Ep. 13 - I'm Doing Everything Right—So Why Don’t I Feel Loved?

About the Podcast: Wounded Boy, Healed Man is a podcast exploring the messy, real work of healing, spiritual awakening, and becoming whole. Hosted by Jordan, these episodes dive deep into the emotional and spiritual challenges we face as we navigate identity, loss, and the journey toward authenticity.Episode 15: WTF is a Spiritual Awakening? Part 2: Anger[0:00] Opening[1:11] Show Intro — Welcome to the podcast and what this space is really about.[2:28] Episode Intro: Anger — Jordan introduces Part 2 of the "WTF is a Spiritual Awakening?" miniseries and what to expect in this episode.[4:06] NYC Trip - Filling Your Cup — A solo vacation as a practice in reclaiming your own experience. The city as organism, energy, and rebirth.[10:16] Awakening Recap: Sleep to Waking — What spirituality means, what we've been unconscious to, and why being asleep initially served us.[13:29] The Awakening Process - The Fringe Moment — How awakening happens in sudden moments, not gradually. The point of no return and the body's refusal to stay in misalignment.[16:52] Anger & the Body — Why we're uncomfortable with anger. Depression as self-directed anger, and how unprocessed emotion becomes illness.[21:10] What We Do With Anger — The three responses: suppression, repression, and expression. Is there another way?[25:41] The Projection Point (Anger as Mirror) — Psychological projection and why we blame others for our anger. Boundary violations and the spiritual cost of violating yourself.[37:53] Anger & Transformation — How anger connects to awakening. The healing arc: Grief → Anger → Integration.[43:06] Closing / Integration — Anger as teacher, not enemy. Final reflection on choice and consciousness.[44:53] Sign OffEngage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

About the Podcast: Wounded Boy, Healed Man is a podcast exploring the messy, real work of healing, spiritual awakening, and becoming whole. Hosted by Jordan, these episodes dive into the emotional and spiritual challenges we face as we navigate identity, loss, and the journey toward authenticity.Episode 14: WTF is a Spiritual Awakening? Part 1: Grief[0:00] Episode Introduction[0:47] Show Intro: Welcome to the podcast and what this space is really about.[2:10] The Gap: Where Jordan Has Been A breakdown of the past year—divorce, discovering his artist self, losing his best friend (his dog), and surviving in survival mode.[13:59] What is a Spiritual Awakening? Exploring the formless vs. form, why there's no objective definition, and how awakening destabilizes everything you thought was solid.[17:55] So What We're Trying to Do Why sharing stories matters and how this miniseries offers a space to normalize experiences that feel isolating.[19:13] The Journey Begins: Understanding Sleepness & Awakening How we're conditioned from birth and what happens when attachment breaks open.[21:30] Grief is Normal Why grief is the proper response to loss and why most of us were taught the opposite.[23:30] Dealing with Grief: The Body Component Why grief can't be solved in the mind—it must be felt in the body.[24:38] Three Paths: Suppression, Repression, Expression Understanding how we avoid grief and the cost of keeping it stuck inside.[26:18] The Underlying Mechanic: Resistance Reading of Jordan's grief poem and exploring how resistance—not the grief itself—creates the suffering.[29:03] Your Personal Strategy: Normalizing & Perspective Jordan's approach to working with grief through understanding its purpose and function.[30:37] Grief is Contextual: The Freedom at the Body Level Why context matters culturally but falls away when you actually process emotion.[32:14] Cultural Examples: Funeral Rites, Mourning Periods, Communal Processing How different cultures honor grief—from Navajo ceremonies to Jewish shiva to Maori tangi.[33:53] The Social Dimension & Men's Grief Unwritten rules about masculine emotional expression and why crying doesn't make you less of a man.[34:02] Permission to Cry: Jordan's Story Jordan's experience of crying everywhere and the freedom that comes from normalizing tears.[35:41] Closing: Anchor the Episode Recapping the core message: grief is normal, resistance creates suffering, and breaking open is where awakening begins.[38:00] Sign Off Final gratitude and well-wishes.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:You’re doing everything right—so why does love still feel out of reach? In this episode, we’re talking about the masks we wear to be loved, the hidden cost of keeping them on, and what it really takes to be seen.Show Notes:1:00 - What this podcast is really about, why this episode matters more than ever right now1:58 - Why I disappeared for a while & the survival mode I’ve been stuck in3:30 - The masks we wear aren’t just habits—they’re contracts we signed without realizing it5:34 - Breaking down the common masks:The Perfectionist Mask – How it traps high-achievers in a cycle of never feeling good enoughThe Emotional Camel Mask – Why selflessness can become a prisonThe Performer Mask – The hidden cost of always trying to entertain and be “valuable”10:28 - The moment you realize you want out—the exhaustion of keeping up the act16:40 - The irony of conformity: why trying to be the “ideal” makes you disappear18:54 - What actually makes people magnetic? Why quirks, weirdness, and realness matter more than a perfect projection20:30 - The 8 Mile rap battle moment – Owning your flaws so no one else can use them against you21:58 - The real fear of being seen: why unmasking is terrifying, but the alternative is worse25:02 - My personal struggle with this—why this episode is really a message I needed to hear myself 26:13 - Closing thoughts – The risk of taking the mask off, the reward of being truly known, and why I appreciate you for being hereEngage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode TeaserWhat if the biggest challenges in your life weren’t caused by the world around you, but by your own mind? In this episode, we dive into seven toxic lies your brain keeps telling you—distortions that sabotage your peace, relationships, and self-worth. We'll explore why these mental traps happen, how they affect your life, and what you can do to break free.[0:00] IntroductionWelcome to the show! I talk about how I created this episode while personally wrestling with some of the same cognitive distortions we’ll discuss today. These struggles remind me (and all of us) that this work is ongoing.[03:23] What Are Thoughts, Really?Defining thoughts as mental events, not facts. I explain how biases shape our thinking and introduce the concept of challenging distorted thoughts as part of our mental and spiritual growth.[04:08] The Work of Dr. Daniel AmenA quick dive into Dr. Amen’s research on brain health and his ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) framework. I share how his work has helped me connect brain health, mental health, and cognitive distortions.[05:47] The 7 Lies Your Brain Tells YouWe explore seven common cognitive distortions with relatable stories, including:Identity Illusion (“I am what I think I am”).Catastrophizing (“If this goes wrong, my life is over”).Projection (“It’s all their fault”).Black-and-White Thinking (“If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure”).Emotional Reasoning (“I’ll feel this way forever”).Comparison and Self-Criticism (“I should be further ahead by now”).Fixed Mindset (“I’m stuck like this”).[24:03] The Fox and the Desert Thorns: A FableI share a short fable about a fox named Rumi, whose painful journey through the desert leads to unexpected wisdom. This story illustrates how life’s challenges can guide us toward growth.[26:00] Consequences as a CompassReflecting on how struggles are not punishments but signals. I invite listeners to view the consequences of these cognitive distortions as opportunities for healing and growth.[27:50] Toolkit for Seeing Through the Lies (CLEAR Framework)Introducing a practical tool based on CBT:Catch the thought.Label the distortion.Examine the evidence.Adjust the thought.Repeat the process.I explain how to use this framework to challenge distorted thinking and retrain your brain.[32:24] Closing ReflectionA personal note about how this work has helped me, even as I continue to face challenges. I review the episode’s key takeaways and encourage listeners to approach their journey with patience and kindness.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode TeaserWhat if the heaviness in your chest or the knot in your stomach is your body’s way of speaking to you? In this episode, we explore emotional release as a path to connection, healing, and finding safety within yourself.03:21 - IntroductionA personal story about my son, a forgotten lunchbox, and how a moment of release reminded me of the power of emotional connection.06:43 - The Freedom We Lose as KidsHow parenting shaped our sense of self, and how cycles of unhealed trauma create disconnection from our emotions.10:07 - The Science of Emotional SuppressionWhat happens when we suppress emotions, how they’re stored in the body, and the long-term impact on health and alignment.14:41 - Forget What You Think You KnowA guided exercise to tune into your body and bypass the mind’s stories.19:33 - Signs You’re Ready for ReleaseHow to recognize emotional repression and what your body might be trying to tell you.23:04 - Techniques for ReconnectionTools like movement, music, journaling, and creativity that help release emotions and reconnect with your body.27:33 - Psychedelic-Assisted Emotional ReleaseApproaching psychedelics as a tool for emotional breakthroughs, and how I’ve used them with intention and respect.34:38 - Building a Home Within YourselfThe concept of creating safety and freedom within your own body, no matter where life takes you.36:38 - Book MentionWelcome Home by Najwa Zebian—an inspiring guide on building an inner sanctuary for self-love and healing.37:24 - Closing ThoughtsHow emotional release empowers you to live authentically, with gratitude for every listener ready to take their first steps toward freedom.If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who might benefit from its message.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:Have you ever chased a love so intense you thought it could fix everything, only to find it broke you instead? Or looked back on a relationship and wondered if it was love at all—or something else entirely? In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on limerence, the obsession hiding behind so many of our cultural love stories. We’ll explore how this phenomenon shapes our lives, why we glorify it, and how to break free. If you’ve ever felt consumed by love, this episode might just change the way you see it forever.00:00 – IntroductionWhy this episode has been on my heart for years and why limerence is an idea so many are still unaware of.02:25 – Why Do We Obsess Over Romantic Love?An exploration of the cultural and psychological reasons behind humanity’s fixation on romantic love. Why do we glorify it? Why does it consume us? And what does it mean when reality doesn’t live up to the stories we’ve been sold?04:48 – The Role of Big Media CompaniesFrom Hallmark to Disney, we dive into how corporate giants shaped our ideals of romance. How did they transform love into a product to sell? And what does this mean for the way we experience love in real life?11:41 – The Historical Record of LimerenceA look at Dorothy Tennov’s groundbreaking research, the coining of the term 'limerence,' and why this idea has stayed in the shadows of popular culture.16:01 – Negative Consequences of LimerenceAn eye-opening breakdown of how limerence can wreak havoc on emotional stability, relationships, and mental health. If you think limerence isn’t affecting you, this list might make you think twice.18:29 – Dissecting Romantic Moments in Popular MediaLet’s take iconic romantic stories, like Beauty and the Beast, Titanic, and Friends, and flip the script. We’ll explore the unhealthy dynamics they glorify and imagine what their endings would look like in real life—with all the messy, complex fallout.24:36 – Personal Story: Obsession with a FriendA deeply personal reflection on how limerence played out in my own life and what I learned about love, friendship, and healing along the way.27:06 – Self-Care as the AntidoteIf you’re wondering how to tell the difference between love and limerence, here’s the truth: it all starts with self-love. Learn how self-care can be your guide to healthier relationships and a more grounded understanding of love.30:39 – Closing ReflectionThis episode may have challenged the way you think about love—and that’s okay. Growth begins with questioning. Let’s embrace the discomfort, rebuild, and move forward with clarity and compassion.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:In this episode, we dive into the psychological, emotional, and transformative journey of being ghosted, exploring why it hurts so much and how it can ultimately lead to growth.[0:00] IntroductionHost Jordan introduces the episode with personal reflections on ghosting, sharing their own experiences of feeling abandoned and the emotional intensity that comes with it. This episode is a deep dive into understanding ghosting through storytelling, emotional exploration, and technical insights.[02:32] The Real-Life Ghosting StoryA vivid narrative of meeting someone, feeling an incredible connection, and then experiencing the sudden silence that follows. The story sets the stage for the emotional journey ahead.[04:41] The Bonfire MetaphorListeners are guided into a safe, creative space to explore their emotions. Heavy feelings like rejection, confusion, and anger are imagined as logs thrown into a transformative fire, preparing for the journey to come.[05:30] Why Ghosting Feels So IntenseJordan breaks down the psychology of ghosting. They explore how ambiguous loss, attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, and fearful avoidant), and the dynamics of digital communication amplify the pain of being ghosted. The discussion reveals why our minds crave answers, even when they’re not available.[09:03] The Vanishing BridgeThe journey begins with a path leading to a bridge that disappears beneath your feet, symbolizing the sudden loss of security. Jordan connects this to childhood experiences of betrayal and explains how attachment systems react to the instability of ghosting.[12:20] The Caverns of HurtListeners are taken into dark, echoing caverns where pain intensifies. This part explores the physical and emotional impact of rejection, tying it to memories of childhood vulnerability and highlighting the power of naming and labeling emotions to soften their grip.[14:47] The Mirage of MeaningA bright desert and an illusory oasis represent the search for answers that don’t exist. Jordan unpacks how ghosting triggers the human brain’s need for resolution and explains the concept of ambiguous loss, emphasizing why letting go of unanswered questions is vital for healing.[17:15] The Scorched ClearingThe journey leads to a desolate yet beautiful clearing created by cycles of destruction and rebirth. Drawing parallels to rebuilding a shattered Lego set as a child, this section highlights how moments of devastation create space for transformation and renewal.[20:13] The Garden of RenewalFinally, listeners arrive at a lush garden symbolizing the culmination of growth and healing. Jordan explains how sitting with pain and nurturing intentional practices leads to profound personal transformation over time.[22:33 Practical Application: Grieving as a Path ForwardGhosting isn’t just about losing a connection—it’s about grieving what you hoped for but didn’t receive. Jordan explains how grief is messy yet necessary and shares ancient wisdom about the transformative power of fully sitting with your pain.[24:04] Open Letter to Those Who Ghosted MeJordan reads a heartfelt letter expressing gratitude for the lessons learned from ghosting. This powerful moment reframes pain as an opportunity for growth and resilience.[25:47] Final ReflectionJordan wraps up the episode by reflecting on the messiness and humanity of grieving, emphasizing the importance of staying on the journey with self-love and care. Listeners are reminded of their strength and encouraged to see their experiences as part of a larger cycle of growth.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:In this episode, Jordan unpacks the invisible weight of generational inheritance—both the heirlooms you see and the expectations you don’t. Through deeply personal reflections, fictional vignettes, and a letter to the rebel inside of us all, Jordan explores how these patterns shape our lives, why they feel so hard to break, and how awareness is the first step to freedom.[00:00] Show IntroWelcome to Wounded Boy, Healed Man, where you are invited to explore the power of breaking free from generational cycles. In this episode, Jordan reflects on the invisible forces we inherit and their impact on who we become.[01:27] IntroductionJordan shares why this topic is deeply personal to him, tracing his lifelong journey to articulate the importance of breaking free from generational patterns and why this episode feels like a milestone in that process.[02:45] Every Family Has Its GhostsJordan leads a discussion of the invisible family patterns that play out across generations and shares his experience of observing them from the outside, fighting to maintain his own identity.[05:39] The Layers of InheritanceA breakdown of visible and invisible heirlooms, how they create unspoken obligations, and the surprising ways they shape us as adults.[13:51] Stories of InheritanceJordan presents three fictional vignettes that illustrate the weight of generational patterns:•Sierra and her photo albums•Adrian and his father’s watch•Jessica and her tamale pot[24:01] A Letter to the Rebel Inside of YouJordan reads a heartfelt letter to the part of us that resists conformity and fights for freedom.[25:47] Awareness Is Really All We NeedReflecting on the power of awareness and why simply recognizing these patterns is a powerful first step to breaking free.[29:07] Closing ReflectionsJordan shares why this episode is so meaningful to him and expresses gratitude to the listeners for joining him on this journey. He encourages you to share this episode with someone you love if it resonates.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:In this episode, Jordan gets deeply vulnerable, sharing his origin story and breaking down the science of reclaiming happiness through the brain’s “happy chemicals.” Learn how dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins shape your emotions and how to work with them for healing.[00:00] Show IntroWelcome to Wounded Boy, Healed Man, where Jordan introduces the podcast’s mission: reclaiming energy, authenticity, and self-love by laying down the armor of survival.[01:45] IntroductionJordan explains why this episode feels especially raw and personal. He reflects on his journey of recognizing his story’s worth and introduces the episode’s lighter focus: understanding the brain’s happy chemicals.[03:10] Emotional Low PointJordan recounts a period of deep exhaustion and isolation, where perfectionism and overworking drained him further. He describes how this painful time became a turning point, forcing him to face his inner wounds and begin his healing journey.[05:15] Flashback to the BeginningJordan explores his childhood experiences of growing up without love and support, adapting through hypervigilance, and learning to seek validation externally. He reflects on how these strategies eventually fell short, leading to deeper realizations about his mother wound and the need for authentic healing.[08:49] Turning PointJordan shares how learning about the brain’s happy chemicals gave him tools to break patterns of burnout and take small, intentional steps toward healing. He highlights the importance of understanding these systems to regain a sense of control.[10:37] Happy Chemicals BreakdownJordan introduces the happy chemicals as relatable characters and explains their roles:[13:51] Darcy DopamineThe goal-getter who energizes you with small wins but can lead you into chasing instant gratification. Jordan shares how he channels Darcy through intentional habits like journaling and finishing simple tasks.[14:52] Sal SerotoninThe calm uncle who fosters balance and contentment. Jordan explains how practices like gratitude journaling and walks in the sun help Sal show up, bringing steady, grounding energy.[16:00] Ophelia OxytocinThe love connector who thrives on trust and belonging. Jordan reflects on how small acts of connection, like hugging a loved one or being present with his dog, bring Ophelia into his life.[17:03] Eddie EndorphinThe painkiller who provides relief during tough times. Jordan shares how activities like jiu-jitsu, laughter, and even silly videos activate Eddie, helping him push through emotional and physical struggles.[18:26] Reflection and PurposeJordan ties his origin story to his ongoing healing journey. He reflects on the importance of sharing these lessons and creating a space where others can find tools and inspiration for their own healing.[21:22] Reflection Prompt and Gratitude ClosingListeners are encouraged to consider small, accessible ways to spark joy or calm. Jordan expresses gratitude for the audience’s time and support, leaving them with the reminder that healing happens one step at a time.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me. 

Episode Teaser:Welcome to a different kind of episode of Wounded Boy, Healed Man. Today, we’re taking a more lighthearted and creative approach to one of the most important tools in self-awareness: emotional literacy. Through iconic moments from movies and pop culture, we’ll explore how naming emotions can change the way you understand yourself and handle life’s challenges.[0:00] Introduction:We set the stage for this episode by discussing the importance of emotional literacy and how understanding your feelings can lead to profound growth. This episode takes a playful tone as we use stories and media to make these concepts relatable and fun.[2:48] Thoughts vs. Emotions:An insightful analogy comparing thoughts to telegrams and emotions to text messages helps distinguish their roles in your life. Learn why emotions—immediate and raw—are more trustworthy guides than outdated, often misleading thoughts.[5:43] The Emotions Wheel:We introduce the emotions wheel as a powerful tool for identifying what you’re really feeling. Whether during moments of stress, reflection, or even a psychedelic trip, this simple visual tool can help you pause, recalibrate, and gain clarity. (Spoiler: it might feel a little silly at first, but stick with it—it’s worth it!)[7:58] High Energy, Unpleasant Emotions:Through characters like Mr. Incredible (The Incredibles), Ron Weasley (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), and Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games), we break down the intense feelings of frustration, resentment, and anxiety. What are these emotions really trying to tell us?[12:15] Low Energy, Unpleasant Emotions:We explore the quieter but heavier emotions of melancholy, regret, and disillusionment. Scenes from Avengers: Endgame and The Office (“Scott’s Tots”) help illustrate how these emotions often demand deeper reflection and teach us about loss and accountability.[16:44] High Energy, Pleasant Emotions:Feelings like anticipation, elation, and admiration come to life through Superbad, Aladdin, and The Wolf of Wall Street. These emotions remind us of what it means to feel alive, hopeful, and inspired—but also the importance of questioning where our admiration is directed.[20:40] Low Energy, Pleasant Emotions:We close out the examples with serenity, nostalgia, and compassion. From Moana’s peaceful connection to her ancestors to Luke Skywalker’s compassionate choice in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, these emotions show the quiet power of inner peace and human connection.[24:52] Practical Application:Finally, we discuss how to use tools like the emotions wheel in daily life to name and process emotions effectively. Learn how building familiarity with your emotions helps you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.[27:36] Closing Reflection:We wrap up by reflecting on the transformative potential of emotional literacy. Thank you for joining me on this journey—I can’t wait to share more experiences and insights in future episodes. Take care of yourself, and I’ll see you next time.Engage with the ShowFollow @healedmanpodcast on Instagram and YouTube to connect with me.