Ep. 67- Dating Again, Red Flags and Why I’m Not Settling

It’s the final episode of this season 😭 and Carla is giving us all the gossip on her dating life, as well as announcing her new course! Carla talks about the red flags she’s noticed since getting back into dating, the mindset shifts she’s had this time around, and why you should never trust a man who wears sunglasses in his profile photos. Carla also shares more about her 20-hour online Breathwork + Somatics training course that’s just been announced. This course is rooted in learning how to access the intelligence of the body, understand how emotional processing works, and heal unwanted patterns to create real change. Thank you so much to everyone who tuned into this season of the podcast! If you know anyone who would be interested in supporting the podcast for the next season, please reach out to Carla. Timestamps 00:00 Reflecting on the series 01:33 Introducing the trauma course and why it was created 04:21 Returning to dating apps and expanding possibilities 11:36 Red flags to watch for and what they really mean 13:12 Two recent dates and what they revealed 19:55 Becoming a teacher trainer and what that means 20:31 Who this course is really for 25:14 What daily practice reveals about yourself 30:01 Creating a live container that actually works 35:29 The power of group work and reflection 39:55 Emotions, cycles and working with the body 45:29 Applications and course details Sign up to the 20-hour online Breathwork + Somatics training Connect with Carla: Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠ Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠ Join the Ocean Healing Community: Here Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠ 

In today’s episode, Carla opens up an honest conversation about shame and how it quietly drives so many of our behaviours, from relationships to self worth to the way we cope.   She shares her own experience with shame and explores the difference between healthy and toxic shame, how shame develops early in childhood, and why it is one of the hardest emotions to identify and process. Timestamps00:00 How grief lives in the body and resurfaces over time 01:47 New course announcement  04:10 Speaking directly to men and accountability in rape culture 05:55 How patriarchy shapes consent and conditioning 08:06 The difference between healthy shame and toxic shame 12:59 Personal coping patterns driven by shame 16:27 Why shame begins in childhood 18:20 Sexual trauma, secrecy and silence 21:49 Childhood adaptations and how they carry into adulthood 24:32 The physical body language of shame 27:50 Forgiveness and how to actually practise it 30:30 How shame shows up in relationships 33:34 Breaking patterns and cycles of shame 37:50 Compassionate inquiry and somatic healingIf this episode resonated with you, make sure you’re following the podcast so you never miss an episode! Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join the Ocean Healing Community: HereJoin Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠

Carla is joined by Somatic Therapist and Sexologist Emily King to discuss how so much of what we’ve been taught about sex isn’t actually helpful or even true.Emily shares how she got into sexology, and how that shaped the way she understands behaviour, power, and connection.They talk about sex work, stigma, and the realities of laws in places like Edinburgh, before moving into more personal conversations around desire, libido, and what it actually means to feel connected to your body.Carla and Emily explore things like faking orgasms, performance, and why so many people struggle to talk openly about sex with partners or even friends.They finish off the episode by talking about sex toys, shame, porn, and the way people learn about sex growing up, and Emily shares practical ways to start reconnecting with your body, from understanding arousal to building a healthier relationship with pleasure.Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Emily01:30 What a sexologist actually does02:32 Emily’s journey into this work07:28 The reality of sex work laws in Edinburgh09:24 OnlyFans, safety and exploitation16:04 Rethinking consent through a pleasure-based lens18:21 Losing your libido and reconnecting with your body22:29 How conversations about sex start growing up27:43 Shame around masturbation and talking to friends33:19 Breaking the shame around vibrators38:05 Boredom in sex and building a pleasure practice43:30 Vulva gazing workshops52:23 What holistic pelvic care actually is56:31 Low libido, “depressed vaginas” and faking orgasms01:00:48 Why sex is often centred around erections01:06:35 Where to find EmilyThanks so much for listening to this weeks episode! Make sure to subscribe to hear more episodes every week.Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join the Ocean Healing Community: HereJoin Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠Connect with Emily:Instagram: @EmilyKingTherapyWebsite: Here

Emma is back on the podcast to share her experience of getting diagnosed with ADHD.She and Carla talk openly about struggling with focus, negative self-talk, and addictive tendencies, and highlight the ways in which ADHD can present itself in ways people don’t always recognise.Emma also shares her experience of starting medication, the fears she had before taking it, and what it has been like for her so far.The conversation explores the overlap between ADHD and trauma, and finishes with some practical ways that have helped Emma outside of medication.Timestamps:00:00 All things wedding planning and marriage15:08 Emma’s ADHD diagnosis16:58 Understanding ADHD medication and how it works23:40 ADHD and CPTSD and how similar they can look32:27 Talking trauma and how it shapes identity37:09 The impact of negative self-talk38:16 Letting go of fears around medication41:49 Emotional regulation and feeling more stable45:27 Addiction patterns and behaviours like skin picking48:42 Trauma, shame, and coping mechanism56:45 Microdosing, serotonin, and brain patterns59:04 Routine disruption01:04:48 Is ADHD genetic or trauma-based01:12:19 Practical tools and strategies for ADHDIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe so you don’t miss future eps!Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join the Ocean Healing Community: HereJoin Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠Connect with Emma:Podcast: ⁠Here for the Craic With Emma Neill ⁠Instagram: ⁠Emma Neill ⁠

Carla is back with a solo episode to catch you up on her life since August!In this episode, she opens up about grief and how she’s dealing with it after three years since big loss. She talks about opening up to her friends, feeling more closed off in herself, and how the body always tells the truth even when your mind is telling you otherwise.There’s always this pressure in life to be productive and to constantly do more, but Carla wants to chat about how pushing through isn’t actually what will help you heal.Carla talks about her thoughts on The Chronology of Water (skip 21:49-23:02 if you don’t want spoilers!)And to finish the episode off, Carla leaves you with a question… are we pro bush or not? (link to the article mentioned here )Timestamps00:00 Catching up on life, work balance and where the podcast has been02:49 Talking about loss, vulnerability and how grief shows up differently for everyone06:02 What Compassion Inquiry is and how it works in healing07:52 Becoming more sensitive through healing10:33 The impact of connection and being witnessed in grief14:14 Taking a break from trauma work and why it’s necessary20:36 Thoughts on The Chronology of Water23:15 A Substack essay on body image, shame and societal expectations24:48 Desire, shame and how we relate to our bodies and sexuality28:27 Listener question on low desire and reconnecting with pleasureIf this episode resonated with you, Carla would love to hear from you!Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes too.Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join the Ocean Healing Community: HereJoin Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠

Wise Yourself Up is back!!We’re starting off the season with three incredible guests, Natasha Gold, Una O’Brien and Carly MacDonald, the founders of Youth Untroubled, to talk about something that so many families experience but very few people talk about honestly.Across the UK, more and more young people are entering care, psychiatric units or the justice system. Yet behind these statistics are families who were often asking for help years before things reached crisis point.Parents who felt overwhelmed, children who were struggling with trauma, and systems that simply did not have the capacity to respond in the way that was needed.Youth Untroubled was created to challenge that reality.Natasha, Una and Carly have developed the ISAC model, an intensive systemic approach that works with the whole family instead of placing the responsibility for change solely on the child.By working closely with parents, understanding the context around behaviour, and supporting families consistently over a longer period of time, they are seeing outcomes that are genuinely life changing.In this episode, they explore how trauma can show up as challenging behaviour in young people, why many parents feel blamed or overwhelmed by conflicting advice, and how real repair can begin when shame is replaced with understanding.The conversation also opens up rarely discussed topics such as sibling sexual abuse and harmful sexual behaviour, and why accountability and rehabilitation are essential if we want to break cycles of harm rather than simply punish them.Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of child sexual abuse and sibling harm. Please listen with care.Timestamps00:00 Welcome to the podcast03:44 Meet the founders of Youth Untroubled06:37 How Natasha, Una and Carly first met and their journey into this work12:16 How the ISAC model was created to support families in a different way14:15 What out of home placements are and why young people end up there19:23 Understanding trauma and the behaviours that often follow26:50 Navigating blame, shame and repair within families32:39 Discussing sibling sexual abuse and the complexity families face44:38 The results of the Youth Untroubled model and plans for wider rolloutA huge thank you to Natasha, Una and Carly for the important work they are doing to support young people and families and for sharing their knowledge in this episode.Please consider sharing the episode if you enjoyed it, as spreading awareness about these topics is one of the most powerful ways we can support change.Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠Connect with Youth Untroubled:Youth Untroubled Website: https://www.youthuntroubled.co.uk/ISTAC Website: https://www.istac.co.uk/

JOIN THE 21-DAY BREATHWORK CHALLENGE STARTING ON MONDAY!Whether you never express the emotion of anger or you are angry all the time, this is a powerful emotion that is sending you a signal as to what your needs are.This is the final episode of this season. Carla is chatting about the very misunderstood power of anger and explains how breathwork helps us process it instead of suppressing it.She uses real examples from clients to look at the different ways people respond to anger and why those responses matter for our health and our relationships.You will learn how childhood experiences and gender norms shape the way we express or repress anger, and why acknowledging anger is essential for setting boundaries, identifying needs, and preventing long-term emotional and physical consequences.This is the final episode of this season, so please reach out and share your thoughts with Carla on whether you would like another season and the topics to discuss.Timestamps:00:00 Episode recording take 200:39 Why recent weeks have felt heavy for so many02:48 Grief, anniversaries, and emotional healing07:19 The emotions that show up most: anger, anxiety, shame08:33 How suppressed anger impacts health and illness09:42 Anger in relationships: healthy vs unhealthy responses14:27 The complexity of navigating difficult emotions20:40 Childhood conditioning and suppressed anger21:20 Belief systems formed in early childhood24:05 Therapy and bringing awareness to your reactions25:29 How unexpressed anger affects intimacy and boundaries29:14 The challenges of vulnerability and hyper-independence36:57 How breathwork supports emotional processing and healing39:18 Join the Breathwork ChallengeA huge thank you to the more than 1,000 of you who have subscribed to the podcast. Please reach out to Carla if you enjoy the podcast, as your feedback really helps.Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠

JOIN THE OCEAN HEALING COMMUNITY AT FOUNDER PRICINGCarla is back with part 2, speaking about all things emotions.If you’ve ever wondered why sitting with emotions like sadness, anger, or grief feels so uncomfortable, Carla is going to explain it all in today’s episode and share how slowing down and breathwork can transform the way we heal.Carla shares what she’s learning through her Compassionate Inquiry training with Gabor Maté, alongside her own work in somatics and therapy.She explains why so many of us skip past feelings, rush to soothe, or get stuck in our heads rather than staying with what’s present.She also talks about implicit memory and highlights the role of the “super ego” in holding us back from healing.If this episode resonates with you and you’re ready to stop being so in your head and start connecting inwards, Carla’s new community is launching on the 8th of September with a 21-Day Breathwork Challenge! This is a chance to reconnect with your body, release emotional energy, and find more clarity and calm in daily life.Sign up here for founders’ pricing before it increases!Thank you so much for tuning into this week’s episode. Please make sure to rate the show and subscribe if you haven’t already, so we can keep growing the podcast!Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠

SIGN UP TO THE WAITLIST FOR CARLA’S NEW OCEAN HEALING COMMUNITYThis week, Carla’s talking emotions- why they’re at the root of everything, how most of us either avoid them or get overwhelmed by them, and what can actually help.She shares what she’s learned from her Compassionate Inquiry training with Gabor Maté, plus years of breathwork and body-based work.There’s chat about how childhood shapes us, why we keep falling into the same patterns, and how slowing down to breathe (literally three minutes a day) can change your life.So whether you’re a numb potato or highly anxious, this episode will help you to stop thinking and doing so much and start to tap into living and being.Timestamps00:00 Life updates04:39 What Compassionate Inquiry is and how childhood shapes us09:17 Why emotions are at the heart of everything10:26 How breathwork can help you heal and feel more connected12:36 Understanding trauma and how to start mending old wounds19:28 False memories, body memory, and intergenerational trauma21:01 Childhood experiences and the beliefs they leave behind21:56 Emotional eating and what it’s really trying to tell you22:30 Avoidant relationships and intimacy fears23:49 How parents influence our ability to regulate emotions26:39 Slowing down and creating space28:24 Breathwork, movement, and practices to shift your energy34:48 21-Day Breathwork ChallengePoem mentioned by Portia NelsonShare this episode with someone who needs to slow down, subscribe to the show, and leave a quick review if you enjoyed!!Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠⁠Work with Carla: ⁠⁠Carla McGreevy⁠⁠Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠⁠Stay Connected⁠

Carla sits down with professional boxer turned comedian, Tommy McCarthy.Tommy shares the highs and lows of his boxing career and what led him to hang up his gloves.He opens up about dealing with grief after the loss of his mother, growing up as one of the only Black kids in West Belfast, and living between London and Belfast.Tommy has now stepped into the Irish comedy scene and speaks about his creative process and his goal of becoming the number one comedian in Ireland.Timestamps00:00 Joanne McNally and manifesting wealth03:07 Intro to Tommy McCarthy06:11 Transition from boxing to comedy08:59 Challenges and reflections on boxing13:31 Life in London and cultural differences20:57 Losing his mum and growing up Black in Belfast35:37 Experiences with racism and activism39:47 Getting started with Boxing 41:19 Getting into comedy and live performances51:24 Marriage and family life58:47 Reflecting on getting through tough times growing up01:07:49 Comedy goals and future plans01:14:45 Connect with TommyIf you loved this episode, share it with a friend, subscribe to the podcast, and leave a review!A reminder that Carla’s new community is launching this month too, so keep an eye on her Instagram for more updates.Connect with Carla:Instagram: ⁠@CarlaMcGreevy1⁠Work with Carla: ⁠Carla McGreevy⁠Join Carla’s mailing list: ⁠Stay ConnectedConnect with Tommy and mentions:Instagram: @tommymac90Podcast: Whiskey and WhiteSupport ACLAÍ Palestine: Donate here