440: Milan A. - first call (2023)

🔸 Genie's year-one review 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Listening back, I notice the shift in energy after meditation. I should offer that sooner. It’s not true that I never skip 'feel towards', I just wanted to drive it home here. In fact, her intuition of “ask it for space or to see me” is likely how I would respond (with second part). So perhaps she's bringing 201 skills to a 101 exam. Or I'm failing my exam-creator exam. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Performing for no one, managed to be pretty.2️⃣ The 5 year old and the dark spot. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Too pushy? Yes, I can hear it: “Don’t say it again, James! Give it a rest, try direct access!” Maybe I should have! But, I'm in the dark a lot here. My concern with D.A. is that I may get sideswiped, ghosted, and/or have my own frustrated parts come up. I can’t see in, so we’re playing telephone. I was suspicious about "The 5 year old is the manager", but didn't want to risk losing momentum. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Thanks for the dress, it'll go with my mask. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 I'm supposed to surrender to Self because... I'm stupid? -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 What to say when "you’re not listening to me" -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Deeply cut, not ok. The worst breakup. 2️⃣ I can't process my way out of this. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Plenty I could do differently... It’s hard! Maybe because I relate so much. So I kept checking in w parts in me. And that limited how much I could show up for her. But I don’t know another way. There are times I feel like I'm not doing a great job In guiding caller, but my biggest regrets come from ignoring my own parts. 2️⃣ Nothing at all! Whatever allows me to witness and participate in this, I'm grateful for. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 The rebel wants me to be myself... too much? 🔹 Parts: The rebel, strong, important to be myself, doesn’t like being told what to do, snowballing. Teenagery. Likes its job, but not pushing people away, and sad & angry about locking up parts when it wants freedom. Trusts Milan, rather team up w cheerleader The people pleaser, stays locked up by rebel. Possible exile(s): feeling of being controlled, memories of a family member, 3 yo, felt small. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Call recorded March '23. Didn't want to be too challenging, I reigned in some of the more probing questions like “what does it mean by ‘being myself’”, is that the same as IFS-Self? If so… can there be too much? Philosophical stuff that may be answered in the process. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 A glimpse over the edge 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Too much dot-connecting / guessing? -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 A bad habit. Why can’t we get this off of us? -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 She can't sing like that. 🔹 Parts: P Distracted humming, decoy P teeth grinding/self harm. Stop singing, learn the truth. Worried about how I’ll respond and get into trouble. Stop me crying out loud when I was a baby. P we’ve been through this before, it’s a load of shit. Make up some stuff and get out, been working on it so long, if you haven’t got it by now, you never will E crying alone in crib, confused. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Get permission before sharing my parts. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire