The Redeemed Marriage Podcast

When Disappointment Damages Your Marriage We all experience disappointment in marriage. Sometimes it's because our expectations were unrealistic. Other times, it's because our spouse genuinely let us down. And sometimes we become disappointed with God. This week, we're sharing a conversation inspired by a sermon that challenged us to think differently about disappointment. We talk about the expectations that contributed to the struggles in our own marriage, the anger and disappointment we experienced after infidelity, and how our response to those circumstances helped shape our story of redemption. One powerful reminder from this episode: Sometimes the greatest damage isn't caused by what happened to us, but by how we choose to respond. We can't control every circumstance or every choice our spouse makes, but we can choose how we respond and whether we'll continue trusting God through it all. CONNECT WITH US Website: https://theredeemedmarriage.com Watch our podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRedeemedMarriage Learn more about marriage coaching and other resources on our website.

Have you ever wished you could change something about your spouse? Maybe it's a habit that drives you crazy or something you've been asking them to work on for years. The truth is, we all bring things into marriage that can frustrate our spouse, and sometimes those little frustrations can turn into much bigger issues. This week, we're talking about the difference between accepting your spouse for who they are and recognizing areas where change and growth really are necessary. After 30 years of marriage, we've learned that there are some things we just need to let go of, but there are also times when saying "that's just who I am" isn't a good enough answer. We share some of our own experiences and talk about how to communicate what you need without constantly criticizing your spouse. We also talk about why it's so important to recognize the things your spouse does well instead of always focusing on what you wish they would change. If you're looking for additional encouragement or want to learn more about our marriage coaching, mentoring, or intensives, visit us at https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com. You can also watch this episode and subscribe to The Redeemed Marriage Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRedeemedMarriage

After betrayal, one of the questions we hear most often is, "How do I convince my spouse that I'll never do it again?" We understand that question because we've been there. But here's the hard truth. You can't convince your spouse to trust you again just because you say the right things or make the right promises. Rebuilding trust takes time, consistency, honesty, and a willingness to take full responsibility for the hurt you've caused. In this episode, we're sharing what we learned through our own journey of rebuilding trust after infidelity. We'll talk about why defensiveness and excuses only make things worse, why you can't rush your spouse's healing, and what it really looks like to begin earning back trust that's been broken. If you're struggling to rebuild trust in your marriage, we hope this conversation encourages you and reminds you that while trust can't be demanded, it can be rebuilt. CONNECT WITH THE REDEEMED MARRIAGE Visit our website to learn more about our marriage coaching, mentoring community, marriage intensives, and other resources to help you build a stronger marriage. Website: https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com WATCH US ON YOUTUBE Watch the video version of this episode and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more conversations about marriage, healing, and redemption. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theredeemedmarriage

What happens when you're committed to your marriage, but you just don't feel that attraction anymore? Maybe you've been hurt by betrayal. Maybe you've slowly drifted apart over the years. Or maybe life has just changed, and the feelings you once had seem to be gone. In this episode, we're talking about something that a lot of couples struggle with but don't always want to admit. What do you do when the spark is gone? Can those feelings actually come back? We talk about why love is so much more than a feeling and how spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy all work together in a healthy marriage. We also share why rebuilding attraction doesn't usually start in the bedroom. It starts with the heart. If you're in a season where you feel disconnected from your spouse, we want to encourage you. Just because you don't feel the way you once did doesn't mean those feelings can't return. There is hope, but rebuilding that connection takes time, intentionality, and a willingness to love even when the feelings aren't there. CONNECT WITH THE REDEEMED MARRIAGE We believe there is hope for every marriage, and we'd love to help you take the next step! Need help with your marriage? We offer marriage coaching, a mentoring community, and marriage intensives for couples who are ready to work toward healing and restoration. Learn more about our ministry and available resources: https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com Watch us on YouTube! You can watch the video version of our podcast and find more encouragement for your marriage. We'd love for you to subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/@theredeemedmarriage If this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to share it with someone who might need a little hope today. And don't forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode!

This week, we're talking about one of the most difficult parts of healing after betrayal: learning to forgive yourself. A question we recently received from a listener reminded us just how many people struggle with the guilt and shame of their past decisions. We know firsthand how easy it is to get stuck in the mistakes of our past and allow guilt and shame to keep us from moving forward. But how do we begin to forgive ourselves when we can't change what we've done? In this episode, we share from our own experiences, talk about how the enemy uses guilt and shame to keep us stuck, and discuss what it looks like to accept God's grace and begin walking in the freedom He offers. If you're struggling to forgive yourself, we hope this conversation reminds you that your past doesn't have to define your future and that God's grace is bigger than your greatest mistake. Visit The Redeemed Marriage website Watch and subscribe on YouTube

We’re back from an incredible week in Montana where we had the opportunity to spend time with four couples at our Redeemed Marriage retreat. And once again, we were reminded of something we see all the time in marriage: so many couples are struggling with things they believe no one else would understand. It’s easy to look around and assume everyone else is doing better than you are. So we keep things hidden. We put on a good face, protect our reputation, and convince ourselves that no one needs to know what is really happening behind closed doors. But the longer we hide, the more isolated we become. In this episode, we talk about the loneliness that can exist inside a marriage and why healing often requires letting other people in. You don’t have to tell everyone everything, but you do need safe people who know the real story. Because one of the most freeing things you can discover in a difficult season of marriage is that you’re not the only one. Visit The Redeemed Marriage website Subscribe to our YouTube channel

We’re back with Part 2 of our 30 Years, 30 Lessons series, sharing more of the things three decades of marriage have taught us along the way. Just like last week, these aren’t perfectly packaged marriage principles. They’re lessons we’ve learned by actually living them, and some of them we definitely learned the hard way. We talk about admitting when you’re wrong, why adding “but” to an apology usually ruins it, learning to respect your spouse’s feelings even when you don’t understand them, and what resentment and keeping score can slowly do to a marriage. We also get into some of the deeper lessons our own story has taught us about boundaries, forgiveness, rebuilding trust, communication, and walking through the different seasons of marriage together. Thirty years hasn’t taught us how to have a perfect marriage. But it has taught us a lot about grace, growth, choosing each other, and continuing to show up even when marriage gets hard. Visit The Redeemed Marriage website Subscribe to our YouTube channel

After 30 years of marriage, we’ve learned a few things along the way—some the easy way and plenty the hard way. In this first episode of a two-part series, we’re sharing 30 lessons from our 30 years of marriage. We talk about expectations, why keeping score never works, learning to accept the ways your spouse is different from you, the importance of our words and affection, and why being right isn’t nearly as important as we sometimes think it is. These aren’t lessons we learned from a marriage book or a class. They’ve come from actually living life together for three decades—the good seasons, the hard seasons, the mistakes, the laughter, and everything in between. We definitely don’t have marriage figured out, but after 30 years, there are some things we know now that we wish we had understood a whole lot earlier. This is Part 1 of 30 Years, 30 Lessons. Visit our website: https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com/ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@theredeemedmarriage

How long should you keep talking about a betrayal after it’s over? At some point, are you supposed to stop bringing it up and move on? In this episode, we talk about something we’re still learning 15 years into our own story. For the betrayed spouse, the memories and pain of betrayal don’t just disappear. Sometimes talking about it isn’t about trying to punish your spouse or make them fix something. It’s simply wanting reassurance that they haven’t forgotten what you went through and that they still understand why certain things hurt. But there’s another side to the conversation too. The spouse who was unfaithful may not think about the affair nearly as often, and when they do, what surfaces may be shame, guilt, and regret. Those feelings matter too, even though they can sometimes feel difficult or even unfair to talk about. We share some of what we’ve learned from our own marriage and the conversations we continue to have about betrayal, reassurance, shame, vulnerability, and healing. Maybe the goal isn’t to finally reach a point where you never talk about the affair again. Maybe the goal is learning how to talk about it in a way that brings you closer instead of keeping you stuck. Learn more about The Redeemed Marriage at https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com And be sure to visit our YouTube channel to watch our latest videos https://www.youtube.com/@TheRedeemedMarriage

College football is back—and if you know us, you know that’s a pretty big deal in our house! But what happens when the thing you love isn’t something your spouse cares about at all? This week, we’re talking about how to handle different interests in marriage. Whether it’s football, hunting, golf, shopping, TV shows, travel, or something else, we don’t have to love all the same things to have a great marriage. But we do believe there’s something powerful about taking an interest in what makes your spouse light up. We share a little about how we’ve learned this in our own marriage, what we’re discovering now that we’re empty nesters, and why giving each other freedom to enjoy separate interests is just as important as finding things we genuinely enjoy together. We also talk about compromise, avoiding resentment, and why friendship really does matter so much in a healthy marriage. And yes, there’s plenty of football talk along the way—including what our new daughter-in-law has taught us about loving what somebody else loves simply because you love them. You don’t have to share every hobby. You don’t have to spend every free minute together. But you can choose to step into your spouse’s world—and sometimes that small step can make a much bigger difference than you realize. Learn more about The Redeemed Marriage at https://www.theredeemedmarriage.com And be sure to visit our YouTube channel to watch our latest videos—including our Coach’s Film Room football parody about getting your marriage ready for game day: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRedeemedMarriage