IFS and Beyond Hopelessness and Despair with Jim Abrams

This is a re-release of Season 2 Ep. 65 with Paul Neustadt. To find the Free Webinar and register for the four-week workshop from Life Architect, go to: Free webinar: Working with Therapist Parts to Access Self in IFS Therapy (lifearchitect.com) IFS: Therapeutic Relationship and Power of Presence by Paul Neustadt (lifearchitect.com) ----- On today's episode I chat with Paul Neustadt, a lead trainer with the IFS Institute. Paul has such a warm, engaging teaching style and I just loved our conversation. Paul's answer to the last question, "What would you do instead?" may be my new life goal or at least a daily intention. We discuss: 1. Creating our own inner circle - when you have a hard time accessing compassion (or Self) 2. Impacts of individualism (our culture) on our parts 3. Tapping into our own inner wisdom 4. The Gifts of our Exiles 5. Paul demonstrates Direct Access with one of my manager parts 6. Degrees of Blending 7. Inviting exiles (the younger parts of us) to 'tune into their true nature, who they really are' 8. Relational Heart Based Activism 9. When Self energy seems impossible. "What is this thing called Self and how do I get it!?" ---- Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram ------ This episode is sponsored by Life Architect. As the IFS Institute's international partner, they organize IFS training and online workshops about IFS and other therapy modalities for those new to IFS and experienced practitioners alike. Life Architect is committed to advancing the professional development of mental health professionals around the world.

On today's episode I chat with Dr. Frank Anderson about his new memoir, "To Be Loved." A beloved psychiatrist and leader in the IFS community, this is Frank's third appearance on the podcast. We talk about: Unexpected Impact of a vulnerable personal memoir vs his other clinical themed books (3:05) Separation of Self from intelligence Parts- "I am not just my Smart part" (3:31) Love and disconnection from self and others (5:33) Childhood trauma memories and healing experience with mom (11:11) Experience of love (12:19) Forgiveness of father and himself (17:25) Reconciliation vs. forgiveness (19:32) Impact on and from his siblings (22:21) Writing as healing - he encourages writing your "moments that made me" for healing (25:54) Music and healing - how music helped his healing journey and influenced his chapter titles (32:01) Bringing trauma healing to more people with new initiatives like the Trauma Institute  (39:15)   * The full video of this episode is available on  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube ----- Find out more about Frank here: Trauma Blocks Love. Love Heals Trauma. (frankandersonmd.com) ------ Follow Tammy on Instagram Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) and on Facebook at  The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's episode I chat with Theresa Soltzberg, LMFT and IFS therapist. Theresa is an expressive arts therapist, mixed media artist, writer and instructor who offers her clients and students experiences that allow the intersection of their self-expression, soul healing and deep personal story. She has been guiding and instructing others in their creative process and life journey for many years. We talk about: - Her story and how she came into the IFS world  - "Free to Express Me" with mixed media art journaling (12:30) - Working with Soul pages and Rakefet Hador (14:34) - Trauma focused: "The embodied experience of art is itself healing" (18:09) - Setting intentions, Making Layers, Using Metaphor (20:00) - Integrating the Enneagram (21:00) - Creating Collage and one collective piece (22:00) - Working with 'Art' parts (I'm not an artist!) (27:00) - Examples of working with parts in art (30:00) - How to do our your own/get started (34:00) - Evolving Images of Self (38:00) - Use of the enneagram (39:00)   AND! - Free Resources (42) For The One Inside Listeners! Found here- TOI (theresasoltzberg.com)   -----   You can connect with Theresa here: Theresa Soltzberg (@theresa.soltzberg) • Instagram photos and videos https://www.theresasoltzberg.com/   More information about Soul pages: Visual journal - create a visual art diary | Visual journaling with Rakefet Hadar (soul-pages.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's podcast I chat with Natalie Hoffman, author, podcast host and IFS enthusiast about her new memoir.   One of the things I loved about this book is the IFS-y structure of it. In one section, she allows her younger parts to tell their story, their memories and she responds to each from Self. Another section is written like a play: Named parts responding and reacting to one another.   Natalie Hoffman is the author of "Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse" and "All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir" as well as the host of the Flying Free podcast. She is a mother, grandmother, educator, and passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Through the Flying Free Sisterhood program, Natalie empowers Christian women to discover and use their God-given voices, gifts, and freedom to make their own adult choices for their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.   ------ "Scary little gods in our lives try to control and steal our true Essence, making us feel safe but trapping us in fear." These 'scary little gods' can be organizations, family culture, or our own inner parts. Natalie reflects on her religious, traumatic childhood experiences and how they relate to her identity and connection to her True Self and to the Creator.  We talk about her passion for helping women of faith, particularly Christian women, who are struggling with disillusionment and a lack of self-worth. She shares about leaving toxic environments and abusive relationships and the importance of listening to our inner parts. We talk about others 'bullying' parts and how seeing hurtful behavior through this lens helps our own systems. We talk about ways to connect to our younger parts and how we all can live in Freedom and Choice. It is a beautiful, rich conversation. ----- Find out more about Natalie and get her books here: Flying Free Support for Women in Abusive Relationships (flyingfreenow.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

Derek Scott and I got to meet one last time here on the podcast. I want to share with you what I know because a lot of you have asked. You will find out a lot in this episode from Derek himself. I was among a small group who knew he was sick and when he was passing. After we recorded the episode I got to read his book and watch a session between him and Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS. My understanding is you will be able to see this incredible session when you buy the book. Sign up for the launch here: Dead (Spoiler Alert): a Psychotherapist's Journey With Cancer If you haven't heard of Derek Scott, I invite you to go to YouTube and check out his channel. Many of us in the IFS community learned so much by watching his videos. He and I recorded a full IFS session on video three years ago. He would text me periodically and let me know how many people had watched it. I just looked -- it has 70,000 views! Derek ran an organization called IFSCA, based in Canada, which teach IFS courses. In all the years I’ve known Derek he is clear to honor Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS. He makes it known that his courses are not IFS trainings. He was always careful to distinguish that and to be so respectful of Dick. If you go to the podcast page on my website and search for Derek Scott, you will see several episodes we did together. Over the years he would text me and say, "Hey do you wanna talk about such and such?" I’d always say yes. Here are all the links: Full episode between Derek as therapist and me as client: Complete IFS Session (youtube.com) Derek's youtube channel: (14) Derek IFSCA - YouTube Derek's organziation IFS in Canada: Home - IFSCA Other podcast episodes with Derek: You searched for derek scott - Tammy Sollenberger He was a friend, and I am so grateful for his presence in my life. The last text I received from him was a week before he died, and it was just this emoji … 🤸‍♀️ Sending you all so much warmth and compassion as you listen to this episode. All my love, Tammy ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's episode I chat with Dr. François Le Doze, MD. He is a psychotherapist, an IFS therapist, and trainer and has been a neurologist for nearly thirty years in a teaching Hospital in Caen, France. He has always been interested in the relationship between the body and mind, and his knowledge of neuroscience allows him to integrate recent neuroscientific findings into his psychotherapy practice. He's actively developing a model of psychotherapy called Relational Intelligence® based on his clinical experience and expertise. In this episode we chat about: How crisis caused him to reconsider his relationship with IFS and Psychotherapy The influence of Polyvagal Theory on his Relational Intelligence Model "This is not a Part, but a disruption in my nervous system." "This isn't You; but a State of you." A key clarification in the Relational Intelligence model: Self-regulation = what is happening in your body; Co-regulation = what is happening between us. Bubble Theory: using meta-cogniton to connect and calm the nervous system   Two a-ha moments for me: "We need to DO something TO the system and not expect the system will be able to unblend from the Inside Out." Self Energy must be the regulator the client's system. This Self Energy can originate from either the Self of the client or the Self of the therapist. The client's Self CANNOT lead if their nervous system is dysregulated. In such cases we must tend to the saftey within the therapeutic relationship before proceeding (just as children experience Self of their parents through attachment before their own Self).   His website: SELF THERAPY TRAINING - The Relational Intelligence® model (selftherapie.com) To learn more about and register for the training he is offering through IFSCA on March 22, 2024 go to: Relational Intelligence: The Emerging European Model for Trauma. A synthesis of IFS, Neuroscience, Polyvagal & attachment theory Tickets in Online, ON, Canada (ticketleap.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On this week’s episode I chat with Boo Trundle about her IFS-inspired novel, The Daughter Ship. Boo is a writer, artist, and performer whose work has appeared across various platforms and publications, including The Brooklyn Rail, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and NPR’s The Moth. She has released three albums of original music with Big Deal Records.  I absolutely loved this book and the way she blended years of inner child work and IFS therapy to create the unique Parts perspective she uses to write the novel. She shares her process of discovering and relating to different parts and learning how to tell their stories. We identify legacy burdens, ancestral guides, and which character in the novel represents her true Self. We talk about: Using IFS to inform and transform her writing (3:00) The unique storytelling of the novel telling her Parts’ stories (7:00) Her journey discovering her Parts and learning their stories (12:00) Writing as a healing and spiritual experience (16:00) Connecting with Self and ancestral guides during a summer writing workshop (20:00) Identifying which character in the novel represents her true Self (33:00) Connect with her here: https://www.bootrundle.com https://www.instagram.com/bootrundle https://twitter.com/account/access https://www.facebook.com/BooTrundle/ ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel.  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website: Home - Tammy Sollenberger ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.  

On today's episode I chat with Julia Sullivan and Gregg Paisley, two of the authors of the Altogether Us book chapter on Embodying IFS with Native American Clients. They are members of The Council for Indigenous IFS, and this is the focus of this episode. Julia Sullivan, MBA (she/her) is a social activist who integrates her Latina roots (Ralámuli descent), Indigenous spirituality, and all she gained from being one of the first Latinas to earn an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business. After 30 years in executive leadership and organizational development, she now brings Self leadership to people using Internal Family Systems (IFS). She co-founded the Council for Indigenous IFS to create a forum for cross-tribal learning and resource sharing. Julia convenes Self Led Leaders, a global community of coaches and consultants bringing IFS-informed practices to business, as well as Cornsilk, which brings these practices to the general public. Julia relaxes with frequent walks around a lake with her IFS-trained husband, Chris, basking in the beauty of nature.   Gregg Paisley, MBA (he/him) spent most of his career in the private sector, working as a senior executive in SMB, NASDAQ, and Fortune 500 enterprise software and hardware companies, as well as in professional audio/video/lighting. An enrolled Blackfeet (Amskapi Piikani band), he is one of the few American Indians fortunate enough to have walked that path. Late in life he came to the epiphany that the only possible reason the Creator would shower such undeserved blessings and resources on him is so he could help others find their own blessings. Since retiring from industry in 2003, he has focused on creating jobs, increasing tribal household incomes, and providing social services (especially for under-served tribal children) on a large Montana reservation. Gregg is a member of the Council for Indigenous IFS. In his spare time, Gregg relaxes as a musician on keyboards and guitar. He stays connected to the land in both the Pacific Northwest and northern Montana. We talk about: Introductions (0) Indigenous IFS Council history (5:00) Communal Collective Unburdening worshop at the 2023 IFS Annual Conference (9:00) Broad Impact of their work on and off Reservations (14:00) Greg's Intro to IFS and his experience (17:00) HumBle during difficult interactions and experiene at conference continued (24:00) Land Acknoweldgements (39:00) Greg's native and tribe Poetry and the Spread of IFS among indigenious (41:00) 8 C meetings (47:00) Final Thoughts (50:00) Check out: American Indian Partnership For more information check out: Cornsilk: Peer-Based Wellness for Indigenous People & Allies Email [email protected] to find out more about the 8 C meetings ---- Visual Clips of some podcast episodes are available on The One Inside's YouTube channel. Check it out: (2) The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website: Home - Tammy Sollenberger ----- Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.

On today's episode I chat with two of the four authors of the Embodying IFS with Native American Clients chapter in the Altogether Us book, Suzan McVicker and Pete Patton. The other two authors, Julia Sullivan and Gregg Paisley will be on the show next week.   Suzan McVicker, PhD, is a long-time certified IFS therapist, teacher, and former IFS trainer whose two recent publications, an IFS article and an IFS book chapter, are invitations to build a safe bridge between Indigenous Peoples and the global IFS community.  She was one of the first IFS practitioners to voice her personal experience as a Cherokee descendant in the collective narrative about the healing contributions of Indigenous worldview precepts for IFS practitioners with an initial publication through APA (American Psychological Association) in 2010. Pete Patton is Inuit, and currently exists on the land of the Clatsop-Nehalam Tribe in Astoria, Oregon. Pete is currently a Therapist for the local Mental Health Authority in Clatsop County.  Pete is also actively involved in developing a community of faith (Great Spirit Gathering) whose purpose is to support, celebrate, and embody Native American Spirituality in all its ways of being expressed/embodied.     We talk about: - Deer Medicine and Indigenous culture (1:00) - Indigenous perspectives on deer medicine as energy (2:00) - Experiential storytelling in culture and used in the Chapter (10:00) - Identity, adoption, and heritage (14:00) - Indigenous inspired IFS and the 7 B's (34:00) (HumBle; Right to Be, Belong, Become; Blessing; Balance; Embodied Learning; Ceremony as UnBurdening; Belly Laugh) ------- Visual Clips of some podcast episodes are available on The One Inside's YouTube channel. Check it out: (2) The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website: Home - Tammy Sollenberger ----- Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.

On today's epsidoe I chat with Bob Falconer, author of the book, "The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession." Bob has been involved in psychological healing and recovery for over half a century now. More and more he focuses on the spiritual dimensions of this process. We talk about: - Our Minds are Porous. Acceptance of this idea is as impactful as accepting the multiplicty of the mind (until 16 minutes) - Emmanual Swendenborg's influence (16 min) - External Energies (Bob's preferred term to critters or unattached burdens) (20 min) - Spirit Guides (31 min) - Past Lives (think Legacy Burdens) (37) - His many upcoming book projects, and his heart to lessen Human Suffering (43) - Spiritual Writing and the work of Chico Xavier (45) - UBU and Non violent communication- upcoming workshops (52) ---- Check out Bob's website: IFS Consultant - Teacher and Author - Robert Falconer Sign up for the upcoming Master class with IFSCA on 2.16.24: IFS and Past Lives Tickets in Online, ON, Canada (ticketleap.com) ----------- Visual Clips of some podcast episodes are available on The One Inside's YouTube channel. Check it out: (2) The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website: Home - Tammy Sollenberger ----- Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.