Dr. Tara Porter: Perfectionism, failure and embracing 'good enough'

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, I'm speaking with Aly Bullock, a licensed marriage and family therapist and Head of Relationships at Paired, to discuss the complexities of sexual desire discrepancies in long-term relationships. Aly joins me to unpack a dilemma from a listener who feels sexually rejected in her marriage, despite having a strong partnership in other areas.We explore the emotional impact of unmet sexual needs, the importance of open communication, and the societal stereotypes that often silence women in similar situations. Aly highlights the need for couples to have honest conversations about their desires, as well as giving some incredibly useful practical advice on how couples can reconnect emotionally and physically and find understanding and empathy for each other's emotional experience.Dial Emma listeners can enjoy 25% off a year membership to Paired Premium - just follow this link: https://www.paired.com/partners/alypodcast---If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, our listener dilemma comes from a concerned mother, whose teenage daughter is struggling under the pressure to be perfect. To help me unpack it, I'm joined by Dr. Tara Porter, a chartered psychologist and author who has more than 25 years' experience in mental health - particularly in child and adolescent contexts.We delve into the impact that academic expectations can have on young people, the importance of self-reflection as a parent, and the value of allowing young people to experience failure. Tara also shares some practical steps for parents to address their own perfectionism and embrace a 'good enough' approach to life.---Find out more about Tara's work: https://www.taraporterpsychologist.com/If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, I'm delighted to be tackling our listener dilemma with another special guest: psychologist and author of How to Be Selfish, Suzy Reading.Suzy joins me to talk about the emotional toll of constantly “holding everything together” and why so many people, especially women, struggle to rest without guilt. Responding to a listener who feels invisible after years of caring for her children, ageing parents, and partner, we explore how cultural conditioning and inherited beliefs teach us that self-worth comes from selflessness, and how we can reframe those beliefs to find better self-advocacy in our daily lives.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.In this week's episode, I explore the sharp end of love - those crossroads where heart and future pull in opposite directions.Two listeners share life-defining dilemmas that ask the same haunting question: What do you do when your heart and your future don’t want the same thing?In our first letter, a woman faces the agony of wanting children, when her long-term partner does not. To answer it, I unpack the difference between change and self-realisation, how resentment grows in the spaces where love stands still, and why sometimes two truths can both be right but no longer fit together.In our second dilemma, a happily married listener confesses to falling in love with someone else. I delve into the anatomy of emotional infidelity, the unmet needs that lie beneath attraction, and the difference between a relationship that’s wrong and one that’s simply outgrown.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.Our dilemma this week comes from a listener who is navigating a lifelong struggle with weight and self-acceptance. After years of dieting without lasting success, she finally found hope through weight-loss injections - but when she had to stop due to the cost, the weight, and the shame that comes with it, returned. Now, she finds herself caught between the pressure to start the medication again and the desire to accept herself as she is.To help me respond to our lovely listener and provide some much needed scientific insight, I'm delighted to be joined by Dr. Fredrik Nyström, professor of medicine at Linköping University in Sweden and author of Lighten the Load on Your Shoulders. Fredrik has spent more than 30 years working within endocrinology and studying hormone-producing glands and organs, hypertension, obesity, and diabetes.Fredrik and I explore the complexities of weight management, the societal pressures that often influence our relationship with food and appearance, and the psychological impacts of dieting. We also discuss the role of GLP-1 agonists in weight loss, the importance of self-acceptance in a world filled with conflicting messages about body image, and the power of challenging societal norms and embracing personal choices when it comes to our health and wellbeing.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, we hear from a 31-year-old listener who is struggling to set boundaries around sex and dating. This listener feels fearful of disappointing potential partners or ending up alone altogether, and often finds herself prioritising their desires over her own wants and needs.To help me unpack this dilemma, I'm joined by Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist and certified psycho-sexologist who aims to normalise conversations around sex and empower us all to make informed decisions about our sexual lives.We explore the complexities of dating, boundaries, sexual empowerment and consent, the impact of societal norms on sexual experiences, and the psychological aspects of anxiety and avoidance in sexual relationships. Kate also talks about the need for open communication in relationships, getting to know our personal desires, and the role of better sex education in fostering a healthier relationship with our sexuality.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.In this week’s episode, I'm exploring the complex family roles that shape who we become, and how hard it can be to step outside them.Firstly, we hear from listener has spent her life as “the responsible one” - the organiser, the fixer, the steady sister who always keeps things together. But now she wonders what it would mean to stop playing that part. Can she step into her own light without feeling like she’s abandoning her sister?Our second dilemma comes from someone who has built a very different life from the one she grew up in - a life of comfort and success that feels at odds with her working-class roots. She finds herself hiding her achievements to avoid standing out, torn between loyalty to her past and honesty about her present.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.It's World Mental Health Day this Friday 10th October, so I'm delighted to be joined by a special guest who knows the power of martial arts for mental health better than most: four-time black belt, double gold medal champion and founder of Graham's Academy of Martial Arts, Steve Graham.Our dilemma this week comes from a concerned mother, whose teenage son is struggling with anxiety, depression and a loss of confidence and spends much of his time in his room. She asks: how can I support my son and encourage him to try something new, without making him feel pressured?To help this lovely listener, Steve and I go back to grassroots mental health as it has shown up in our own lives. We discuss the challenges teenagers are facing, especially on social media, the importance of role models to help them navigate those challenges, and how martial arts can serve as a powerful tool for building confidence and providing support.Steve also tells us the benefits of martial arts for our mental wellbeing and the practical steps we can take to get involved in physical activities, encouraging both parents and teens to take action for better mental health.---Useful links:Dopamine Nation by Anna LembkeChimp Paradox by Steve Peters---If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.What happens when a friendship fades without explanation, or ends in a way that feels like a betrayal?This week, I'm exploring the fragile bonds of friendship, and the lack of rituals for closure, clear endings, or language to help us process when they unravel. Our first dilemma involves a friendship that has been slowly, quietly drifting away with no explanation, leaving our listener wondering if they're asking for too much; the second sees a childhood promise broken in a very public way, creating a rupture in a 25-year friendship that is proving difficult to move past.This episode is a reminder that friendships don’t have to be constant to be real - but they do have to be mutual. When they no longer are, the grief of their loss is both real and valid. By acknowledging it, we create the space for new connections that choose us back, in the here and now.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, I'm tackling two dilemmas around work, identity, and balance. First, we hear from a new mum who wonders if it’s selfish to leave a safe but uninspiring job in pursuit of a more fulfilling career, torn between the security her family needs and the desire to model courage and purpose for her daughter. Our second dilemma comes from a listener who has reduced their working hours to focus on health, wellbeing and sustainability long-term, but now faces judgment from colleagues who see part-time work as “slacking.”This episode explores guilt, fear, workplace culture, and the importance of aligning our choices with who we are becoming, not just who we’ve been.If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. ---Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.---Social media:Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellDial Emma @dialemmapodcastEmail: [email protected]