Ep #312: Why It’s Hard to Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings (Part 2)

#389: Have you ever felt like failure defines you? Like missing a goal, making a mistake, or falling short is proof that you’re broken or incapable? In this episode, I explore what failure really is and how our interpretation of it shapes whether we get stuck or grow. Drawing on my own experiences, from life coaching to ceramics, I explore how the stories we tell ourselves after failure can either trap us or propel us forward. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/389 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #39: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even when those protections feel confusing or frustrating.First, why do I feel anxious and disoriented after talking to my mom, even when the conversation seemed “fine”? We’ll explore how old relational patterns, emotional labor, and unspoken survival strategies can leave your body braced and buzzing long after you hang up.Next, we unpack what’s really going on when you pull your hair without realizing it. If you’ve ever felt ashamed about this, please know you are not broken. You’ll learn how body-focused behaviors like hair pulling can be unconscious attempts to regulate or ground when your system doesn’t have other tools.Finally, we explore what it means to be physically present, but mentally checked out. If you’ve felt like you’re watching your life from a distance or constantly lagging behind real time, this conversation on dissociation and functional freeze will help you understand why, and what you can do about it.You’ll walk away with insight, compassion, and nervous-system-centered practices to support your healing from the inside out. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#388: Do you ever notice how the way you talk to yourself shapes everything - your mood, your decisions, and how you show up in the world? Join me today to learn how to notice your habitual self-talk, pause to observe it, and begin shifting it with intention. I guide you through understanding the power of your “second brain” and how old thought patterns shape your feelings and actions. We’ll also explore useful tools for pressing pause on our thoughts to consider whether they're helping us build the healthy, fulfilling life that we deserve. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/388 Check out my courses here:https://beatrizalbina.com/workwithme/ Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#387: Are you exhausted by the endless drive to be perfect? Do you find yourself constantly overthinking, overproducing, or feeling like nothing you do is ever enough? This week, I dive into the patterns behind perfectionism and why striving for flawless results can keep you stuck. We’ll explore how perfectionism shows up in your daily life - from over-preparing and overexplaining to people-pleasing and second-guessing yourself - and why these habits aren’t personal failures, but survival strategies your nervous system learned early on. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/387 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #38: What if chronic pain, anxiety, burnout, and people pleasing all stem from the same underlying pattern?In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author, psychotherapist, and mind-body medicine expert Nicole Sachs to explore the hidden connection between trauma, the nervous system, and what I call emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing is the habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth instead of cultivating those things within.Together, we unpack why so many of us learned to disconnect from ourselves in order to stay connected to others, how those survival strategies become wired into the nervous system, and why healing is about far more than managing symptoms.We also explore how people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent patterns contribute to chronic stress, why boundaries can feel so threatening, and how small, intentional shifts can help you rebuild self-trust.Whether you're living with chronic symptoms, struggling to set boundaries, or simply longing to feel more at home in yourself, this conversation offers a compassionate and science-informed perspective on what healing can look like.If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with someone who might need this conversation.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Learn more about Nicole Sachs: https://www.yourbreakawake.com

#386: Do you ever find yourself giving to others while quietly wondering if your own needs are being met? Are you unsure how to identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want? In this episode, I explore the often overlooked patterns that make it hard to distinguish your genuine wants and needs from the expectations of those around you. By the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to notice the difference between your authentic needs and habitual responses, reclaim your sense of agency, and start making choices that honor both your values and your well-being. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/386 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#385: Do you feel like your confidence vanished when the structure, role, or life you relied on disappeared? Have you ever wondered why you feel shaky, uncertain, or like a stranger to yourself after major life transitions? This week, I explore what happens to our confidence after a rupture and how to rebuild it in a way that is truly yours. I dive into the difference between borrowed confidence and internal confidence, and why relying on roles, approval, or external validation sets you up for wobble when life inevitably changes. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/385 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #37: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you can’t stop thinking about your ex and keep reaching for “closure,” even though you know they won’t give you what you need? We’ll explore why this craving is less about them and more about your nervous system’s longing for completion, and how to create that sense of closure from within.Then we turn toward the ache of constantly seeking reassurance, even in a loving, safe relationship. If you find yourself asking “Are we okay?” again and again, this part is for you. We’ll unpack the roots of that pattern and talk about how to gently retrain your nervous system to trust safety, love, and steadiness without outsourcing your emotional security.You’ll walk away with nervous system-informed tools, a whole lot of compassion, and a deeper understanding of why your brain and body respond the way they do. Because you’re not broken. You’re healing.So settle in, grab your cozy beverage of choice, and let’s get into it.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#384: Do you ever feel like your nervous system is on autopilot, constantly stuck in survival mode, and that a quick "reset" could somehow erase all your stress and trauma? Tune in this week as I unpack why there is no magic button to instantly reset your nervous system, and why chasing one might actually make things worse. We dive into what your nervous system is really doing when it reacts to stress, trauma, or emotional challenges, and why these responses aren’t malfunctions but intelligent, survival-driven adaptations.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/384 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#383: Ever feel like the roles in your life - partner, parent, friend, employee - are colliding in ways that leave you exhausted and unsure of who you are supposed to be? In this episode, I’m unpacking the subtle and pervasive experience of role confusion and how it can sneak into your life without you even realizing it. We explore how taking on others’ expectations, trying to manage everyone’s emotions, and overextending yourself creates a constant state of overwhelm. This isn’t just about being busy. It’s a misalignment between what your nervous system is actually capable of handling and the roles you feel you must perform. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/383 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety