — Ten Percent Happier  Gretchen Rubin on: How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari — Ten Percent Happier  Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

How to do your best work, reframe life's bullshit, and stop making your happiness hostage to outcomes. Maria Semple is the bestselling author of Today Will Be Different, Where'd You Go, Bernadette, and This One Is Mine. Before writing fiction, Maria wrote for TV. Her newest book is called Go Gentle. In this episode we talk about: Cognitive reframing tools to shift your mindset  Maria's daily Stoic routine The limits of Stoicism What to do when mediating gives you anxiety The danger of "baited bounties"  How to "get shit done" with non-attachment Using fantasy as a coping mechanism Related Episodes: Stoic Practices for Getting Rid of Mental Junk, Your Morning Routine, and Talking to the Dead | Ryan Holiday Stoic Advice for Handling Setbacks, Insults, and Death | William Irvine Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  William Irvine's "A Guide to the Good Life" Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here. This episode is sponsored by: Rosetta Stone — Language learning that's immersive and intuitive. Start your journey at https://www.rosettastone.com/happier ButcherBox — 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, and wild-caught seafood delivered to your door. New listeners get chicken breasts or top sirloin for a year, or ground beef for life, plus $20 off at https://www.butcherbox.com/happier   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Plus: maximizing the benefits of sleep, exercise, and meditation. To celebrate the show's 10th anniversary, we're producing episodes that share top 10 lists of practices, strategies and more from our favorite experts. A heartfelt thank you to everyone who has listened and supported the show over the years. None of this would be possible without you. Amishi Jha, PhD is the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience and a Professor of Psychology at the University of Miami. She is also the author of the bestselling book Peak Mind and the creator of the app Pushups for the Mind. Wendy Suzuki, PhD is the Dean of New York University College of Arts & Science and a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology at New York University. She is the author of the books Healthy Brain, Happy Life and Good Anxiety. In this episode: What neuroplasticity is, and why your brain is not fixed How exercise changes your brain, including mood, memory, and attention Reframing the burden of optimization  The minimum effective dose for meditation to improve attention Why sleep is essential for memory, brain cleanup, and long-term brain health The myth of multitasking How anxiety can be used as a tool instead of just something to avoid How your daily habits are shaping the brain you'll have tomorrow Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.  This episode is sponsored by: Gainbridge — Guaranteed-rate financial products with no hidden fees. Learn more at https://www.gainbridge.com Warby Parker — Prescription glasses, contacts, and sunglasses with virtual try-on. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at https://www.warbyparker.com/happier BetterHelp — Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

The way you talk to other people (and yourself) can reduce dysregulation and distraction--and lead to better decisions. Maryellen MacDonald is the Donald P. Hayes Professor (emerit) of Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Wisconsin−Madison. She is a cognitive scientist with a focus on psycholinguistics, the study of how we comprehend, produce, and learn languages. Her latest book is More Than Words: How Talking Sharpens the Mind and Shapes Our World. In this episode we talk about: The hidden benefits of talking, including self-talk and writing How talking helps focus attention and clarify your thinking Why talking can help regulate emotions and improve decision-making Why talking is actually harder than listening Why we shouldn't rush to finish other people's sentences How deliberate talking can help protect against dementia Why understanding something doesn't necessarily mean you've learned it How talking about new information helps your brain remember it Why explaining things to other people deepens your own learning Why kids need chances to talk and not just watch screens Why you shouldn't judge people by how they talk Related Episodes: The Science Of Journaling: How Writing Reduces Overthinking, Rumination, And Anxiety | Dr. James Pennebaker (Co-Interviewed By Dr. Bianca Harris) Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.  To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

What does it actually mean to "trust life" — especially when life is handing you something genuinely hard? In this Meditation Party episode (originally aired in 2024), Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren dig into that question from multiple angles: as a personal mantra, a philosophical stance, and a daily practice. Plus: listener questions on rumination, work-life balance, and the eternal napping-vs.-meditating debate. "Trust Life" vs. "This Is the Curriculum" — Sebene shares the origin of her tattoo and what the mantra has meant through years of health challenges.  The three timescales of practice — Jeff breaks down how meditation works in the moment, over months and years, and across the arc of a whole life. The third one is where things get interesting. Obsessive thinking / rumination — Practical tools from all three, including one from Sebene involving a trampoline, and one from a clinical psychologist that will make you feel ridiculous in the best way. Sebene Selassie describes herself as a "writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo." She teaches meditation on the ten percent happier app and is the author of a great book called You Belong. She's based in Brooklyn.  Jeff Warren is also a writer and a meditation teacher. He and Dan co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. He also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast. He's based in Toronto.  Related episodes:  How to Stay Calm No Matter What's Happening | Sebene Selassie and Jeff WarrenScience-Based Tools for When You're Stressed, Obsessed, or Overthinking | Dr. Jenny Taitz Get the 10% with Dan Harris app hereSign up for Dan's free newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokSubscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Strategies for getting out of your head and thriving in a chaotic world. Prentis Hemphill is a writer, political organizer, therapist and somatic facilitator. They are the author of the national bestseller What It Takes to Heal: How Transforming Ourselves Can Change the World, and host of the acclaimed podcasts Finding Our Way and Becoming the People. Prentis is also the Co-founder of The Embodiment Institute (TEI), a training and research organization that applies somatic practices to individual, organizational and collective care through a healing justice framework. In this episode we talk about: What embodiment really means   How our bodies may be communicating more information to our brains than we realize Practices to feel more at home in your body and regulate your nervous system The "head, heart, gut" way of listening to different kinds of intelligence Why so many of us are pulled out of our center in modern life Micro-interdependence  Simple, everyday ways to humanize one another in an era of mass vilification  How cultural pressures contribute to anxiety and burnout How to set boundaries Identifying what you truly care about Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.  Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel This episode is sponsored by: Rosetta Stone — Language learning that's immersive and intuitive. Start your journey at https://www.rosettastone.com/happier Fatty 15 — The first essential fatty acid discovered in over 90 years, designed to support healthy aging at the cellular level. Get 15% off a 90-day starter kit at https://www.fatty15.com/happier with code HAPPIER To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

Practical tools to break "automatic habits" and take back your agency.   Gabor Maté is a retired physician who, after 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience, worked for over a decade in Vancouver's Downtown East Side with patients challenged by drug addiction and mental illness. The bestselling author of five books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Gabor is an internationally renowned speaker highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, childhood development, and the relationship of stress and illness.    In this episode we talk about: Practical strategies for dealing with both our addictive tendencies and scattered minds The real question to ask yourself when it comes to addiction  Maté's relationship with ADHD The relationship between ADHD and addiction Tools for conscious harm reduction  The practice of "Compassionate Curiosity" "Re-parenting" practices for your nervous system  And more   Related Episodes: Modern Life Is Making You Sick, but It Doesn't Have To   Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources: Rethinking ADHD The Myth of Normal Scattered Minds Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

Buddhist tools for forgiveness, boredom, worry, and getting out of your head. Meditation teacher Bart van Melik leads a live community Q&A — and the questions that come in are ones most meditators have quietly wrestled with for years. Bart is the guiding teacher at Community Meditation Center in New York, where he leads weekly sessions grounded in Buddhist tradition. In this episode, he takes on four of the most common sticking points in practice: forgiveness, boredom, disconnection from the body, and the spiral of anxious "what if" thinking. His approach throughout is warm, precise, and grounded — less about achieving a particular state and more about learning to hold whatever arises with curiosity and kindness. Topics covered: Forgiveness — why forcing it can backfire, what it means to "bypass" difficult emotions, and the reframe that changes everything: forgiveness as giving up all hope for a better past Boredom — how to get genuinely curious about it instead of fighting it, and what it can teach you about why you reach for your phone Getting into your body — why embodiment looks different for everyone, and how to find the activities (yes, even mindful salsa dancing or vacuuming) that make it easier Worry and "what if" thoughts — the Buddhist framing of worry as an obstacle to clear seeing, and a simple breathwork technique from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche — exhale heavy, exhale calm — that works even in the hardest moments Community as practice — the Buddha's teaching that friendship and community isn't half the path. It's the whole thing.   About Bart van Melik: Bart van Melik is a meditation teacher and guiding teacher at Community Meditation Center, a global and local community that meets weekly via Zoom. Monthly sessions are donation-based and open to all. Learn more at https://www.cmc-ny.org/. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan and Emmy Award-winning journalist Allison Gilbert at 92NY on May 17th for a live conversation about how mindfulness can deepen connection and combat loneliness, available in person and via streaming. Register here. Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here.   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris