201: What if you believed it was all your fault?

A Thai-Filipino-American man fulfills his life-long dream of escaping his chaotic past and joining the Army, but after lingering scars from multiple deployments to Iraq threaten to destroy him, he finds an unexpected awakening. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsContent/Trigger Warnings: war, graphic violence, murder, graphic bodily injury, suicidal ideation, domestic violence, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” – Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Growing up with a narcissistic father, a woman learns to play small, but one night when an unknown masked man enters her room, she faces the worst night of her life, and emerges on the other side with a new found ferocity. Today’s episode featured Danielle Leukam. You can learn more about Danielle on her website, danielleleukam.com. And you can find her on Instagram @danielleukam, as well as Twitter and Facebook. You can also learn more about her story in her two memoirs, Four Pounds of Pressure: A Memoir of Rape, Survival, and Taking Back My Power https://amzn.to/3QHxMJW and Another Four Pounds of Pressure: Case Files, Statements, & a Survivor's Redemption https://amzn.to/49I0umr, and lastly, you can check out her novella The First Sister: A Dangerous Bloodline, https://amzn.to/3TjLaXq, as well as the two children’s books she’s authored. Danielle now works full-time at the Mayo Clinic. She is passionate about public speaking, writing, and advocating against sexual violence. And she also the president and founder of a non-profit organization called WISH: We Inspire Survivor Healing. Learn more about WISH on their website WeInspireSurvivorHealing.comProducers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger Warnings: rape, violent assault, child endangerment, gun violence, alcoholism, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When ex-Bunny girl Jayne Gaskin spots the desert island of her dreams for sale online, she decides to risk it all. Trading in their English village home, Jayne and her family relocate to their own private paradise, just off the coast of Nicaragua. And a reality TV crew follows them to film a new show, No Going Back. But soon they all discover that paradise has its secrets. The locals claim the island belongs to them, and it’s been sold illegally. Jayne’s not leaving without a fight. A fight that will soon turn deadly.Hosted by Alice Levine.Listen to The Price of Paradise on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/links/the-price-of-paradise/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After his mother falls in love with Frank, the member of a one-hit-wonder 80s band, a man’s life becomes a roller coaster of neglect, scams, and chaos, but when he turns the camera on the inside of his family, a new world opens he never thought possible. Today’s episode featured GJ Echternkamp. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email at [email protected]. You can find GJ’s documentary, “frank and Cindy” from 2007, as well as his feature film, also titled “Frank and Cindy” from 2015, both on Netflix. You can also find the music video and song “Whirly Girl” by OXO released in 1983 on YouTube. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason BlalockContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, abuse, suicidal ideation, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After losing her entire family at ten years old, a woman’s grief evolves into a self-destructive rage, and as systems of care, punishment and rehabilitation keep failing her, she’s forced to create her own path to healing. Today’s episode featured Amy Ronhaar. You can find out more about Amy on her website, www.amyronhaar.com, and you can read more details of her story in her memoir Raising Amy: A Daughter’s Memoir on Book Baby https://store.bookbaby.com/book/raising-amy1 If you’d like to contact her, you can reach out over email at [email protected]. Amy’s story was also featured on the podcast Bunny Hugs, by Todd Rennebohm. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger Warnings: death, domestic abuse, self-harm, suicide attempt, rape, sexual assault, drug use, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes” – SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Growing up queer, bullied and abused in a heavily religious community, a man tries and to change his sexual orientation through prayer, but as he pieces his life together and heals past harms, tragedy and misfortune raise more questions than answers.Today’s episode featured Ransom. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email at [email protected]: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason BlalockContent/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault of a minor, incest, suicidal ideation, religious trauma, drug use, death, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finally finding love and marriage after feeling unworthy of romance, a woman develops symptoms of a mysterious and debilitating illness, but in the roller coaster of recovery, her husband’s mental illness creates a new level of chaos. Today’s episode featured Marabai Rose. To find out more about Marabai, you can find her on Instagram @marabai.rose, and on her website marabairose.com. There you can find links to her podcast, Badass: Tales of Resilience @badass_tales_of_resilience, which showcases authentic conversations about trauma and resilience. You can also find links to her memoir, Holding Hope: One family’s Odyssey Through Lyme Disease and Psychosis, which dives deeper into many aspects of the story you heard today and more. If you'd like to reach out to her, you can email at [email protected] or on Facebook at facebook.com/marabaiProducers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara MarinelliContent/Trigger Warnings: medical trauma, domestic violence, severe mental illness, psychosis, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” – Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

An Indigenous woman from the Standing Buffalo Dakota Nation whose grandparents suffered the horrific abuses of the Canadian Indian residential schools finds her own path to healing amidst the ravages of generational trauma on her family and community.Today’s episode featured Erin Goodpipe. To learn more about Erin and her work, you can find her on Instagram @e_goodpipe. Erin is multidisciplinary artist, educator and researcher involved in a number of media projects, including as a co-host of Treaty Road a television documentary series exploring the history & present day state of the Numbered Treaties in Canada between the Crown and Indigenous Peoples. You can find out more about the project at treatyroad.caErin’s story came to us by way of Todd Rennebohm. Erin was originally featured on Todd's podcast, Bunny Hugs and Mental health, which focuses on conversations with survivors, professionals and families of those who have lost someone to mental illness and addictions. So please check out Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, and a special thanks to Todd for referring today's guest.Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, suicidal ideation, graphic bodily injury, alcohol abuse, murder, death, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: www.avivalipkowitz.com/Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After being kidnapped by her mother in a custody battle, a woman finds herself cut off and under the thumb of an abusive stepmother, but after years of chaos and yearning, she finally learns the devastating truth.Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to reach out to her, you can email at [email protected] Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara MarinelliContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, suicidal ideation, graphic bodily injury, alcohol abuse, murder, death, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Endowed with a strong drive from a young age, a woman becomes a workaholic and marries a wonderful man with similar ambitions, but when he faces a failing project, life-long toxic work patterns come to a tragic conclusion. Today’s episode featured Trina Colpitts. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can email at [email protected], and you can learn more about her foundation at 500milesformentalhealth.com and join their 2024 challenge. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara MarinelliContent/Trigger Warnings: drug use, hallucination, suicide, graphic bodily injury, death, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcastWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.comSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.comIntro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes” – SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.