How to Stop Being Too Nice to People

Have you ever found yourself saying yes when you really wanted to say no? In this solo episode, Jake and Damian tackle a challenge many of us face, being “too nice” at the expense of ourselves. They unpack the difference between being nice and being kind, showing why true kindness sometimes means honesty, boundaries, and even uncomfortable conversations.Drawing on insights from guests like Martin Lewis, Sara Davies, Adam Grant, and Jameela Jamil, they explore radical candor, the power of disagreeable givers, and the importance of surrounding yourself with people who truly lift you up.Packed with practical takeaways, this episode is a guide to moving from people-pleasing to authentic kindness, where self-respect and compassion go hand in hand.Listen to the episodes mentioned: Martin Lewis: https://pod.fo/e/22a519Sara Davies: https://pod.fo/e/2a13a3Adam Grant: https://pod.fo/e/1546d4Jameela Jamil: https://pod.fo/e/225b9eHeights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights20 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before he was a Formula One driver, Lando Norris was the kid in the McLaren garage packing boxes, dismantling equipment, and working side by side with the mechanics. No glamour, no headlines, just long hours in the background, doing the kind of jobs nobody sees. What struck me most is that he didn’t see it as grunt work. He saw it as belonging. As trust-building, as part of something bigger than himself, and that small shift is the difference between viewing work as a job, a career, or a calling.In this episode, we explore what it really means to treat your work as a calling, not just a set of tasks. We look at psychologist Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski’s research on how we find meaning in the everyday, and how something as simple as reframing a task can transform the way we show up.Together, we explore:Why Lando’s early garage work laid the foundation for his careerThe psychology of job, career, and callingHow job crafting turns small tasks into meaningful onesWhat leaders can learn about trust from Formula One teamworkHow to reframe your own work so it matters moreBecause high performance isn’t only about winning under the lights, it’s about the way you approach the work nobody else notices.Here is more information on the studies referenced: Jobs, Careers, and Callings: People’s Relations to Their Work (Amy Wrzesniewski, Clark McCauley, Paul Rozin, Barry Schwartz, 1997)Jobs, Identities, and Work: How Job Crafting Relates to Meaningful Work and Work Identity (Justin M. Berg, Jane E. Dutton, Amy Wrzesniewski, 2013)Positive Emotions Broaden the Scope of Attention and Thought-Action Repertoires, (Barbara Fredrickson, 2001)Listen to the full episode with Lando Norris: https://pod.fo/e/112cbb Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amanda Staveley is one of the most influential figures in modern football, best known for helping steer the takeover that transformed Newcastle United. In this episode, Amanda opens up about what it takes to build something lasting in football and in life. From being underestimated in high finance to proving herself in one of the toughest industries, she reflects on the quiet power of persistence and the importance of surrounding yourself with people you can trust. She talks candidly about what it means to keep going in the face of uncertainty, how her Huntington’s disease has sharpened her priorities, and why empathy and vulnerability have become such central parts of her journey.This episode is about more than football, it’s about life, hope, and the meaning of legacy.🚨 PartnersHeights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights1Tide 👉 Free £50? Just spend £100 on your Tide card to get it when you use code HP50: https://highpfrmc.com/tidehp50HP Foundation 👉Do you want to kick-start an evolution that will change the lives of millions of children? Find out more about the High Performance Foundation: https://hppod.co/foundationHP Corporate Events 👉Click here to book High Performance Events: https://hppod.co/corporate-eventsExplore offers and discounts through our other partners:https://hppod.co/partners Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pippa Grange has spent years working behind the scenes in elite sport, guiding some of the biggest names and teams to perform at their best when it matters most. As a sports psychologist and culture coach, she’s best known for helping shift the mentality of the England national football team, but her work stretches far beyond the pitch.In this episode, Pippa unpacks the core ideas from her book Fear Less, exploring how the fear of failure shows up in sport, business, and everyday life. She explains how it quietly controls decisions, holds back potential, and fuels the constant chase for perfection.Through powerful stories and examples, Pippa shows that success isn’t just about talent or hard work, it’s about learning to loosen fear’s grip. She offers clear, practical tools to help you face fear differently and create space for courage, connection, and fulfillment.Heights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights20 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes the biggest reset doesn’t come from doing more, but from zooming out far enough to see what really matters.That’s exactly what productivity expert Ali Abdaal does every year, with a practice that at first sounds unusual, he writes his own obituary. Not to dwell on the end, but to remind himself how he wants to live.Ali’s story is a powerful reminder that alignment beats hustle. A former doctor turned one of the world’s most-followed productivity voices, he’s learned that the real danger isn’t burnout from overwork, but “misalignment fatigue”, the exhaustion that comes when your daily actions don’t reflect the life you actually want.In this episode, I share what I’ve taken from Ali’s approach and how you can use it as a compass too. We explore:Why writing your obituary is really about living, not dyingHow to spot “misalignment fatigue” before it derails youThe science of mortality awareness and why it makes us kinderSmall steps to bring your daily choices closer to your true storyIf you’ve ever felt stuck, drifting, or unsure where your energy should go, this episode is a reminder that high performance isn’t about squeezing more into the day.Here is more information on the studies referenced: The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life (Sheldon Solomon, Jeff Greenberg, and Tom Pyszczynski, 2015) Evidence That Reminders of Mortality Increase Generosity ( Ilan Dar-Nimrod, Tom Pyszczynski, Jamie Arndt, et al. 2008) Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, (Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy 2016)Listen to the full episode with Ali Abdaal: https://pod.fo/e/213471 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nicolas Hamilton is a British racing driver who has defied the odds to make his mark in motorsport while living with cerebral palsy. As the younger brother of Lewis Hamilton, the most successful F1 driver of all time, Nicolas has grown up around elite performance, but his own journey has been filled with challenges, setbacks, and powerful lessons about determination and self-belief.In this episode, Jake sits down with Nicolas to explore the unseen struggles that shaped him, from feeling isolated at school to dealing with the pressure of growing up in the shadow of a world champion. Nicolas talks openly about the influence of Lewis’s mindset, the inspiration it gave him, and the unique bond they share as brothers.He also discusses the battles many never see: the mask of happiness he wore while struggling with mental health, the expectations that weighed heavily on him, and the process of learning to be honest about his own story. Alongside this, Nicolas shares the physical demands of competing in racing and the determination that helped him achieve what once seemed impossible.This episode offers an inspiring conversation about family, ambition, and the importance of owning your truth. Need Support?Samaritans: Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.orgMental Health Mates: mentalhealthmates.co.ukShout: https:giveusashout.orgIAPT: https://www.england.nhs.uk/mental-health/adults/nhs-talking-therapies🚨 PartnersHeights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights1Vestiaire Collective 👉 Buy and sell pre-loved Fashion now: https://highpfrmc.com/vestiaire-auTide 👉 Free £50? Just spend £100 on your Tide card to get it when you use code HP50: https://highpfrmc.com/tidehp50HP Foundation 👉Do you want to kick-start an evolution that will change the lives of millions of children? Find out more about the High Performance Foundation: https://hppod.co/foundationHP Corporate Events 👉Click here to book High Performance Events: https://hppod.co/corporate-eventsExplore offers and discounts through our other partners:https://hppod.co/partners Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you could choose just one conversation for your kids to listen to, what wisdom would you want them to take away? In this powerful episode, Jake and Damian explore the timeless lessons that go beyond sport, success, or achievement, lessons designed to shape character, purpose, and resilience for the next generation.From Sam Tomkins’ belief in the power of “1% actions,” to Hector Garcia’s introduction of Ikigai and living with purpose, and Robin Van Persie’s story about responsibility and ownership, the conversation uncovers practical guidance for building character, not just success.Listen in as Jake and Damian reflect on why psychological safety and unconditional support matter most, creating environments where young people feel safe to fail, grow, and thrive.Listen to the episodes mentioned:Sam Tomkins: https://pod.fo/e/14cdefHector Garcia: https://pod.fo/e/172552Robin Van Persie: https://pod.fo/e/18789Mel Robbins: https://pod.fo/e/ed46fVicky Pattison: https://pod.fo/e/105426Lewis Morgan: https://pod.fo/e/11b36eJonathan Haidt: https://pod.fo/e/2a4563Heights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights20 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trust is one of those things we all rely on, yet rarely stop to examine. We know when it’s there, we know when it’s broken, but how is it built, and how do you keep it when the pressure is at its highest?Martin Lewis has become one of the most trusted figures in Britain, not by being popular, but by being useful. He’s challenged politicians in Downing Street, taken on corporations, and given millions of people advice when they needed it most. His influence doesn’t come from clever slogans or branding, but from a habit that runs through everything he does: consistency, honesty, and care.In this episode, I share the lessons I’ve taken from Martin’s approach to trust. Together, we explore:Why trust isn’t built through image, but through actionThe Trust Triangle: authenticity, logic, and empathyWhy empathy is the quality that makes people not just listen, but believeHow trust grows from small choices repeated consistentlyWhat leaders, teams, and families can learn from Martin’s approachWhether you’re leading a team, guiding a business, or simply trying to strengthen relationships in your own life, this is a powerful reminder that trust isn’t a strategy.Here is more information on the studies referenced: 26th Annual Global CEO Survey (PWC Study, 2023) The Best Place To Work (Book,  Dr. Ron Friedman, Ph.D, 2014) The Trust Triangle: Authenticity, Logic, Empathy (Professor Frances Frei, Harvard Business School)Listen to the full episode with Martin Lewis: https://pod.fo/e/22a519 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Former Premier League star and manager of the Welsh national team Craig Bellamy is known for his fiery temper and relentless energy on the pitch. Once defined by chaos and controversy, he’s stepped into one of the most important roles in his country’s football history, carrying both pride and pressure as he leads Wales into a new era.In this episode, Bellamy pulls back the curtain on his journey from volatile forward to thoughtful coach. He opens up about the infamous incidents that once dominated headlines, the mental health battles he faced after losing Gary Speed, and the therapy that gave him tools to keep moving forward. Bellamy also speaks about the transformation that came with coaching, how working alongside Vincent Kompany taught him patience, balance, and the importance of boundaries. This episode offers a story of resilience and redemption, showing how one of football’s most misunderstood figures is finding peace, purpose, and a second chance at defining his legacy.🚨 PartnersHeights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights1Tide 👉 Free £50? Just spend £100 on your Tide card to get it when you use code HP50: https://highpfrmc.com/tidehp50HP Foundation 👉Do you want to kick-start an evolution that will change the lives of millions of children? Find out more about the High Performance Foundation: https://hppod.co/foundationHP Corporate Events 👉Click here to book High Performance Events: https://hppod.co/corporate-eventsExplore offers and discounts through our other partners:https://hppod.co/partners Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we’re joined by Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***. We start at the exact moment his book became a global bestseller.
Mark says that when it blew up he was the most depressed he’d been since his teens and explains why success did not fix him.Mark unpacks the hedonic treadmill and the cost of constant chasing and how your identity can get tangled with performance, sharing raw stories of burnout, grief, and the hard choices that forced him to stop ‘performing’.He offers simple practices he used to rebuild direction and meaning. Listen as Mark walks you through the fallout, the recovery, and the small actions that changed everything. You’ll hear questions to test your own relationship with success.Heights 👉 Get 20% off your subscription by using Code: HP20 here: https://highpfrmc.com/heights20 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.