This Is Why We Fight

Have you ever had a fight with someone that starts off small but then suddenly turns super personal, like you’re back in primary school, trading playground insults? In this episode of But Are You Happy, clinical psychologist Dr. Anastasia Hronis shares how to have what I call a “good fight” — one that’s free from criticism, defensiveness, and all those traps we fall into when emotions run high. You'll also learn: What a bad fight looks like  The difference between expressing a complaint and criticising someone The types of negative communication How to have a "good fight" that's fair and respectful  Watch the podcast on YouTube here.  If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.  Want to get in touch with us? DM @butareyouhappypod on Instagram or send us a voice memo. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas—think of it as free therapy! CREDITS: Hosts: Ashani Dante & Dr Anastasia Hronis Executive Producer: Naima Brown Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman Audio Producer: Jacob Round Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This mum & daughter have been asked to reflect on the default behaviours that keep them stuck in the unhelpful dynamic they’re in when conflict arises, and what to seek more positive and helpful behaviours that foster connection and communication. This session explore how trauma, mental health challenges and other diagnoses can impact even our closest relationships, and what real repair looks like.  Listen to Part 1 of Leisel & Ellie's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Leisel & Ellie used to be quite close, the kind of mother and daughter that shared clothes and loved spending time together. But, after a series of traumatic events, they went through a long period of estrangement and miscommunication that left them both heartbroken. They’re hoping that therapy can help them rebuild and repair their relationship. Listen to Part 2 of Leisel & Ellie's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Beth & Wayne have been asked to examine how co-dependancy, emotional frustration and a low-tolerance for conflict actually create more miscommunication in their marriage, often including Beth stepping in to "over function" while Wayne keeps his feelings to himself. Can they break these cycles and find their equilibrium again?  Listen to Part 1 of Beth & Wayne's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here. $21 off - Mamamia’s massive Black Friday Deal.Get an all access pass to Mamamia for just $48. Enjoy $21 off a yearly subscription, ends 1 December 2025! Use the discount code: WHYWEFIGHTFRIDAYSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Beth & Wayne are in a happy marriage, and consider each other best friends. But, even the healthiest relationships can take a tumble when unforeseen changes enter the picture, and this is what happened when Wayne was suddenly dealing with immense chronic pain, and Beth finally received an ADHD diagnosis. Add to this the pressures of raising their young son, and somewhere in the midst of it all, they lost their ability to communicate easily with each other, and to really understand where each other is coming from. Listen to Part 2 of Beth & Wayne's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here. $21 off - Mamamia’s massive Black Friday Deal.Get an all access pass to Mamamia for just $48. Enjoy $21 off a yearly subscription, ends 1 December 2025! Use the discount code: WHYWEFIGHTFRIDAYSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do siblings who have drifted so far apart find their way back to each other? Especially when they have very different ideas about how their foundation fractured in the first place. In this session, Gwen and Carla share things about themselves that they've not shared before - will it be enough to bring them closer, and begin to heal their rift?  Listen to Part 1 of Carla & Gwen's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Family estrangement can be an extremely painful experience - something that sisters, Carla and Gwen, know all too well. While they were closer in their younger years, an adult relationship has been challenging for them both, and now they very rarely speak or see each other. Can Sarah help Gwen & Carla to repair their broken sisterhood?  Listen to Part 2 of Carla & Gwen's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Long-term partners, Sam & Emma, are working on reconnection, clarifying their priorities, and trying to find alignment about what’s next for them after their kids move out of home.  Emma was tasked with reflecting on her needs moving forward, and to share them with Sam in this session. Sam was asked to write down tangible actions he could take to prioritise his relationship with Emma. Will these exercises bring them closer together? Or will it reveal their different visions for the future?  Listen to Part One of Emma & Sam here. Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Emma & Sam have been together for many years, raising four kids in a blended family. With the last teenager about to move out of house, Emma & Sam are looking down the barrel of an empty nest, with only the two of them. But, Emma isn't sure if Sam wants the same future as she does, and he's already shown signs of drifting away, leaving Emma to wonder if they'd both be happier apart.  Listen to Part 2 of Sam & Emma's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ethan and Mel are learning how their previous relationships have shaped them, and how their very different emotional and cultural backgrounds impact their relationship. In this session, they address the patterns and behaviours that have caused them to break-up in the past, and decide whether or not to give it one more go.  Listen to Part 1 of Ethan & Mel's sessions here.  Resources (Australia-only) 1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service. Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention. Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice. Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities. The End Bits Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here.  Host: Sarah Bays Executive Producer: Naima Brown Studio Engineer: Lu Hill Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.