Porn Free Millennial Podcast

Getting Everything You Want Is the REAL Horror | Obsession Movie Analysis | Dr. Gregory BorseUnmasking Our Obsession: The Horror of Getting Everything You DesireWhat if getting everything you’ve ever wanted turned out to be the most terrifying thing imaginable?Welcome to Porn Free Millennial’s Third Annual Halloween Special! 🎃This year, Dr. Gregory Borse returns to explore the psychological horror film Obsession (2026), a disturbing story about desire, infatuation, control, and the terrifying consequences of getting exactly what you wish for.But beneath the film’s unsettling premise lies an even more uncomfortable question:Are we living through an obsession epidemic of our own making?In a culture saturated with pornography, sexualized entertainment, social media, and instant gratification, we’ve become increasingly accustomed to pursuing whatever we desire, whenever we desire it.But what happens when desire becomes obsession? When attraction becomes possession? When the people we claim to love become little more than objects of our fantasies?And perhaps most importantly, what happens when getting everything we want leaves us with nothing we actually need?Joining me once again is Dr. Gregory Borse, professor, author, and film enthusiast, for a deep dive into the psychological, philosophical, and cultural themes of Obsession.Together, we examine how horror films expose uncomfortable truths about human nature, why unchecked desire can become destructive, and how the film’s central themes mirror our modern relationship with pornography, intimacy, and personal freedom.In This Episode, We Explore:* Obsession (2026): The film’s premise, symbolism, psychological horror, and underlying messages.* The Psychology of Obsession: Where does healthy attraction end and unhealthy fixation begin?* Pornography and Modern Desire: How unlimited access to sexual content can shape our expectations of intimacy, relationships, and gratification.* Love vs. Possession: The dangerous difference between loving someone and wanting to control them.* The Instant Gratification Epidemic: How modern technology encourages us to chase pleasure without considering its consequences.* Horror as Cultural Commentary: Why some of the most unsettling horror stories reveal truths about the world we inhabit.* The Paradox of Freedom: Can getting everything we desire ultimately become another form of imprisonment?The Question Worth AskingWho’s really obsessed with whom?We often imagine freedom as the ability to do whatever we want, whenever we want.But what if genuine freedom requires something far more difficult?The ability to say no to ourselves.Obsession provides a chilling opportunity to examine the difference between pursuing our desires and becoming prisoners of them.And in a world increasingly defined by consumption, stimulation, and the relentless pursuit of pleasure, that distinction may be more important than ever.About Professor Gregory BorseProfessor Gregory Borse is an educator, writer, and film enthusiast with a passion for exploring the deeper meanings behind storytelling, cinema, literature, and culture.A returning guest and longtime friend of Porn Free Millennial, Professor Borse brings a thoughtful, analytical perspective to our annual Halloween specials, examining how horror films reflect the fears, desires, moral dilemmas, and cultural challenges of our time.His conversations with host Mac Dohm go beyond traditional film criticism, exploring the intersection of human psychology, sexuality, relationships, faith, and the consequences of unchecked desire.For our 3rd Annual Halloween Special, Professor Borse returns to dissect Obsession, examining the unsettling distinction between love and possession, the dangers of manufactured intimacy, and what happens when our deepest desires become our greatest nightmares.Connect with Dr. Gregory Borse About Porn Free MillennialPorn Free Millennial is dedicated to helping people break free from pornography, overcome shame, build meaningful relationships, and rediscover lives of purpose, connection, and personal freedom.Through conversations about recovery, psychology, faith, culture, and the human condition, we challenge the narratives that keep people trapped and explore what it truly means to live free.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free.Keep Fighting the Good Fight.Join the ConversationHave you watched Obsession? What did you take away from its portrayal of desire and control?Do you believe our culture has developed an unhealthy relationship with instant gratification?And here’s the bigger question:Is true freedom getting everything you want, or learning that you don’t need everything you want?Share your thoughts and join the conversation.Resources to Help You Break Free1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re struggling with pornography, shame, or feeling stuck in patterns you want to change, you don’t have to navigate recovery alone.I offer a FREE one-hour discovery call where we can discuss your struggles, your goals, and what recovery might look like in your life.For those interested in continued support, I offer personalized 8-week and 12-week coaching programs focused on accountability, rebuilding integrity, and developing healthier habits.Schedule Your FREE 1-Hour Discovery Call →🔒 Take Your Online Accountability to the Next LevelI’ve used Ever Accountable as my online accountability software for almost two years, and it’s been an important part of my recovery.Technology alone won’t create freedom, but building transparency and accountability into your digital life can make a tremendous difference.Through my partnership with Ever Accountable, you can try the software FREE for 14 days and receive 20% OFF monthly or yearly plans.Try Ever Accountable — 14 Days FREE + 20% OFF →Affiliate disclosure: I may earn a commission when you subscribe through my link, at no additional cost to you. Your support helps keep Porn Free Millennial going.About Porn Free MillennialI’m Mac Dohm, creator and host of Porn Free Millennial.After struggling with pornography for more than 20 years, I began my recovery journey in 2018.Today, I share personal experiences, honest conversations, and practical resources to help men break free from pornography, overcome shame, rebuild relationships, and live lives of integrity.Through my writing, podcast, and coaching, I explore recovery, faith, accountability, emotional healing, and what it means to live a life you don’t want to escape from.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free.Join the ConversationI want to leave you with a question:Who has shown you unconditional love during one of the most difficult seasons of your life?Maybe it was a parent, a spouse, a friend, your faith, or a beloved pet.What did their love teach you?I’d love to hear your story in the comments.And here’s a small challenge for this week:Reach out to someone who loved you through a difficult season and tell them what their love has meant to you.Don’t wait until they’re gone to express your gratitude.If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need a reminder that they are loved, valued, and capable of change.To Bo, my old friend and loyal shadow:Thank you for eight incredible years. Thank you for staying by my side. And thank you for teaching me what unconditional love looks like.Keep fighting the good fight.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free.— MacSupport the PodcastIf this conversation challenged your thinking, please consider:* Following/Subscribing to stay up to date → Substack, YouTube, Apple, Spotify* Leaving a 5-star review (if applicable, helps get the episode to more people)* Sharing this episode with someone who loves film, philosophy, or recoveryReady to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to s… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

What My Dog Taught Me About Unconditional Love, Shame & Porn Addiction RecoveryLessons from an Old Dog — A tribute to Bo, my loyal companion through heartbreak, recovery, and rebuilding my life.What if one of the greatest lessons about unconditional love didn’t come from another person, but from an old dog?For eight years, my dog Bo stood beside me through some of the darkest and most transformative moments of my life.He witnessed my marriage, my struggles with pornography, the breakdown of that marriage, my divorce, and the long journey of recovery and rebuilding my life.He was there when I hit rock bottom.He was there when shame convinced me I wasn’t worthy of love.He was there when I began picking up the pieces of a life I thought I’d lost.And through it all, he never stopped loving me.On August 9, 2026, I said goodbye to Bo. He was 17 years old.Losing him was incredibly difficult. I needed some time away from the podcast to grieve, reflect, and appreciate everything this little dog had taught me.Now, I’m back with an episode that’s especially close to my heart.In this episode of Porn Free Millennial, I’m honoring Bo’s memory by sharing my poem, Lessons from an Old Dog, and reflecting on the importance of unconditional love in overcoming shame, addiction, and heartbreak.Because sometimes one of the greatest obstacles in recovery isn’t simply changing our behavior.It’s believing we’re still worthy of love despite our mistakes.In This Episode, We Explore:* How Bo accompanied me through porn addiction recovery, divorce, and heartbreak.* Why unconditional love matters when overcoming guilt and shame.* How living a secret life can damage our ability to connect with others.* Why recovery is about more than simply quitting pornography.* The comfort, companionship, and emotional healing our pets can provide.* How faith, grace, and forgiveness helped me rebuild my identity.* Three practical ways to demonstrate unconditional love to the people in our lives.Episode Chapters00:00 — Lessons from an Old Dog01:06 — Welcome Back & Recovery Resources05:02 — What Bo Taught Me About Unconditional Love08:22 — Overcoming Shame in Porn Addiction Recovery11:07 — Lessons from an Old Dog: A Personal Poem18:20 — Emotional Healing & Rebuilding Your Identity23:08 — Learning to Give and Receive Love27:15 — Final Lessons & Honoring Bo’s LegacyThe Bigger Lesson: You Are More Than Your AddictionWhen you’re struggling with pornography, it’s easy to convince yourself that if people knew the truth about you, they could never love you.I believed that lie for years.And that shame didn’t just affect my relationship with others. It affected my relationship with God and my ability to recognize the love already present in my life.But recovery has taught me something important.We are not defined solely by our worst decisions, our failures, or the things we’ve done in secret.Recovery is about reclaiming the parts of ourselves that addiction and shame have buried.It’s about rebuilding integrity, strengthening relationships, accepting grace, and learning how to love others more fully.And unconditional love doesn’t mean eliminating accountability or pretending our actions don’t have consequences.It means recognizing that our worth as human beings doesn’t disappear when we make mistakes.Bo couldn’t understand the complexity of my struggles. He didn’t know what pornography was or why I was hurting.But he knew how to be there.Sometimes that was exactly what I needed.And perhaps that’s one of the greatest lessons we can learn from the animals who share our lives.Love doesn’t always need words. Sometimes it simply needs presence.Read the Poem That Inspired This EpisodeIn May 2025, I wrote a poem called Lessons from an Old Dog.At the time, Bo was still alive, accompanying me on RV adventures and greeting each day with the enthusiasm of a puppy despite his age.Reading that poem now, after his passing, gives those words an entirely different meaning.It’s a tribute to a companion who witnessed my life change in ways I never could have imagined.Read Lessons from an Old Dog on Substack →Resources to Help You Break Free1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re struggling with pornography, shame, or feeling stuck in patterns you want to change, you don’t have to navigate recovery alone.I offer a FREE one-hour discovery call where we can discuss your struggles, your goals, and what recovery might look like in your life.For those interested in continued support, I offer personalized 8-week and 12-week coaching programs focused on accountability, rebuilding integrity, and developing healthier habits.Schedule Your FREE 1-Hour Discovery Call →🔒 Take Your Online Accountability to the Next LevelI’ve used Ever Accountable as my online accountability software for almost two years, and it’s been an important part of my recovery.Technology alone won’t create freedom, but building transparency and accountability into your digital life can make a tremendous difference.Through my partnership with Ever Accountable, you can try the software FREE for 14 days and receive 20% OFF monthly or yearly plans.Try Ever Accountable — 14 Days FREE + 20% OFF →Affiliate disclosure: I may earn a commission when you subscribe through my link, at no additional cost to you. Your support helps keep Porn Free Millennial going.About Porn Free MillennialI’m Mac Dohm, creator and host of Porn Free Millennial.After struggling with pornography for more than 20 years, I began my recovery journey in 2018.Today, I share personal experiences, honest conversations, and practical resources to help men break free from pornography, overcome shame, rebuild relationships, and live lives of integrity.Through my writing, podcast, and coaching, I explore recovery, faith, accountability, emotional healing, and what it means to live a life you don’t want to escape from.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free.Join the ConversationI want to leave you with a question:Who has shown you unconditional love during one of the most difficult seasons of your life?Maybe it was a parent, a spouse, a friend, your faith, or a beloved pet.What did their love teach you?I’d love to hear your story in the comments.And here’s a small challenge for this week:Reach out to someone who loved you through a difficult season and tell them what their love has meant to you.Don’t wait until they’re gone to express your gratitude.If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need a reminder that they are loved, valued, and capable of change.To Bo, my old friend and loyal shadow:Thank you for eight incredible years. Thank you for staying by my side. And thank you for teaching me what unconditional love looks like.Keep fighting the good fight.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free.— MacSupport the PodcastIf this conversation challenged your thinking, please consider:* Following/Subscribing to stay up to date → Substack, YouTube, Apple, Spotify* Leaving a 5-star review (if applicable, helps get the episode to more people)* Sharing this episode with someone who loves film, philosophy, or recoveryReady to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to stop white-knuckling recovery and build a life you don’t want to escape from, I’d love to help.Momentum Coaching includes:* Weekly 1:1 coaching sessions* Personalized recovery strategy* Accountability and habit building* Identity-focused recovery* Practical tools for long-term freedomSchedule a free 1 hour discovery callAdditional Questions?Email: [email protected] Software I Personally RecommendRecovery becomes much easier when you’re no longer fighting alone.I’ve personally used Ever Accountable for years as part of my own recovery journey. It’s one of the tools I tru… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Shame is one of the most misunderstood—and most destructive—forces behind addiction.Unlike guilt, which says “I did something bad,” shame whispers, “I am bad.” It convinces us we’re broken, unworthy, beyond repair, and incapable of lasting change. Left unchecked, it keeps us trapped in cycles of secrecy, isolation, perfectionism, and relapse.In this episode of the Porn Free Millennial Podcast, I sit down with my recovery coach and mentor, Vern Tompke, host of the Finding Traction Podcast, to unpack what shame really is, how to recognize it, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to begin walking in freedom.Drawing from Vern’s “Shame for Dummies” guide, we explore the stories that shape our identity, the lies we unknowingly believe, and the healing power of safe relationships, community, and faith.In This Episode* The critical difference between guilt and shame—and why confusing the two keeps many people stuck.* Why perfectionism is often one of the strongest indicators that shame is operating beneath the surface.* How childhood experiences quietly shape lifelong beliefs about ourselves.* The “fish in water” analogy that explains why shame is often difficult to recognize.* Common shame statements such as:* “I’m not enough.”* “I’m a failure.”* “I don’t belong.”* “I’m unlovable.”* “I ruin everything.”* How addiction often becomes a symptom of deeper shame rather than its source.* Why secret “closet stories” continue to hold power until they’re brought into the light.* The importance of trusted relationships and accountability in breaking shame’s grip.* How prayer, Scripture, and community help replace false identities with truth.* Practical steps anyone can begin taking today to identify and challenge shame.Memorable Quotes“Guilt says, ‘I did something bad.’ Shame says, ‘I am something bad.’”“Perfectionism is one of the greatest clues that shame is hiding underneath.”“Shame grows in darkness and isolation.”“Safe people help us hear truth louder than shame.”“The antidote to shame is being fully known and fully loved.”Resources Mentioned* Finding Traction Recovery Program* Finding Traction Alumni Groups* Pastors on Porn Podcast* Men’s Recovery Retreats* Scripture-based identity exercises* Accountability and recovery communityConnect with Vern TompkeVern Tompke is a recovery coach, mentor, and host of the Finding Traction Podcast and Pastors on Porn Podcast, helping men overcome pornography addiction through faith, accountability, and lasting transformation.Support the PodcastIf this conversation challenged your thinking, please consider:* Following/Subscribing to stay up to date → Substack, YouTube, Apple, Spotify* Leaving a 5-star review (if applicable, helps get the episode to more people)* Sharing this episode with someone who loves film, philosophy, or recoveryReady to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to stop white-knuckling recovery and build a life you don’t want to escape from, I’d love to help.Momentum Coaching includes:* Weekly 1:1 coaching sessions* Personalized recovery strategy* Accountability and habit building* Identity-focused recovery* Practical tools for long-term freedomSchedule a free 1 hour discovery callAdditional Questions?Email: [email protected] Software I Personally RecommendRecovery becomes much easier when you’re no longer fighting alone.I’ve personally used Ever Accountable for years as part of my own recovery journey. It’s one of the tools I trust and recommend because it creates real transparency and accountability across your devices.Ever Accountable helps you:* Stay accountable online* Monitor phones, tablets, and computers* Receive accountability reports* Reduce secrecy and isolation* Build consistent recovery habitsUse my link to receive:* 14-Day Free Trial* 20% OFF Monthly or Annual PlansConnect With Mac* Porn Free Millennial Substack* PFM YouTube* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Apple* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Spotify* The Personal Freedom Podcast Substack* The Personal Freedom Podcast YouTube* The Personal Freedom Podcast Apple* The Personal Freedom Podcast SpotifySupport the PublicationCheck out my nomadic art gallery for pictures, posters and prints showcasing my life on the road! Use the Code FREEDOM for 20% off.Art GalleryAccountability Software PFM DiscountIf you have been stuck and are tired of that horrible feeling, it’s time to test out accountability software on your devices. Software can provide that needed defense and friction to build up your confidence and discipline. I call it “rocket” fuel” for accountability!* Personally, I use Ever Accountable. Try this link for a limited 14 day free trial and 20% off after that 14 day trial expires.* To learn more about Ever Accountable, check out my interview with its CEO, Tyler Patterson.Affiliate Partnership: Ritual Organics (Organic Tallow Based Suncare Cream)Sun Tallow – Whipped Beef Tallow Face Cream with Non-Nano ZincCall to ActionIf this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who needs hope.If you’re ready to stop fighting alone, schedule a free Breaking Free Coaching consultation and begin building a life you don’t want to escape from. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Is modern entertainment becoming more sexualized—or are we simply noticing it more?In this deep philosophical discussion, I sit down once again with Dr. Gregory Borse, professor of English, philosophy, and film at the University of Arkansas at Monticello, to revisit one of our most popular conversations and ask a question many people have been wondering:Why does it feel like almost every TV show and movie today is pushing sexuality?Connect with Gregory Borse on X and Substack:Drawing from literature, film history, philosophy, psychology, and technology, we explore how pornography fits into a much larger cultural story. From Hitchcock and Shakespeare to Netflix, Christopher Nolan, AI, and social media, this conversation looks beyond headlines to examine how technology is reshaping not only entertainment—but how we experience reality itself.Whether you’re in recovery from pornography, interested in film, or simply wondering why culture feels different today, this episode offers a thoughtful perspective that challenges assumptions from every angle.In This Episode* Why modern movies and television seem increasingly sexualized* The relationship between pornography, technology, and culture* Why Dr. Borse argues that porn is a symptom—not the root problem* How streaming services changed the way entertainment is consumed* The evolution of pornography from the ancient world to the digital age* Mechanical reproduction, AI, and what they mean for art and authenticity* Why technology has become an extension of the human nervous system* The erosion of standards in entertainment and society* Hitchcock, Kubrick, Christopher Nolan, and the importance of meaningful storytelling* The difference between art that serves the story and gratuitous sexual content* Beauty, mystery, and why some things were historically understood to remain sacred* How recovering from pornography changes the way you experience media* Practical thoughts for navigating entertainment without living in fearBooks & Authors Mentioned* Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction — Walter Benjamin* Unbinding Prometheus — Donald Cowan* Homer* Shakespeare* Ancient Greek LiteratureFilms & Television Discussed* Psycho* Eyes Wide Shut* The Odyssey (Christopher Nolan)* True Detective* Breaking Bad* Sons of Anarchy* The HobbitPrevious Conversations with Dr. Gregory BorseIf you enjoyed this discussion, be sure to check out our earlier conversations together:* 14. The Evolution of Pornography Through Culture & Technology* 21. From Hobbits to Heroes: Talking Lord of the Rings and Conquering Challenges* 28. Porn Is a Vampire (Halloween Special)* 31. Lonely Fans (with Dr. Gregory Borse)* 48. The Exorcist, Porn & Possession* 49. Pay Attention to Your Dreams* 52. Hitchcock Saw It Coming: Psycho and the Age of PornConnect with Dr. Gregory BorseDr. Gregory Borse is a professor of English, Philosophy, and Film at the University of Arkansas at Monticello. His work explores literature, philosophy, aesthetics, storytelling, and the cultural forces shaping modern society.Connect on XConnect on SubstackSupport the PodcastIf this conversation challenged your thinking, please consider:* Following/Subscribing to stay up to date → Substack, YouTube, Apple, Spotify* Leaving a 5-star review (if applicable, helps get the episode to more people)* Sharing this episode with someone who loves film, philosophy, or recoveryReady to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to stop white-knuckling recovery and build a life you don’t want to escape from, I’d love to help.Momentum Coaching includes:* Weekly 1:1 coaching sessions* Personalized recovery strategy* Accountability and habit building* Identity-focused recovery* Practical tools for long-term freedomSchedule a free 1 hour discovery callAdditional Questions?Email: [email protected] Software I Personally RecommendRecovery becomes much easier when you’re no longer fighting alone.I’ve personally used Ever Accountable for years as part of my own recovery journey. It’s one of the tools I trust and recommend because it creates real transparency and accountability across your devices.Ever Accountable helps you:* Stay accountable online* Monitor phones, tablets, and computers* Receive accountability reports* Reduce secrecy and isolation* Build consistent recovery habitsUse my link to receive:* 14-Day Free Trial* 20% OFF Monthly or Annual PlansConnect With Mac* Porn Free Millennial Substack* PFM YouTube* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Apple* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Spotify* The Personal Freedom Podcast Substack* The Personal Freedom Podcast YouTube* The Personal Freedom Podcast Apple* The Personal Freedom Podcast SpotifySupport the PublicationCheck out my nomadic art gallery for pictures, posters and prints showcasing my life on the road! Use the Code FREEDOM for 20% off.Art GalleryAccountability Software PFM DiscountIf you have been stuck and are tired of that horrible feeling, it’s time to test out accountability software on your devices. Software can provide that needed defense and friction to build up your confidence and discipline. I call it “rocket” fuel” for accountability!* Personally, I use Ever Accountable. Try this link for a limited 14 day free trial and 20% off after that 14 day trial expires.* To learn more about Ever Accountable, check out my interview with its CEO, Tyler Patterson.Affiliate Partnership: Ritual Organics (Organic Tallow Based Suncare Cream)Sun Tallow – Whipped Beef Tallow Face Cream with Non-Nano ZincCall to ActionIf this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who needs hope.If you’re ready to stop fighting alone, schedule a free Breaking Free Coaching consultation and begin building a life you don’t want to escape from.SubscribeKeep fighting the good fight.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Why Most Porn Relapses Don’t Happen in One Moment | The Stopwatch Recovery FrameworkMost men believe relapse happens in a single moment of weakness.It doesn’t.Relapse usually begins long before pornography ever enters the picture. It starts with a trigger... then a compromise... then a series of small decisions that quietly build momentum until it feels almost impossible to stop.In this episode of Porn Free Millennial, I break down the Stopwatch Recovery Framework—a practical recovery tool developed by my recovery coach, Vern Tompke, that completely changed how I think about relapse.To download the stopwatch framework, see below or click this article: The Anatomy of a Relapse.To follow along on video, check out my YouTube Channel.Instead of fighting at the last possible moment, you’ll learn how to recognize the cycle early, interrupt it, and build lasting freedom one decision at a time.Whether you’re struggling with pornography, another unwanted habit, or simply trying to build greater self-control, this episode will help you understand why recovery is won long before the relapse ever happens.In This Episode* Why relapse is usually a gradual drift—not a spontaneous explosion* The biggest myth that keeps people stuck in recovery* Understanding the stages of the relapse cycle* Why emotional triggers matter more than sexual triggers* How stress, loneliness, boredom, rejection, and shame start the stopwatch* The difference between preoccupation and pursuit* Why white-knuckling almost always fails* Practical strategies to interrupt the cycle before momentum builds* Building accountability, boundaries, and recovery systems* The role of identity in long-term freedom* James Clear’s Atomic Habits and “votes for your identity”* Daily recovery habits that build lasting peaceThe Stopwatch Recovery Cycle* Peace* Trigger* Preempt* Preoccupation* Pursuit* Porn Event* Pain* Protect* Promise* Return to Peace through action—not empty promisesKey Takeaways* Recovery isn’t won at the point of temptation.* Small compromises create powerful momentum.* Every decision casts a vote for the person you’re becoming.* Freedom isn’t built through one heroic moment—it is built through hundreds of honest decisions.* Systems beat willpower.* Identity drives behavior.Resources Mentioned* Finding Traction Podcast — Vern Tompke* Pastors on Porn Podcast — Vern Tompke* Atomic Habits — James Clear* Porn Free Radio — Matt Dobschuetz* Pure Desire Ministries* Ever Accountable Accountability Software - 14 day free trial & 20% off yearly/monthly plans* Victory App by James Menendez* I Am Sober* Freedom AppReady to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to stop white-knuckling recovery and build a life you don’t want to escape from, I’d love to help.Momentum Coaching includes:* Weekly 1:1 coaching sessions* Personalized recovery strategy* Accountability and habit building* Identity-focused recovery* Practical tools for long-term freedomSchedule a free 1 hour discovery callAdditional Questions?Email: [email protected] Software I Personally RecommendRecovery becomes much easier when you’re no longer fighting alone.I’ve personally used Ever Accountable for years as part of my own recovery journey. It’s one of the tools I trust and recommend because it creates real transparency and accountability across your devices.Ever Accountable helps you:* Stay accountable online* Monitor phones, tablets, and computers* Receive accountability reports* Reduce secrecy and isolation* Build consistent recovery habitsUse my link to receive:* 14-Day Free Trial* 20% OFF Monthly or Annual PlansConnect With Mac* Porn Free Millennial Substack* PFM YouTube* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Apple* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Spotify* The Personal Freedom Podcast Substack* The Personal Freedom Podcast YouTube* The Personal Freedom Podcast Apple* The Personal Freedom Podcast SpotifySupport the PublicationCheck out my nomadic art gallery for pictures, posters and prints showcasing my life on the road! Use the Code FREEDOM for 20% off.Art GalleryAccountability Software PFM DiscountIf you have been stuck and are tired of that horrible feeling, it’s time to test out accountability software on your devices. Software can provide that needed defense and friction to build up your confidence and discipline. I call it “rocket” fuel” for accountability!* Personally, I use Ever Accountable. Try this link for a limited 14 day free trial and 20% off after that 14 day trial expires.* To learn more about Ever Accountable, check out my interview with its CEO, Tyler Patterson.Affiliate Partnership: Ritual Organics (Organic Tallow Based Suncare Cream)Sun Tallow – Whipped Beef Tallow Face Cream with Non-Nano ZincCall to ActionIf this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who needs hope.If you’re ready to stop fighting alone, schedule a free Breaking Free Coaching consultation and begin building a life you don’t want to escape from.Subscribe📬 Substack: Keep fighting the good fight.Break Free. Stay Free. Be Free. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Episode DescriptionPorn addiction rarely survives because of a lack of willpower.It survives because of the lies we quietly believe.In this live episode, Mac walks through seven of the most common lies that keep people trapped in unwanted pornography use. Drawing from nearly two decades of personal struggle, over eight years of recovery, coaching conversations, and biblical principles, he explains how these false beliefs shape identity—and how replacing them with truth is the beginning of lasting freedom.Whether you’re struggling personally or helping someone else, this conversation offers practical encouragement and a path toward hope.What You’ll Learn* Why porn addiction thrives on hidden beliefs* Why “I’m not hurting anyone” is one of the biggest lies* The difference between guilt and shame* Why relapse shouldn’t define your identity* Why recovery is about identity transformation—not behavior modification* How accountability changes everything* Why emotional healing matters more than white-knuckling* How to become the man or woman you actually want to becomeResources MentionedArticle7 Common Lies That Keep You Hooked on Porn: 🎙 Related Porn Free Millennial EpisodesEpisode 50 — Matt DobschuetzIdentity, recovery, and practical freedom.Episode 51 — Relapse, Recovery & RenewalMac shares his own relapse and what happened afterward.Episode 9 — Getting Back in the RingLearning to begin again after failure.Episode 53 — The Brush Popper PodcastConversation with Jim & Eric about the cowboy way and rescuing men from the thickets.Episode 55 — Jeanie Hosken, The Anatomy of a Real ApologyBiblical counseling, marriage, healing, and recovery.Episode 66—Danielle Johnson | Re-Fined, Shining Light on Human TraffickingHuman trafficking and pornography’s hidden impact.Books MentionedAtomic Habits — James ClearDiscipline Equals Freedom — Jocko WillinkPodcasts MentionedPorn Free RadioHost: Matt DobschuetzProgram: https://recoveredman.com/Finding TractionHost: Vern TompkeProgram: https://www.bandofbrothers.care/regular-joesOrganizations MentionedFlatirons Community ChurchFight Club Men’s Ministry: https://www.flatironschurch.com/men/Re-FinedAnti Human Trafficking Organization: https://re-fined.org/Memorable Quotes“Porn addiction thrives and survives on lies.”“Addiction loves tomorrow because tomorrow requires nothing from you today.”“Recovery started becoming real when I stopped thinking about freedom and started pursuing it.”“Don’t become the judge. Become the detective.”“Failure is an event—not your identity.”“Enough coping. Start digging.”“Lies imprison. Truth liberates.”“Freedom starts with identity.”Ready to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting momentum through practical coaching, accountability, and identity transformation.1:1 Breaking Free CoachingIf you’re ready to stop white-knuckling recovery and build a life you don’t want to escape from, I’d love to help.Momentum Coaching includes:* Weekly 1:1 coaching sessions* Personalized recovery strategy* Accountability and habit building* Identity-focused recovery* Practical tools for long-term freedomSchedule a free 1 hour discovery callAdditional Questions?Email: [email protected] Software I Personally RecommendRecovery becomes much easier when you’re no longer fighting alone.I’ve personally used Ever Accountable for years as part of my own recovery journey. It’s one of the tools I trust and recommend because it creates real transparency and accountability across your devices.Ever Accountable helps you:* Stay accountable online* Monitor phones, tablets, and computers* Receive accountability reports* Reduce secrecy and isolation* Build consistent recovery habitsUse my link to receive:* 14-Day Free Trial* 20% OFF Monthly or Annual Planshttps://everaccountable.com/affiliate-landing-page/?linkId=lp_614685&sourceId=porn-free-millennial&tenantId=everaccountable&affS1=naConnect With Mac* Porn Free Millennial Substack* PFM YouTube* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Apple* Porn Free Millennial Podcast Spotify* The Personal Freedom Podcast Substack* The Personal Freedom Podcast YouTube* The Personal Freedom Podcast Apple* The Personal Freedom Podcast SpotifyCall to ActionIf this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who needs hope.If you’re ready to stop fighting alone, schedule a free Breaking Free Coaching consultation and begin building a life you don’t want to escape from. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Listener DiscretionThis episode contains discussions surrounding human trafficking, sexual exploitation, pornography, addiction, abuse, and child exploitation. Listener discretion is advised.Podcast NotesIn this important educational conversation, I sit down with Danielle Johnson of Re-Fined to discuss the realities of human trafficking, online exploitation, pornography’s role in fueling demand, and the growing dangers facing children in the digital age.Danielle shares insights from over a decade working in anti-trafficking advocacy, survivor care, addiction counseling, and prevention training throughout Colorado. Together, we unpack how trafficking actually operates, the psychological tactics of coercion and grooming, the rise of sextortion, and why digital culture has made exploitation more accessible than ever before.This episode is not intended to shame those struggling with pornography addiction, but rather to educate listeners on the deeper systems of exploitation connected to the industry while offering hope, healing, and awareness.Topics Discussed* What human trafficking actually is* Force, fraud, and coercion explained* The connection between pornography and trafficking demand* Online grooming and sextortion* Child exploitation in the digital age* The desensitization effects of pornography* Addiction, shame, and recovery* Survivor advocacy and long-term healing* How social media and technology have changed trafficking* Warning signs parents and communities should knowAbout Danielle JohnsonDanielle Johnson is the Director of Partnerships and Training Specialist at Re-Fined, an organization dedicated to supporting survivors of sexual exploitation and human trafficking through advocacy, education, mentorship, and recovery support.PFM Writings About Human TraffickingResources & Organizations Mentioned* Re-Fined* Fight the New Drug* Justice Defense Fund* Social Media Dangers Exposed by Mom Posing as 11 Year Old - Bark Video* OBLIVIOUS (short film about sex-trafficking)* Boys Documentary (Documentary about sex trafficking experiences of young boys)Support the Re-FinedListen/Watch/Read PFM* Read and Subsribe on Substack* Watch and Subscribe YouTube* Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts* Listen and Follow on SpotifyAffiliate PartnershipsEver AccountableIf you’re serious about building a life of integrity, accountability matters. Use the accountability software I use — it is rocket fuel for recovery!14-Day Free Trial & 20% Off Monthly or Yearly PlansUse my link here & watch my most recent podcast with the CEO!Ritual OrganicsI’d been using Ritual Organics products for over a year and love how it looks and works on my skin.Only 6 ingredients: Grass-fed tallow, organic jojoba, non-nano zinc, organic rosehip, vitamin E, and organic lavender.Small business. Holistic-minded products I actually use in everyday life.If you’ve been looking for cleaner alternatives and want to support a company doing things the right way, definitely check them out. New customers can also get 15% off their first purchase when signing up. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

In this deeply honest and emotional episode of the Porn Free Millennial Podcast, I sit down with Alex Perez to talk about addiction, shame, divorce, dark pits of despair, healing, the importance family/friends, falling in love again, getting remarried, and finding victory through Christ.In this conversation, we reflect on the famous David Foster Wallace “fish and water” analogy—two young fish swimming along until an older fish asks, “How’s the water?” The younger fish eventually turns and asks, “What the hell is water?” That idea becomes a powerful metaphor throughout the episode that many people are so immersed in pornified modern culture, distraction, shame, and emotional isolation that they no longer even recognize the environment shaping them.In Episode 65, Alex shares how a childhood exposure to porn at just 10 years old slowly developed into a 15+ year addiction that distorted his identity, relationships, and view of intimacy. What began as curiosity eventually became isolation, secrecy, emotional coping, and hopelessness.We talk openly about:* The hidden emotional roots behind porn addiction* Shame vs guilt* Marriage, betrayal, and the devastating cost of secrecy* The lies addiction whispers* Why isolation fuels addiction* The power of brotherhood and accountability* Neuroplasticity and rewiring the mind* Recovery through Christ and radical honesty* The importance of “doing the next right thing and telling the truth”* Leading others to victory through Pure Desire courses at ChurchOne of the most powerful moments in the conversation comes when Alex recounts sitting alone with a gun to his head, fully convinced he was beyond saving — until he heard a quiet but unmistakable message from God:“Put the gun down and call your parents.”That moment became the turning point that eventually led him toward healing, recovery, remarriage, ministry work, and helping other men break free from porn addiction through the Pure Desire program.This episode is raw, hopeful, funny at times, deeply human, and packed with wisdom for anyone who feels trapped in “porn prison” and wonders if freedom is possible.Episode Highlights* Being exposed to porn as a child and how quickly it escalated* The “autopilot” nature of addiction and relapse cycles* Why porn addiction is often rooted in emotional wounds, not just lust* How secrecy and shame nearly led Alex to ending things all-together* The moment Christ changed everything* Why recovery requires truth, community, and accountability* The difference between guilt and shame* How porn distorts intimacy and relationships* Rebuilding identity after divorce and addiction* The role of brotherhood in long-term recovery* Why “white knuckling” recovery usually fails* Radical honesty and freedom from a hidden life* How helping others became part of Alex’s healing journeyMemorable Quotes“Porn tells you what sex is supposed to be like… but none of it is real.”“I didn’t even feel like a human being anymore.”“Do the next right thing and tell the truth.”“You think you’re alone… until you finally tell the truth and people stay.”“Porn doesn’t fill you up. It hollows you out.”“Freedom is possible. There is light at the end of that tunnel.”Resources Mentioned* My Conversation with Alex’s Mom, Kit Perez | Grey Cell Systems on Her Podcast - Change the Game Podcast S1 E13: Fragmentation, Addiction, and the Cost of Living a Split Life* Pure Desire Ministries* Pure Desire Podcast * Porn Free Radio Podcast (Matt Dobschuetz)* Finding Traction Podcast (Vern Tompke)* Jocko Podcast / Discipline Equals FreedomFinal ThoughtsThis conversation is a reminder that addiction thrives in darkness, but healing begins the moment truth enters the room.You are not too far gone.You are not uniquely broken.And you do not have to fight this battle alone.If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who may need hope today.Listen/Watch/Read PFM* Read and Subsribe on Substack* Watch and Subscribe YouTube* Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts* Listen and Follow on SpotifyAffiliate PartnershipsEver AccountableIf you’re serious about building a life of integrity, accountability matters. Use the accountability software I use — it is rocket fuel for recovery!14-Day Free Trial & 20% Off Monthly or Yearly PlansUse my link here & watch my most recent podcast with the CEO!Ritual OrganicsI’d been using Ritual Organics products for over a year and love how it looks and works on my skin.Only 6 ingredients: Grass-fed tallow, organic jojoba, non-nano zinc, organic rosehip, vitamin E, and organic lavender.Small business. Holistic-minded products I actually use in everyday life.If you’ve been looking for cleaner alternatives and want to support a company doing things the right way, definitely check them out. New customers can also get 15% off their first purchase when signing up. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 64 — The Girl Down the StreetInnocence Attacked, Childhood Porn Exposure, and the Wounds We Never Saw ComingIn this deeply personal solo episode, I read and reflect on my piece The Girl Down the Street — a story about first love, early porn exposure, emotional immaturity, and the hidden fallout pornography can have on relationships long before we even understand what’s happening.Drawing from a 2024 Missouri Medicine study on pornography exposure among youth, I explore how boys are often first exposed to porn around ages 10–11 and girls around ages 12–13, and how those early experiences can quietly shape identity, expectations, intimacy, and emotional development.This episode is not merely about addiction.It’s about innocence.The innocence of the young boy exposed too early…and the innocence of the people he would someday attempt to love while carrying a battle he did not yet understand.I share the story of my first girlfriend — “the girl down the street” — and reflect honestly on how a porn addiction that began in childhood affected the way I viewed love, relationships, jealousy, emotional connection, and intimacy.This is an episode about:* the unseen emotional fallout of pornography* the quiet heartbreak many young women carry* the normalization of hyper-sexualization* and the importance of guidance, accountability, and honest conversations with the next generationIn This Episode* The average age young boys and girls are first exposed to porn* Why the word “exposed” matters* The “3 A’s” fueling modern porn consumption:* Affordability* Accessibility* Anonymity* How pornography shapes emotional development and relationship expectations* The hidden effect porn had on my first relationships* Why many young men carry battles they never chose* The connection between porn, jealousy, objectification, and emotional immaturity* The importance of protecting innocence in the digital age* Parenting, guidance, and having empathetic conversations with kids* Why shame and isolation often deepen addictionKey Quotes“Pornography is not merely shaping private behavior. It’s shaping emotional development.”“The innocence of the people he would someday attempt to love while carrying a battle he did not yet understand.”“Two kids. One wounded in silence and shame. One wounded by fallout and blame.”“That’s where the disenchantment starts — not in adulthood, but in childhood.”Resources & Links* Read the reflection: The Girl Down the Street* 2024 Missouri Medicine Study: Effects of Pornography on Youth: A Review* Ever Accountable Accountability Software 14 Free Trial and 20% off per month/year* Ritual Organics Affiliate Link* My episodes with Tyler Patterson, CEO of Ever Accountable* Episode 60* Episode 46* Porn Free Millennial SubstackCoaching & CollaborationI offer 1-on-1 coaching for men seeking freedom from pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.For a free 30-minute consultation:Email: [email protected] a callIf you have a story to share or work in the recovery space and would like to collaborate on the podcast, feel free to reach out.Keep fighting the good fight.Much love. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe

Porn Free Millennial Podcast – Episode 63Victory in Christ: Identity-Based Freedom w/ James MenendezEpisode OverviewThere’s a version of you on the other side of everything you’re struggling with right now—free, clear, and at peace.The real question is how do you get there?In this episode, Mac sits down with returning guest James Menendez author of Creation Awaits and Creation Press (Episode 34) to unpack a powerful story of redemption, healing, and what true transformation actually looks like.James shares how he found lasting freedom from porn—not through behavior modification, but through identity in Christ—and how that journey led him to build the Victory in Christ app.If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of shame, secrecy, or relapse… this conversation will challenge everything you thought recovery was about.Episode Highlights* Why porn addiction is a symptom—not the root problem* The role of shame, secrecy, and hidden life in keeping you stuck* How grace + truth creates real freedom (not just willpower)* The breakthrough moment: confession and radical honesty* Why behavior modification alone doesn’t work* Understanding “strongholds” and the lies we believe* The 3 core human needs:→ Acceptance→ Security→ Significance* How identity in Christ replaces false identity* Spiritual warfare explained through 2 Corinthians 10 (battle of the mind)* The power of speaking truth out loud (Stronghold Declarations)* Why secrecy fuels addiction—and exposure breaks itAbout the Victory in Christ AppJames created the Victory in Christ app to address what most recovery tools miss:Not just behavior… but belief.Instead of focusing on “stop watching porn,” the app helps you:* Identify the lies driving your behavior* Replace them with truth rooted in Scripture* Build daily habits around identity transformation* Use tools like:* Sobriety tracking* Stronghold declarations (truth statements)* AI-assisted reflection to uncover root beliefs* Identity-based recovery courseNo more white-knuckling.This is identity-based freedom.Key Concept: StrongholdsA stronghold is a deeply rooted lie you believe about yourself or God.Example:* Lie: “I’m not enough”* Truth: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”The process:* Identify the lie* Renounce it* Replace it with truth* Speak that truth dailyThis is where transformation actually happens.Spiritual Warfare (Simplified)James breaks down how the real battle isn’t just behavior—it’s in the mind:* Lies → Belief → Behavior* Truth → Freedom → TransformationUsing scripture (like 2 Corinthians 10), he explains how to:* Take thoughts captive* Replace lies with truth* Actively fight back, not passively resistConnect with James MenendezVictory in Christ App: https://victoryinchrist.app/Substack (Creation Awaits):Creation Press:No Longer Slaves (fictional novel): https://creationpress.substack.com/s/no-longer-slavesEmail / Contact: If anyone wants to contact James directly, they can email James at [email protected] or [email protected] Platforms (YouTube, X, etc.):Creation Awaits YouTube Channel: @creationawaitsCreation Awaits LinkTree:linktr.ee/creationawaitsBooks / Resources Mentioned* Freedom in Christ Ministries (Identity-based discipleship): https://www.ficm.org/* The Conquer Series (Recovery resource James previously used): https://www.conquerseries.com/* The Bible (Referenced Scriptures):* John 8:32 – “The truth will set you free”* Romans 6–8 (sin, law, and freedom in Christ)* 2 Corinthians 10 (taking thoughts captive)* Ephesians 6 (Armor of God)* Hebrews 4:12 (Word of God as a sword)* Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes: https://www.amazon.com/Out-Shadows-Understanding-Sexual-Addiction/dp/1568386214Listen / Watch the PodcastRead Watch & Subscribe YouTubeListen on Podcast Platforms:Apple PodcastsSpotifyTools for Breaking Free:If you’re serious about building a life of integrity, accountability matters.Ever Accountable14-Day Free Trial20% Off Monthly or Yearly PlansUse my link here & watch my most recent podcast with the CEO!Final ThoughtYou don’t “white-knuckle” your way to freedom.You need to become someone new.And that starts with what you believe is true about:* God* Yourself* Your identity This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe