348. Greatest Hits: How to Know What You Want

So many women think there’s something wrong with their sex drive, when the real issue is how they’ve been taught to relate to their body. In this episode, I sit down with sex coach Laura Jurgens to explore why low libido is not just a mindset problem or a medical issue, and how repeated experiences, socialization, and nervous system patterns shape your relationship with intimacy.If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your desire or unsure how to create a more fulfilling sex life, this episode will help you see what’s actually getting in the way. You’ll learn how to reconnect with your own preferences, communicate what you want, and build a sense of safety and agency in your body so intimacy can feel more natural and enjoyable.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/488Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilLearn more about Laura's work here: laurajurgens.comGrab Laura's free guide, Get Out of Your Head, here: laurajurgens.myflodesk.com/h1zqbvc842Mentioned in this episode:FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A CoachThe world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethingsClick here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Do you struggle to feel at peace with your body when you gain weight? Or worry that gaining weight will result in health issues? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I invite you to challenge the beliefs that weight is synonymous with health and that health is synonymous with morality (spoiler alert, it's not).Then, I tackle a listener question about unclear work expectations and how that impacts their perceived success in the role. I show you how to step into clarity and confidence so you can take action on what matters most and stop feeling frustrated by things that are out of your control.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/487Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever gotten so close to a goal, and then one thing to goes wrong, and your brain immediately decide the whole thing was a mistake? That moment right before the finish line is where so many people quit. In this episode, I introduce a concept I call The Last 5% and showing you why your brain is most likely to turn progress into proof that you’re not capable right when you’re closest to getting the result you want.If you’ve ever stopped just short of what you wanted or told yourself all your effort didn’t count because you didn’t get the final result, this will change how you approach your goals. You’ll learn how to stop making setbacks mean something about you, figure out what’s actually left to solve, and keep moving forward from experience instead of starting over.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/486Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A CoachThe world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethingsClick here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Does your brain go straight to worst-case scenarios when you think about someone you love, and make you feel like it’s your job to prevent them all? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through intense anxiety about their child’s future and explain why believing you are responsible for everything that could happen is what’s actually creating the panic.Then I answer a question about staying motivated during a job search, and why trying to force motivation when you don’t know what you want is never going to work. If you struggle with anxiety about others or feel unmotivated when pursuing your goals, this episode will show you how to question the beliefs creating pressure and fear, and how to move forward from a place of clarity instead of self-judgment.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/485Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever tell yourself, “What I’m doing isn’t enough, so I might as well not bother”? That thought is exactly what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode, I’m teaching one of my favorite concepts for getting out of overwhelm and into action: The Infinite 1%. You'll see why doing a little is actually everything. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by how far you have to go or waiting until you can do something perfectly, this is going to change how you think about progress. You’ll learn why your brain dismisses small actions, how that keeps you in inertia, and what it looks like to build real momentum by actually doing something instead of nothing.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/484Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A CoachThe world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethingsClick here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Why is it so hard to let go of something that happened years ago, even when you know it shouldn’t matter anymore? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through what it really takes to release an old grudge without pretending it didn’t hurt.Then I answer a question about attractiveness and the belief that you can control whether other people are attracted to you based on how you present yourself. If you’ve been holding onto resentment or trying to control how others see you, this episode will help you understand why those patterns aren’t working and learn how to shift out of them.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/483Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you keep telling yourself you’ll finally get it together tomorrow, once you feel more ready, more clear, or more “on top of things”?In this episode, I revisit two of the most powerful patterns that keep you stuck: perfectionist fantasies and tomorrow thinking. I break down how your brain convinces you that the reason you’re not taking action today is because conditions aren’t ideal yet, and how it sells you the idea that tomorrow will be different. This episode will show you how to stop waiting for a perfect future version of yourself and start taking action as the imperfect human you already are.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/482Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A CoachThe world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethingsClick here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Are your thoughts during sex preventing you from reaching orgasm? This is a super common struggle for people socialized as women. We worry about taking too long or our partner getting bored or tired, and those thoughts are exactly what get in the way. In this week’s Coaching Hotline episode, I show you why trying to rush or fix the experience makes it harder, and how to start shifting the thoughts that are creating the pressure in the first place. Then I coach someone who feels like there simply isn’t enough time to be a good lawyer, a present parent, and take care of herself. If you’ve ever felt rushed, behind, or like you’re failing to keep up, this episode will help you see how your thoughts about time and productivity are actually creating that pressure. You’ll learn how to question those beliefs and change your experience without needing more time or different circumstances. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/481Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you built your entire life around waiting for motivation to text you back? In this episode, I explain why motivation is a fuckboy and why relying on it is the reason you start and stop, stall out, or never follow through on the things that matter most to you. Motivation feels amazing when it shows up, but it disappears the moment things get hard or uncomfortable, and when you treat it like a prerequisite, you give something unreliable total control over your progress. If you’ve been waiting to feel ready, excited, or inspired before you take action, this episode will help you understand why that strategy isn’t working. You’ll learn how to stop organizing your life around motivation and start following through from a place that is far more reliable, so you can actually create results whether motivation shows up or not. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/480 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilMentioned in this episode:FREE GUIDE: The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming A CoachThe world needs coaches. The world needs our work. The world needs your specific perspective, your experiences, your special sauce. Even if you don’t know that yet, I do. And I want to help you get there. Download this guide at https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/threethingsClick here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Do you worry that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or a bad person? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why what you’ve been taught to call “politeness” is often just people pleasing in disguise, and how that conditioning keeps you stuck in self doubt. Then I answer a question I hear all the time in different forms, what do you do when you understand thought work but you still can’t change your thoughts? I explain why you are not missing a tool, why nothing has gone wrong, and why this frustrating in between stage is actually a normal and necessary part of the process. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/479Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/