EP: 179 Is Regulated The Goal?

It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating!In this episode, you’ll learn A neurosequential explanation for regressionHow to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of your child’s nervous systemWays to respond to regressed behavior that may increase regulation, connection, and felt safetyResources mentioned in this podcast:A NueroDevelopmental Approach: Right Intervention, Right Time {EP 47}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regressionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

I’m sure you often feel like ‘getting your kid regulated’ is a very important goal!But- is it? Is regulated the goal? And is it possible to even consider these kinds of questions when we are parenting very dysregulated kids with very dangerous behaviors?In this episode, you’ll learnThe difference between a moment of being regulated and having a regulated (balanced) nervous systemHow regulation and dysregulation must coexistWhy thinking about any of this high-level stuff when you have REAL PROBLEMS TO REALLY ADDRESS can be helpfulResources mentioned in this podcast:Regulated Does Not Equal Calm https://RobynGobbel.com/lisadionRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regulatedthegoalFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains!We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard.Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brainHow gratitude and acceptance of the watchdog and possum brain strengthens the owl brainWe don’t want to get rid of our children’s watchdog and possums brains- we want to help them restResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}Connection Or Protection??? {EP 7}Stress Response System {EP 94}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everyoneFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain.Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’It’s actually a sign of healing, and here’s why!In this episode, you’ll learnWhy kids who have a lot of possum behavior can sometimes become kids who have a lot of watchdog behaviorWhy this phenomenon usually means there is progress and healing happeningWhy sometimes kids move from possum behaviors to owl behaviors without having watchdog behaviorsRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/possumsbecomewatchdogsFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on December 22, 2020, episode 8:::I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.  #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  #2- Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally). In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassionDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Is it possible to feel better even if your child’s behavior doesn’t change?Even if the stress doesn’t change?Theoretically, yes.Your chronic watchdog or possum state means you are in chronic protection mode. Is it possible to shift out of protection mode before the chaos in your life changes?That’s exactly what we address in today’s episode!In this episode, you’ll learnThe two different paths you can take to feel better (come out of protection mode) even if the chaos in your life never changesThe neuroscience behind how connection and co-regulation (for you!) becomes twice as important for your ability to stay more regulated even when things are really hardResources to help you feel better (shift out of protection) that you can do by yourself, as well as resources that are based in connection and co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection Or Protection {EP 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {EP 139}The Privilege Of Parenting With Safety {EP 169}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feelbetterFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on September 20th, 2022Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.In this episode, you’ll learn:What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stressThe impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response SystemHow to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response SystemA reframe to shift your own Stress Response System Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HEREOver on my website you can find:Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Settle in for a fun and inspiring chat with hosts from Therapist Uncensored and authors of the new release Secure Relating, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley.In this episode, you’ll learnHow responding to our children’s (and partner’s) needs in the present moment, instead of from a place of anxious or avoidant states, can improve our relationshipsAbout the intersection of attachment and trauma in our systems of care- like the child welfare and mental health systemsHow much hope there is when we shift to looking at attachment in the here and now instead of based on our historiesResources mentioned in this podcast:Ann and Sue's Podcast! - therapistuncensored.comPre-order a copy of Secure Relating!Secure Relating Online Launch! - therapistuncensored.com/upcoming_events/Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/securerelatingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.In this episode you'll learn:The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hardHow to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your childThe difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection or Protection??? {7}What to do after We Mess up {80}Stress Response System {94}Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/EnablingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

I’m sure you’ve had moments (days, weeks, months) where it felt hard, maybe even impossible, to keep offering connection to your child.It is hard to offer connection to someone who seems to constantly reject it!If it feels hard to keep offering your child connection, I actually want you to shift your focus. Don’t prioritize offering connection to your child. Instead think about:Who can offer YOU connection?How can you offer connection to yourself?Who could you offer connection to who is able to receive it, and offer connection back?You’ll also learn how glitter boots are related to giving and receiving connection! Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/offeringconnectionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithDue to the already overwhelming interest in the 2025 cohort of Being With (yes, 2025!!!) we are going to open up the first round of applications only to folks on the waiting list. You must be on the waiting list in order have access to th early application process! Sign up at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources