The Customer Service Pickle | Ep 40

DJ has returned from New Jersey exhausted, Kelly deliberately cuts off the intro, and this week's episode of Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly is officially coming to you live from DJ's bed. We start with boundaries—and DJ's increasingly toxic relationship with American Airlines after a seemingly endless series of delays. After dozens of flights and hours spent stranded in airports, DJ has one request: if the airline is going to make him live there, could they at least upgrade him from the lounge that looks like a bus stop? Then we get into travel, cultural differences and the danger of assuming your own values automatically apply everywhere. DJ remembers trying to overpay a woman doing his laundry in the Philippines before being told to stop imposing his Western assumptions, while Kelly remembers being asked to stop tipping so much during a trip to India. We also talk movies that may or may not make any sense, the apparently essential inclusion of dinosaur sex, modern parenting expectations, people who desperately need to mind their own business, and the strange internet trajectory of Lohanthony. Then we finally dig into the listener inbox. One listener has been with her boyfriend for four years and has always been clear that she wants marriage. Now he says marriage is “just a piece of paper”—but wants them to buy a house together. Is refusing to buy property without marriage an ultimatum? And more importantly… is an ultimatum necessarily a bad thing? Kelly also explains why Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw relationship metaphor has stuck with her: sometimes the answer isn't forcing another person into the life you've imagined. It's recognizing that the pieces don't fit and choosing yourself. Plus: movie theater snacks, gaydar, asymmetrical faces, shareholders, sex in Thailand and DJ's revolutionary new philosophy: If it doesn't fit, get it away from me. I'm tired. Chapters 00:00 – Kelly Refuses to Finish the Intro01:14 – DJ Is Setting Boundaries From Bed02:10 – Live, Work, Sleep? Absolutely Not03:23 – We're Beholden to Our Shareholders03:38 – DJ's Toxic Relationship With American Airlines06:44 – DJ Wants Concierge Key07:40 – Airport Sleeping Pods & Travel Trauma08:20 – California Summer Is a Scam09:41 – Dolly Parton & Owning Who You Are10:56 – A Very Honest Tourist in Thailand13:17 – Sex Work, Judgment & Minding Your Business15:17 – DJ's $1 Laundry Lesson in the Philippines16:40 – Kelly's Tipping Story From India17:43 – Why Does My Face Look Different on Camera?18:49 – Listener Emails19:10 – Another Straight Man Has Found the Podcast19:48 – What Happened With Black Summer?21:31 – The End of Oak Street Was… Weird22:12 – Yes, There Is Dinosaur Sex23:05 – What Movies Are We Seeing Next?24:02 – When “Surrealistic” Means “This Makes No Sense”26:27 – What Is Back-to-School Night?27:03 – Parenting Expectations Are Out of Control28:25 – Leave Britney Alone & Lohanthony29:32 – Lohanthony, Christianity & Conversion Therapy32:25 – Back to the Listener Mail32:36 – “My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Marry Me”33:34 – Are Ultimatums Actually Bad?36:40 – Daniel Sloss's Relationship Theory38:11 – If It Doesn't Fit, Get It Away From Me38:38 – Patreon & Happy Hour Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ is finally FREE from corporate tax prep, Kelly has popped blood vessels in both eyes from too much research, and somehow that’s only the beginning. This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, we get into Kaia Gerber’s story about being spiritually cleansed with a didgeridoo, Chris Hansen’s thoughts on Robert Pattinson playing him, the upcoming Anthony Bourdain movie Tony, and why having a Regal Unlimited pass has basically turned going to the movies into our part-time job. We also talk ADHD, visual clutter and the impossible task of getting rid of stuff you’ve owned for years; celebrity impersonators who may look more like the celebrity than the actual celebrity; whether yachts are secretly terrifying; and the important financial strategy of sneaking a four-course meal—with dipping sauces—into a movie theater. Then Kelly brings up a theory about the way men and women interpret the 1–10 pain scale at the doctor: are men comparing their pain to the worst thing they’ve personally experienced, while women compare theirs to the worst pain they can imagine? And could that be one more reason women unintentionally downplay their pain when seeking medical care? Plus: New Jersey, hangovers, soft pretzels, mushrooms, tiny thumbs and entirely too much information. Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & KellyNew episodes weekly. Chapters These should work nicely as searchable YouTube chapters: 00:00 – DJ Survived Tax Prep04:00 – The McDonald’s Flash Mob06:23 – New Jersey & DJ’s Legendary Night Out09:06 – Hangovers, College Drinking & Boone’s Farm10:49 – Kelly’s Internet Is Still Fighting Her12:01 – Kaia Gerber’s Didgeridoo Exorcism13:49 – Robert Pattinson Is Playing Chris Hansen?!16:48 – The Anthony Bourdain Movie Tony17:18 – We’ve Turned Going to the Movies Into a Job20:42 – ADHD, Clutter & Getting Rid of Everything23:29 – DJ’s Extremely Disturbing New Art25:00 – The Tupac Murder Trial26:33 – Celebrity Impersonators Are Getting Too Good29:45 – Are Yachts Actually Fun?31:07 – Why Terrible Things Keep Happening on Yachts32:42 – Do Men & Women Rate Pain Differently?38:39 – Maybe Going to Bed Sober Is Unhealthy39:15 – Never Look at Your Hands on Mushrooms41:09 – Patreon & Live Happy Hour Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ should be on a cruise. Instead, he’s doing taxes because his travel companion waited until the last possible second to remember one tiny problem: there’s a warrant out for his arrest. Then DJ and Kelly recap a VERY busy week at the movies, including One Night Only, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Super Troopers 3 and I Want Your Sex. Which movies worked, which didn’t, and why exactly is One Night Only essentially “The Purge, but for sex”? Elsewhere: why Dungeons & Dragons creates instant secondhand embarrassment, whether Gen Z’s declining interest in drinking and dating might have something to do with how insanely expensive it is to leave the house, DJ’s unwavering devotion to Irish Spring 5-in-1, rising electricity bills, political hypocrisy, the WNBA protest stunt, and the Lindsay Clancy trial. Plus, on Patreon: DJ experiments with Jell-O that expired in 2022, The Last House gets absolutely demolished, and we establish the official Locked & Probably Loaded rule: listen to an entire episode before deciding whether you hate us. Join Patreon for episodes a week early, bonus content and live happy hours:patreon.com/loadedpod Try a live happy hour:loadedpod.com Follow us:@loadedpod Email:[email protected] Chapters 00:00 Welcome to Locked & Probably Loaded00:56 DJ’s Five Days of Tax Prep Hell02:25 How DJ Earned Free Cruise Rooms03:49 The Cruise Disaster: “Your Warrant Is Not My Responsibility”05:23 Taco Bell, Below Deck & Recovering From the Cancellation06:44 Would DJ & Kelly Survive Dungeons & Dragons?08:06 The Freedom — and Horror — of Being Cringe09:45 One Night Only: The Purge, But for Sex13:29 Spider-Man: Brand New Day14:13 Super Troopers 315:41 I Want Your Sex16:49 Why Isn’t Gen Z Having Sex?18:52 The WNBA Protest Stunt20:36 Why Is Electricity So Expensive?22:35 Things Nobody Tells You About Owning a House23:45 DJ’s Unwavering Loyalty to Irish Spring27:29 Political Hypocrisy & Ken Paxton32:46 Max Miller & Political Scandals35:31 Matt Gaetz Invades DJ’s Facebook Algorithm37:24 The Lindsay Clancy Trial45:10 Boston, Justice & an Interesting Way to End a Podcast46:03 Patreon, Live Happy Hours & What’s Next PATREON BONUS 46:59 Does Jell-O Expire? DJ Finds Out48:47 The Cruise That Never Happened49:40 Why This Podcast Is Almost Impossible to Clip52:31 Rage Bait & the Internet Attention Span53:25 The Last House: What the Hell Was That?57:13 Back to Tax Hell58:54 The $1 Taco Bell Quesarito That Costs $1.60 Locked and Probably Loaded, DJ Qualls, Kelly Blackheart, One Night Only movie, One Night Only review, Spider-Man Brand New Day, Spider-Man Brand New Day review, Tom Holland Spider-Man, Super Troopers 3, Super Troopers 3 review, I Want Your Sex movie, I Want Your Sex review, Olivia Wilde, Gregg Araki, Cooper Hoffman, The Last House Netflix, The Last House review, new movies 2026, movie reviews 2026, comedy podcast, pop culture podcast, Lindsay Clancy trial, Lindsay Clancy, WNBA controversy, Royce White WNBA, Enes Kanter WNBA, DJ and Kelly Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of Locked & Probably Loaded, DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart dive into late-night overthinking, documentary rabbit holes, anxiety spirals, sleep deprivation, and why "research is not a nighttime activity." They also share stories about organizing their homes, finding unexpected gratitude, cruise planning disasters, and the strange tricks that actually helped improve their moods. If you've ever stayed awake Googling yourself into a panic, this episode is for you. 00:00 Welcome & DJ's Sleepless Night 01:00 Why Late-Night Research Is a Bad Idea 03:00 The Documentaries We Can (and Can't) Watch 08:00 Acting Crazy Might Actually Keep You Safe 11:00 Can Smiling Actually Change Your Mood? 14:00 Organization, Gratitude & Sleepless Nights 20:00 The Rabbit Hole of Jewelry and Collecting 25:00 Why We Can Never Finish Organizing 31:00 The Worst Chore in the World 33:00 Why This Podcast Makes Us Happier 35:00 DJ's Cruise Dilemma sleep anxiety overthinking can't sleep late night thoughts mental health documentaries true crime documentaries heist documentaries gratitude organization decluttering podcast DJ Qualls Kelly Blackheart Locked and Probably Loaded comedy podcast friendship podcast sleep tips anxiety podcast Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart recap one of their most chaotic weeks yet, beginning with a hilariously brutal review of Her Private Hell, a film so bizarre that they couldn't stop talking about it long after leaving the theater. They also share their spoiler-free thoughts on The Odyssey, discuss Hollywood filmmaking, storytelling, and what separates artistic ambition from self-indulgence. The conversation continues with stories from their Puerto Vallarta vacation, including travel mishaps, a nationwide T-Mobile outage that convinced them the apocalypse had begun, getting trapped in an elevator in Mexico, first-class flight upgrades, food poisoning before a flight home, awkward fan encounters, vacation disasters, and Kelly's newest hobby: learning to sew. If you enjoy movie reviews, behind-the-scenes Hollywood conversations, travel stories, comedy, and unfiltered conversations about filmmaking and life, this episode is packed with laughs, unexpected detours, and plenty of chaos. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart record their latest (and most chaotic) episode yet after battling internet issues, late-night recording, and travel exhaustion. They break down DJ's nightmare airline experience returning from Toronto, discuss the current state of consumer protections, corporate consolidation, Hollywood's obsession with algorithms over creativity, and why independent filmmakers are being pushed out of the industry. The conversation also covers their upcoming Mexico trip, behind-the-scenes stories from the entertainment industry, a review of a recent movie, a hilarious Supernatural fan encounter, Conor McGregor's UFC injury, the changing landscape of television and film, and why audiences are craving original storytelling more than ever. If you love candid conversations about Hollywood, filmmaking, current events, travel, pop culture, and behind-the-scenes entertainment stories, this episode is packed with honest opinions, laughs, and plenty of unexpected detours. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, we're covering everything from America's Got Talent and dating horror stories to Botox, world records, and why some people should never send a text after the first date. We react to our friends The Doohickeys' appearance on America's Got Talent, discuss how reality TV editing can completely change a performance, and celebrate Kelsey Pfendler's incredible solo row from California to Hawaii after she shattered the previous record. Plus, we dive into cosmetic procedures, travel prep for Mexico, weed and creativity, dating etiquette, first-date red flags, Taco Bell cravings, and the random conversations that somehow become our favorite parts of every episode. If you enjoy comedy podcasts, pop culture, relationship stories, current events, and conversations that go completely off the rails, this episode is for you. Topics This Week The Doohickeys on America's Got Talent Reality TV editing and talent competitions Why musical comedy is harder than it looks Botox, fillers, and cosmetic procedure horror stories Preparing for Mexico (and forgetting luggage) Dating horror stories and first-date red flags The viral text that guaranteed there wouldn't be a second date Kelsey Pfendler's record-breaking Pacific Ocean row Weed, creativity, productivity, and sleep Taco Bell, trivia night, and travel planning Chapters 00:00 – DJ's chaotic packing day & travel prep 05:18 – The Doohickeys on America's Got Talent 11:20 – Botox, fillers & plastic surgery culture 16:25 – Mexico trip planning 18:15 – Kelly explains why she quit dating 19:45 – The worst first-date text ever 23:45 – Dating safety & favorite-date locations 29:05 – Kelsey Pfendler's historic Pacific row 33:10 – Weed, productivity & creativity 39:20 – Sauerkraut, Taco Bell & movie theater snacks 41:30 – Cameos, Patreon & community updates 48:20 – Movie recommendations & TV talk 52:00 – Canada Day, friendships & wrapping up Follow us: @LoadedPod Send your questions for Unquallsified Advice to [email protected] Join the Patreon for bonus episodes, live hangouts, and behind-the-scenes content at patreon.com/loadedpod. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Fourth of July gave us more material than we could've written ourselves. This week, DJ and Kelly break down the unbelievable Independence Day celebrations that felt straight out of a satire, share behind-the-scenes stories from Kelly's birthday week, debate whether Supergirl is getting unfairly trashed online, and review Young Washington, Leviticus, and the painfully unfunny Scary Movie 6. They also discuss a woman leaving America to move to Afghanistan for a man she met on Snapchat, why public behavior seems to be getting more unhinged, disastrous flight delays, sneaking snacks into movie theaters, and how a dog with a taste for coconut oil created an unforgettable night. If you love comedy podcasts with pop culture, movies, current events, and completely unfiltered conversations, this episode is for you. In this episode: Fourth of July celebrations that couldn't have gone more wrong Politics, hope, and why voting still matters Kelly's birthday adventures Rhino's coconut oil disaster Why Supergirl deserves better reviews Young Washington and one unforgettable theater audience Our review of Leviticus Why Scary Movie 6 completely missed the mark A woman moving to Afghanistan after meeting someone on Snapchat Airline lounge etiquette, flight delays, and travel horror stories Sneaking snacks into movie theaters and discovering Southgate Chapters 00:00 – Welcome & microphone struggles 01:59 – Fourth of July chaos and political discussion 05:43 – Kelly's painting story 07:45 – Rhino's coconut oil disaster 10:05 – Birthday week & meeting an actress from You're the Worst 11:33 – Japanese BBQ & California life 15:08 – Teen takeovers, parenting & public behavior 19:09 – We'll Be Right Back 19:23 – Why Undertone doesn't work 20:53 – DJ & Kelly at the Movies 21:53 – Supergirl review 28:17 – Young Washington review 33:42 – A woman moving to Afghanistan for a Snapchat romance 37:38 – Relationships, cults & manipulation 40:49 – Break 41:19 – Scary Movie 6, Leviticus & Regal Unlimited 43:27 – Southgate adventure & movie theater stories 52:20 – Flight delays & airport lounge etiquette 59:21 – Wrapping up & what's next Follow & Subscribe: If you're enjoying the show, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Send us your questions for Unquallsified Advice: [email protected] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

After a short break, DJ & Kelly are back—and kicking off a brand new era of Locked & Probably Loaded. This week, we catch up on everything that's happened while we were away, including Kelly's birthday celebration at the legendary Magic Castle, where one impossible illusion left us questioning reality (seriously... where did that goose come from?). Kelly's brother Scott joins us to tell the unbelievable story of accidentally getting turned away at the Magic Castle because of the dress code, leading to a frantic Hollywood scooter adventure, an emergency wardrobe change, and one very memorable entrance. We also review every movie we've seen since DJ got his Regal Unlimited pass, including Backrooms, Masters of the Universe, The Sheep Detectives, I Love Boosters, Disclosure Day, Stop That Train, Obsession, and Scary Movie 6. Which movies surprised us? Which ones were worth the hype? And which one earned our brand-new "Y'all Shouldn't Have Done That" award? Plus, we rant about shrinkflation, sunscreen getting smaller and more expensive, Magic Castle etiquette, internet disasters while recording remotely, aphantasia, movie theater obsession, and plenty of the completely unqualified conversations you'd expect from us. In this episode: Behind the scenes of our podcast relaunch Magic Castle dress code chaos The impossible goose magic trick Scott's Hollywood scooter adventure Honest movie reviews & rankings Regal Unlimited movie challenge Shrinkflation and rising prices Current events and ridiculous headlines Aphantasia explained Why strangers should never knock on Kelly's door If you enjoyed the episode, please rate, review, and subscribe—it really helps us grow! Join our Patreon for video episodes, early access, monthly live happy hours, and bonus content. Follow us: Instagram & TikTok: @loadedpod Email: [email protected] Patreon: patreon.com/loadedpod Magic Castle, Magic Castle Hollywood, Magic Castle review, movie reviews podcast, Regal Unlimited review, Backrooms movie review, Masters of the Universe movie, Scary Movie 6 review, comedy podcast, DJ Qualls, Kelly Blackheart, Hollywood stories, movie podcast, entertainment podcast, comedy discussion. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Isaac's Fairwell episode Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.