How Lying To Yourself (A Little) Can Improve Your Relationships and Make the World Feel Less Insane | Shankar Vedantam

How to do “shadow work,” interpret your dreams, and find your “self.” Satya Doyle Byock is a psychotherapist and educator focused on the relationship with the unconscious. She is the director of The Salome Institute of Jungian Studies and the author of the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood. She writes weekly and hosts regular workshops on her Substack, Self & Society.  In this episode we talk about: The vast impact of Carl Jung’s work What separates Freud and Jung The connection between Jung’s ideas and Buddhism Practical exercises to help us resolve the tension between safety and meaning – between stability and taking a walk on the wild side Dreamwork: what it is, why we should do it, and the “how to” The perks of making the unconscious feel seen  Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Satya’s Substack, Self & Society.  Satya’s new year-round program in Jungian Psychology and Myth (registration opens December 1; class begins February 2026) Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here!  To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

Listening to your body… easier said than done? Sebene Selassie is here to help.  All this month, we’re sharing custom guided meditations from our teacher of the month, Sebene Selassie exclusively available at DanHarris.com. Like any good drug dealer, the first taste is free – so today, we’re giving you a sample of what you can expect for the rest of the month. Related Episodes:  Sebene Selassie On: Resiliency, Rewriting Your Patterns and Finding a Teacher Who Speaks to You   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more at eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025. Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here!   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors:  Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.  BetterHelp: If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/Happier. 

Every year, Joseph Goldstein does a three month silent meditation retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. In this conversation you're about to hear, Joseph had just emerged from one such retreat with a bunch of thoughts on what are called the three proliferating tendencies or three papañca to use the ancient Pali term.  These are three ways in which we perpetuate an unhealthy sense of self. Joseph has explained that you can think about the process of going deeper in meditation as a process of lightening up or getting less self-centered. You're about to get a masterclass in doing just that.  For the uninitiated, Joseph is one of the co-founders of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. His co-founders are two other meditation titans, Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Joseph has been a teacher at IMS since it was founded in the seventies and he continues to be the resident guiding teacher there.  In this episode we talk about: The framework for understanding the three proliferating tendencies; the basic building blocks of our experience in the world Six things that make up what the Buddha called “the all”  What non-self means and why it's essential to the Buddhist teaching of liberation The two levels of truth: conventional and ultimate Why language is so important in conditioning how we experience things  How the three proliferating tendencies provide a very practical guide to understanding how we manufacture our own suffering   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here!  To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thank you to our sponsor: Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.  

The antidote to a noisy, chaotic world. Pico Iyer is the acclaimed and bestselling author of more than a dozen books translated into twenty-three languages, most recently the nationally bestselling Aflame: Learning from Silence.  In this episode we talk about: Why and how Pico found himself spending a lot of time at a silent monastery What he’s learned about the power and potency of silence  Why so many of us fear silence When silence is a tonic, and when it’s a weapon or shield  Why taking time out of your life is deeply beneficial — both for you and the people around you  How Pico takes what he learns at the monastery into his daily life  A wise approach to the news  Travel as a tool for transformation Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources:  Pico Iyer Journeys Pico Iyer TED Talks   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here!   Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here!    To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

The psychology and neuroscience of revenge.   James Kimmel, Jr. is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, an expert on revenge, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He is the creator of The Nonjustice System, the Miracle Court app, and SavingCain.org for recovering from grievances and revenge desires and preventing mass violence. His most recent book is The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World’s Deadliest Addiction—and How to Overcome It. In this episode we talk about: The horrific and violent bullying he endured as a child—which provoked his interest in the subject of revenge The connection between revenge and addiction  Our evolutionary programming for revenge Practical strategies for when you feel wronged How to seek justice without revenge An antidote to revenge cravings And much more Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

We’re in the midst of an exciting evolution of the overall 10% Happier project. In our quest to make this podcast more actionable – to help you operationalize all the game-changing ideas you encounter on this pod – we’re now offering guided meditations to accompany each full episode of the show, available to paid subscribers at DanHarris.com. For the month of October, those meditations will come from Sebene Selassie, a Buddhist teacher in the Insight Meditation tradition.  In this episode, you’ll hear our executive producer, DJ Cashmere, in conversation with Sebene, who shares her backstory: how she first came to Buddhism and meditation, some of the challenges in her life, and what she hopes to bring to the 10% Happier community this month.  Related Episodes: Sebene Selassie, a Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer Discomfort: A Counterintuitive Source of Hope | Sebene Selassie Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here!   Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here! Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris   Thanks to today’s sponsor: Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.  

A playbook for finding financial success without compromising your values.   David Gelles is a bestselling author and a climate correspondent for The New York Times. His new book, "Dirtbag Billionaire," reveals how Yvon Chouinard turned Patagonia into one of the world's most remarkable companies.    In this episode we talk about: What a ‘dirtbag’ means  The innovative ways in which Chouinard ran his company  The question of whether or not capitalism can be “done right” How to talk to your kids about about capitalism  Whether or not capitalism and the Dharma can co-exist Advice on how to live in a capitalist system How much time the species has left before we need to get our shit together on climate And more Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  David’s first 10% Happier interview Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris. Thanks to today's sponsors: Stitch Fix: Get started today with stitchfix.com/happier and get 20% off your first order when you buy five or more items. Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.  

How to stay calm and steady in uncertain times. Trudy Goodman, Ph.D., is the founding teacher of InsightLA and cofounder of The Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. Trudy has trained in mindfulness and Zen since 1973, holds a graduate degree in developmental psychology from Harvard, and is widely known for her role as the voice of Trudy the Love Barbarian in the Netflix series The Midnight Gospel.  In this episode we talk about: How to trust yourself  Why Trudy is interested in this topic of self-trust Why Trudy doesn’t love the word “enlightenment”, but does want to make the concept more accessible What self-love does — and doesn’t — look like, especially in a Buddhist context Staying steady in uncertain times Intuition and trusting yourself  The importance of getting out of your own bubble and differentiating between your opinions and values  The connection between forgiveness and trusting yourself   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources:  InsightLA  How to Thrive in Love: Buddhist Secrets to Transform Your Relationships with Jack Kornfield and Trudy Goodman Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Anyone with a passing familiarity with Buddhism will know that “delusion” is rarely, if ever, mentioned in a positive way. In fact, the Buddha included delusion (aka: confusion about the way things really are) on his list of “the three poisons.” The whole point of meditation, per the Buddha, is to uproot delusion -- along with greed and hatred. Only then can you be enlightened. My guest today is here to valiantly make the case that delusion -- or self-deception -- has an upside. Many upsides, in fact. While he concedes that self-deception can, of course, be massively harmful, he argues that it also plays a vital role in our success and wellbeing, and that it holds together friendships, marriages, and nations. Understanding this, he says, can make you happier, more effective, and -- crucially -- more empathetic with people with whom you disagree. Shankar Vedantam is the host of the popular podcast and radio show Hidden Brain. His latest book is called Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain. In this episode we talk about: the many ways our brains filter and alter our perception of reality why we evolved for a robust capacity to lie to ourselves and how his research on delusions has colored his view of the chaos and confusion of our modern world.    Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris   SPONSORS:  Bumble: Thinking about dating again? Take this as your sign and start your love story on Bumble.    AT&T: Staying connected matters. That's why AT&T has connectivity you can depend on, or they will proactively make it right. Visit att.com/guarantee for details. Odoo: Discover how you can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com. Modern management made simple.  

From The Way Out Is In, the official podcast of Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village tradition, co-hosted by frequent 10% guest Brother Chan Phap Huu and leadership coach Jo Confino. In this installment, Brother Phap Huu and Jo discuss the true meaning of Zen, finding beauty and meaning in simplicity, and how to practice so in everyday life. Also, what does it mean to be part of a Zen tradition? And how do we practice Zen? How do we see the world ‘through the eyes of Zen’? The conversation also touches upon the cultivation of mindfulness, concentration, and insight; the importance of humility; finding beauty in the mundane; the sacredness of objects and spaces; the role of rituals and routines; the balance between sophistication and simplicity in one’s spiritual practice; and much more. The episode concludes with a short meditation, guided by Brother Phap Huu, on being present and grateful for the wonders of life. Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here!   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris SPONSOR:  Odoo: Discover how you can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com. Modern management made simple.