Haven!

I was driving with my friend Gaia, who works as an in-house middle school therapist, as she breezed through some girl drama she helped some kids navigate that week. In the middle of her recap she said, almost offhand, “Well, you know...everything falls apart in seventh grade.” I looked at her and said, “Gaia, that is your book title!!!" We all can relate to having felt that way. Seventh grade shakes everything loose, and in this episode we want to understand why. We both remember how disorienting that year felt. It is the middle of the middle, a stretch where identity shifts, friendships wobble, and everyone is trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. We start by laughing through our own memories, the trends we chased, the identities we tried on, and the moments that still live in our minds. Beneath every meltdown or friendship crisis sit the same two questions, "Who am I and who am I connected to?" Together we explore how parents can stay close when their child pulls away, how to let kids struggle in ways that build strength, and how to make sense of friend groups, independence, shifting interests, and the pressure kids feel to define themselves before they are ready. If you have a middle schooler, if you remember the ache of that age, or if you want a clearer sense of what your child is stepping into, this conversation will hopefully help.

Are we actually friends or are we just sharing Slack threads and the same calendar invites? This week we dive into that in between space of coworker relationships and genuine friendship—where you might spend forty hours a week together yet still wonder if you would ever hang out outside the office. I bring in my business partner and closest colleague, Kyle Walbrun. We’ve been through some wild seasons together, including the day I had an emergency C-section at 36 weeks and my maternity leave started with just one hour of notice. Moments like that bonded us, yet they still lived inside the structure of work. We talk about why I keep wishing we had more words for the different types of friendship, the way Greek has multiple words for love, since the word “friend” can mean everything from your ride-or-die bestie to your neighbor to your gym buddy. We also get into why resignations always feel shocking even though most people cannot say what they’re truly feeling before they leave, and the instant ick I get when people use the phrase “work husband” or “work wife.” If you’ve ever struggled to name what a coworker actually is to you, this episode gives language and clarity for that weird in between space of someone you may even spend more time with during the week than your actual family!

How do you talk to your kids about sex? And at what age do you start? The “birds and bees” conversation has evolved, especially in a world where most kids encounter digital content long before they’re ready for it. In this episode we start with my own awkward, memorable introduction to “the talk” which has been the norm for the last few decades when it comes to educating our kids about sex. Then sitting down with Megan Michelson and Mary Flo Ridley, the incredible duo behind Birds & Bees, they help unpack how parents can have ongoing, age-appropriate conversations about sex, anatomy, and consent. We discuss their recommendation of “drip, drip, drip” method of communication, helping parents build trust by introducing topics early and naturally instead of saving it for one uncomfortable lecture. We talk about practical tools for navigating conversations about: Anatomy Birth stories Sensory seeking body exploration Pornography exposure Puberty If you’ve ever wondered when to start these talks or how to approach them without shame or panic, this discussion may help give you language, confidence, and a framework to begin. They also so graciously offered 20% off to my listeners for their online course using code HAVEN20 - I can’t recommend them enough!

Perhaps a surprise to no one but my husband Aaron is neurodivergent :) When he was diagnosed later in life, it explained a lot... and raised even more questions. There’s plenty of conversation online about understanding neurodivergence itself, but far less about how it shapes relationships, especially marriage. In this episode, we talk openly about what it’s like to be married to someone who doesn’t process the world in the same way you do (& funnily enough this comes out the day after our 13th wedding anniversary!) I remember years ago he once told me he and a friend connect like “two different alien species who aren't of the same planet, but definitely aren't from Earth so they get each other" And my initial thought was "Well...if you're an alien - what does that make me?" He described me as the “human astronaut researcher” trying to understand him. It’s a metaphor that captures both the distance and the deep curiosity that can exist in these partnerships. We also talk about the current buzz around neurodivergence, how public conversations often miss the relational side of it, and why learning to understand each other, and even CELEBRATE each other rather than trying to change one other, has been one of the most meaningful parts of our marriage.

Memory Monday! This throwback was my very first podcast episode. I was winging it (still am, in many ways) and decided to start with a topic that kept coming up in every conversation with my friends who are also in our 30s: “Do we do Botox? Is it preventative? Should we have already started? Are we too late??” In this episode, I unpack the deeper questions behind those conversations. Why do we make changes to our bodies? What motivates those choices? Are our thoughts about ourselves innate, or do they form through outside voices and early influences? And when a thought about our appearance pops up, how often do we pause to ask, “Is that actually true? Do I really believe that?” I also share my perspective on the preferred term of "body neutrality" as opposed to "body positivity" and, even many episodes later, I’m still proud of this one from the archives.

Big Sis / Lil Sis Mentorship: When You’re Still Learning but They’re Looking Up to You What does it look like to mentor someone just a step behind you while you’re still figuring life out yourself? In this episode we explore what I've come to call a “big sis / lil sis” dynamic. Kind of like you're in your Senior year and they are a Freshman - it’s not really a polished "figured it all out and am on the other side of success" expertise but more along the lines of walking alongside someone who happens to be a few years behind on the journey watching you navigate your own growth. There's actually an entire Bluey episode that captures the tension of leading while still learning (shout out to Mia in "Barky Boats" thanks for the inspo.) I bring on someone dear to me, Ciella, a lil sis if you will, and we talk about how to choose the right people to speak into your life, what it means to listen even when the advice stings, and how friendships, business, and marriage can overlap with mentorship in unexpected ways. Whether you’re the one looking up or the one being looked to (or perhaps both at the same time in difference scenarios), this conversation is about the messy, valuable, and often surprising role of guiding and being guided when nobody has it all figured out.

In this episode, I get to sit down with two of my favorite voices in the parenting space, Sissy Goff and David Thomas. Sissy wrote The Worry-Free Parent and Raising Worry-Free Girls, and David wrote Raising Emotionally Strong Boys. Their books have been such a gift to me in my own friend circle / mom book club, and this conversation felt like talking to two friends. Instead of piling on more “fix your kid” advice, it reminds us that the best gift we can give our kids is our own emotional health. We talk about how our regulation becomes their regulation, how to stop worry loops before they spill over, and how to resist that urge to swoop in and rescue (so hard, right?). They share so many practical tools for caring for our own minds and hearts so we can model resilience for our kids. We also get into what it looks like to notice our child’s unique temperament without projecting our fears, and simple ways to coach kids through big feelings - naming emotions, breathing, coping strategies, and even letting them do the “scary thing” without overstepping. Faith threads through the conversation too, reminding us that God equips us for the hard things He’s writing into our family’s story. Plus, I brought in your questions - everything from bedtime battles and grandparent POV to school drop off resiliency. And at the very end, I asked them something I think every overwhelmed parent needs to hear: if you’re maxed out and running on empty, what’s one small, doable thing you can try today to move toward being a little more worry-free?

We may think we know who we are marrying - but do we really KNOW the family they come from? In-laws can be one of the most layered and unspoken dynamics in marriage. When two people say “I do,” they aren’t just joining lives, they’re also stepping into entire family ecosystems with their own histories, expectations, rhythms, and quirks. Sometimes that looks like open arms and instant belonging, and other times it feels more like walking on eggshells, navigating conflict, or figuring out how to honor your family of origin without dishonoring your partner. In this episode I’m joined by my friend Brittany, who I gained as a friend in-law since I have known her husband Josh since childhood! She also joined her husband’s family long before their wedding day and had years to “date” her in-laws before becoming their daughter-in-law. Her story contrasts with my own, where engagement was met with tension, boundaries had to be redefined, and later healing came through honest late-night conversations on the couch. Threaded through our convo are bigger questions every couple faces: How do you set healthy boundaries without burning bridges? How do you make peace with what may never change? And how do you stay grounded in love when the dynamics feel complicated? Whether your story looks more like Brittany’s, mine, or somewhere in between, this episode is an honest look at the beauty and the challenges of “marrying the family too.”

In part two of my conversation with my friend Albert, we go deeper into what being a “good dad” truly means to him as shares the small but powerful & super intentional ways he stays connected to his family throughout each season. In this episode we talk about: 💬 How you can define a “good dad” 🤗 Why he never lets go first in a hug with his daughter 📸 The meaning behind taking a photo when his son holds his hand 💍 How respecting his wife shapes his fatherhood 🪞 Modeling the kind of relationships he hopes his kids will seek This part of the conversation was extended into a two-parter on the spot because we just kept talking so long on the topic!! By the end, I had cornered him into committing to come back for another round, because I know we’ve only scratched the surface of his wisdom here. ENJOY!

Are You A Good Dad? This one’s been sitting with me for a while. I often hear moms wondering aloud, “Am I a good mom?” And what the parenting experts say is that the moms who even ask that question are usually the ones who care enough to be doing a pretty great job. But when it comes to dads... it’s different. I don’t hear that same level of wondering or reflection as often. With fatherhood - how can you tell if you’re a good dad?  And are you even able to label yourself as that or do you have to wait until your kids are adults and they’re ultimately the ones to answer that question? I’m joined by someone I’ve wanted to bring on the podcast for over a year - Albert Aquino. He’s an intentional father, a steady husband, and one of the men I genuinely believe makes the world better just by the way he lives. Albert and I talk about what shapes men into fathers. Where do dads today get their blueprint for parenting? Are they drawing from strong role models, or starting from scratch? We both reflect on the examples in our own families - my dad and Albert’s experience growing up - and how those legacies influence the way we parent now. In this episode we talk about : 👨‍👧 What it really means to be a “good dad"? 🧠 Where men get their wisdom about fatherhood 💼 Recognizing the “provider mode” trap ❤️ Cultivating emotional closeness at home We actually yapped so much that we went way overtime and had to make it a two-parter... So, for this week - enjoy Part 1 of this conversation!