Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

In this special episode of the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks Podcast I sit down with Kevin Franke, former husband of Ruby Franke from the 8 Passengers family vlog, as he shares his lived experience inside a high-control marriage and cult-like system connected to therapist Jodi Hildebrandt.During our conversation, Kevin speaks openly about how emotional vulnerability, religious culture, and misplaced trust created the conditions for manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation.  Listen to understand how cult dynamics develop inside families, relationships, and belief systems, and why even intelligent, capable people can become trapped in these environments.Kevin Franke reflects on the rise and fall of 8 Passengers, his marriage to Ruby Franke, the psychological control exerted by Jodi Hildebrandt, and the devastating personal consequences that followed, including loss of identity, faith confusion, PTSD symptoms, and public scrutiny. He also shares what healing has looked like since leaving the system, rebuilding self-trust, reconnecting with safe relationships, and creating a life grounded in agency and emotional health.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and find out how to work with me on my website at drjuliehanks.com/coaching. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In this episode, I sit down with David Matheson, a former LDS conversion therapist who is now openly gay. You may recognize David from episode 1 of Bravo’s Surviving Mormonism with Heather Gay.In our conversation, David opens up about his own experience as a client in conversion therapy, the harmful assumptions that shaped that world, and the moment he realized that no amount of effort would change his sexual orientation. We also talk about the tender complexity of mixed-orientation marriages, his personal coming-out process, and what he would say today to the clients he once tried to help in ways he now knows were damaging.If you’re navigating your own faith expansion, supporting a loved one who has come out, or simply wanting to understand these experiences with more compassion, this episode offers a gentle, grounded space to listen and learn.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining The Dr. Julie Hanks Gorup Coaching Community at drjuliehanks.com/community. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

This bonus episode is for anyone who is looking to better understand their personal relationship with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Listen as Ask Dr. Julie Hanks combines with the Latter-day Struggles podcast for a special episode all about moving forward with the LDS Church in the healthiest way for you.If you aren’t sure how to move forward in your relationship with the LDS Church, Valerie and I are hosting a discussion series just for you. This 4-week Q&A series will help you better understand what you want your relationship with the Church to look like. We will show you how differentiation of self can help you develop a healthy relationship with the Church regardless of if you choose to stay or leave.Listen for a taste of what you'll get when you sign up for this 4-week discussion series all about supporting those who are perplexed about how to relate to the LDS Church. The sessions will include a Q&A and instruction on practical ways to develop differentiation skills in your life, which can improve all your relationships--not just your relationship with the Church.Each one-hour session is held remotely via Zoom. Spots are limited, so don’t wait to sign up. First session held October 8th.Four one-hour sessions with two therapists is an absolute steal of a deal. While this series is valued at $2,000, you can sign up today for only $169Secure your spot (limited availability) today at https://drjuliehanks.as.me/decideJoin my Patreon DJH Insiders https://www.patreon.com/drjuliehanks/Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In today's episode I talk with Saren and answer the question “How do I support my 13-year-old daughter who wants to stay in the LDS Church when I have left?” Saren is trying to reconcile letting her child be a part of something that she has chosen to leave behind while also respecting her daughter’s agency. To top it off, her daughter has had a difficult time with her mother’s decision to leave the Church.We discuss strategies—like debriefing after church and staying in contact with her daughter’s teachers—that can help Saren and her daughter discuss spiritual matters while also keeping a pulse on what she is learning. This is a great opportunity for Saren to help her daughter develop skills like critical thinking, self trust, and sense of self. They are in different places spiritually, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t maintain a deep and genuine relationship. By being true to herself, Saren is modeling how to individualize spirituality and experience continual growth. Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In this episode I meet with Kellice and answer the question “How do I decide on a career that I won’t later regret or wish I had taken a different path?” Kellice wants to choose a sustainable career to support herself and her boys, but she isn’t sure where to start. How can she be sure she isn’t going to make the wrong decision?I challenge Kellice to consider that there may be more than one path for her to choose. Feeling like there is one best choice—and that you will suffer if you don’t find it—is a common and paralyzing dynamic. But what if there isn’t just one path? What if you get to choose what you want? The reality is that there are many careers Kellice could enjoy. And if she picks something and isn’t happy, she doesn’t have to be stuck. It’s never too late to evolve and choose again.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

This bonus episode of the podcast is for anyone who is wanting to step back from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while also protecting their mental health. Listen as fellow LDS therapist Valerie Hamaker and I share insight on important topics like why people choose to leave  the LDS Church after a faith transition and how to develop the crucial skill of setting boundaries.Stepping back? How to Leave in a Psychologically Healthy WayIf you choose to leave and want to protect your mental health, Valerie and I are hosting a discussion series just for you. This 4-week Q&A discussion series will help you find clarity, set boundaries, maintain relationships, and build community.The discussion covers potential challenges such as navigating changes in relationships with family and the larger community, managing internalized beliefs and fears, and the grief that accompanies leaving one's spiritual community. Each hour session is held remotely via Zoom. Spots are extremely limited, so don’t wait to sign up.Four hour-long sessions with two therapists is an absolute steal of a deal. While this series is valued at $2,000, you can sign up today for only $169.Stepping back from the Church? Join us hereHave you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Listen as I chat with Alyssa and answer the question “How do I heal from a patriarchal marriage and let go of resentment I’m carrying towards the LDS Church?” Alyssa and her husband reevaluated the lessons they were taught about marriage and have worked to move toward a partnership model. She feels angry when she thinks about the time she lost living in a patriarchal marriage and sad when she thinks about her past self who didn’t feel empowered.I invite Alyssa to allow herself to feel the anger that comes up when she thinks about what she lost. Pushing the anger away will only prolong her healing.No experience is wasted. There are opportunities Alyssa didn’t have in a patriarchal marriage, and she also gained certain experiences during that time that help her to be who she is today. There are opportunities wasted, but the work that she has been doing is still meaningful. Caring for a home and family is meaningful work. And now she gets to do it consciously and with balance while building a life she loves.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In this podcast episode I sit down with Mallory and answer the question “How do I pursue a high-powered career and still show up as the mom I want to be?” Mallory recently went back to work part-time and is feeling immense guilt. It feels like she can’t win: When she is at work, she feels like she should be staying home with her children (and feel fulfilled while doing it). And when she is at home with her kids, she feels like she should be working harder.I point out that Mallory is carrying around a lot of “shoulds.” We unpack why she struggles to prioritize her needs and wants. We also do an exercise that could be helpful for those listening if you also struggle with the guilt that comes from feeling there are things that you “should” be doing.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In this episode I talk with Diana and answer the question “How can I better communicate to my husband that I’m not comfortable letting our child sleep at my in-laws’ house?” Diana is not okay with either herself or her child sleeping there because years ago, her father-in-law was arrested for child molestation. Her husband has struggled to respect this boundary.Diana and I roleplay a conversation with her husband where she holds this boundary firm. She has the right to say no to sleepovers, to trust her intuition, and to set this boundary. Her husband does not have to understand or agree for her to set this boundary, even if it makes things awkward for a time. Diana’s number one job is to keep her child safe.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

In this episode, I chat with Christine and answer the question “How should I approach my daughter’s upcoming baptism when I don’t believe 8-year-olds are capable of making this choice?” Christine and her husband have several valid hesitations about their daughter getting baptized when they aren't sure that she really understands what she would be committing to.Christine and I unpack her concerns and I challenge the thought that her daughter has to be totally “ready” to commit to baptism before she moves forward with it. We also chat about how Christine and her husband can help their daughter develop her sense of self, how they can teach her the values that are important to them, and how they can encourage their daughter to avoid the rigid thinking that is sometimes common in the LDS Church.Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.